Chapter 14: Lori - The Foster Child

‘Hello, stranger, I thought you’d moved out permanently,’ Saffy says when I walk into our shared flat after classes. She’s leaning against the kitchen worktop eating a bowl of cereal, her raven hair scooped up into a high ponytail to reveal multiple earrings in each ear. I haven’t been here since Friday when I went to visit Mum and Elliot with Jacob. I stopped over at Jacob’s on Sunday and Monday night, he said he loves me so much, he didn’t want me to go home yet.

‘I had to come back for some clean clothes!’ I tell her. ‘Have you missed me?’

She grins. ‘The kitchen’s been tidier.’

Saffy is a neat freak and always complains that I leave the kitchen in a mess. Actually, Jacob moans about that too although I make a real effort to be tidy when I’m staying at his. He’s worse than Saffy, he hates anything out of place. A fork in the knife compartment of the kitchen drawer is enough to set him off.

‘How was it at your mum’s? Does she approve of Jacob?’ Cereal finished, Saffy puts her dish in the sink then leans back against the worktop, her arms folded.

‘She must do, we’re going to stay with them for Christmas.’ I don’t add that Jacob practically invited us himself and that I feel a bit awkward about that. Or that I’d rather be going by myself. There were a couple of awkward moments between Jacob and Elliot, Jacob’s fault, he’s a journalist and doesn’t realise how much he interrogates people, he thinks he’s simply chatting to them.

‘Wow! Okay, good to see you’re all getting on then. You’ll be moving in with him next!’ Saffy goes over to the fridge and takes a can of Diet Coke. ‘Want one?’

I nod so she hands it me and grabs another one for herself. We open them and both take a swig. ‘So has he asked you to move in?’ Saffy tilts her head to one side, questioningly.

‘Yes, but it’s too soon. I want my own space sometimes.’ I love Jacob but he can be very intense. Sunday night he asked me loads of questions about Mum and Elliot. It sounded a bit like a cross-examination. And he’s started making noises about me changing my course. ‘You don’t seem happy. I don’t know why you want to be a social worker anyway. They tear families apart. Is that what you want to do?’

He’s so good with words, he knows all the right arguments. Honestly, I get flustered around him and find it hard to stick up for myself.

‘It was love at first sight with you two, wasn’t it?’ Saffy asks. ‘Lucky you!’

She’s right, I am lucky. Jacob could take his pick but he homed in on me right away. He says it was my gorgeous legs in the sexy pumpkin costume that attracted him. We were at a Hallowe’en party in a local bar and Mum had messaged me before I left that she was moving in with Elliot, so I was telling Saffy about it. I’d met Elliot a couple of times by then and really liked him.

Jacob walked past us and accidentally knocked over my drink, so insisted on buying us both another. He was so charismatic with his smiling blue eyes and blond messy hair my fingers itched to run through. I was instantly smitten with him, as were most of the other girls. He asked me out that night and we’ve been together ever since.

That was actually only about five weeks ago but I can’t imagine not having Jacob in my life now. He’s so charming, and kind – mostly, anyway. There’s been a couple of times when he’s been a bit cold and distant and sometimes I haven’t been able to contact him for a couple of days, but as he said he’s working not a student like me. So I try not to be needy and to wait until he contacts me.

‘Jacob thinks I should change my course,’ I tell Saffy. ‘He thinks I’d be better doing a teaching course.’

Saffy raises her eyebrows. ‘Why?’

‘He says that I’m obviously struggling with the course and social workers split up families.’

Saffy’s eyes widen. ‘What a rubbish thing to say. I hope you aren’t taking notice of him.’ Saffy is taking a teaching degree.

I shake my head. ‘I am finding the course a bit difficult at the moment but I’ll get through it. I’ve always wanted to be a social worker.’ Ever since Violet. As I got older I understood her situation more and realised how bad some children’s lives were. I regretted being part of the reason Mum and Dad sent her back. Even though she was horrible to me, back then.

It was nice to see Violet again, to know that she’s in a good place. I’m trying not to let the old worry creep into my mind again, the worry that Violet is going to try and sneak back into Mum’s life and replace me.

Like she used to say she would.

She was just a child, a disturbed, unloved child, I remind myself.

Things are different now.