Chapter 47: Cora - The Foster Child

‘Thank you for the Christmas present. I don’t get many of them,’ Violet says, putting it down on the floor by her handbag. Then she reaches for the wine and takes a sip.

‘You’re welcome,’ I tell her.

Lori has sat down now and is sipping her wine too. The atmosphere feels a bit strained. Violet takes another sip of wine and glances around the room as if looking for something to say. Her eyes rest on the Christmas tree.

‘That Christmas tree is so pretty,’ she says. ‘I love a real tree.’

‘So do I,’ Lori says.

We chat politely for a while, about the decorations in the village, the Christmas carol service – Violet is going – whether it will snow. When Violet has finished her wine I take the plunge. I don’t want Violet to feel unwelcome but I really want to spend some time with Lori.

‘It’s good to see you again, Violet, but Lori has only just arrived and we’ve got a lot to do.’

‘Oh, of course! I must be going too.’ She grabs her bag and gets to her feet. ‘Have a lovely Christmas!’

‘You too, Violet.’

I can see the relief on Lori’s face although she tries to conceal it. ‘Bye, Violet,’ she says.

‘We must have a proper catch-up before you go back, Lori. Message me and we’ll arrange something,’ Violet says as I show her out.

The relief is still on Lori’s face when I come back in. ‘Sorry about that, Lori. I had no idea she was popping in.’

‘Do you bump into her often?’

‘No, not really. Although she is always pleasant when I do. I don’t think she meant to upset you so much when she was a child. She was going through a lot.’

‘She does seem a lot different. But then we both are,’ Lori replies. She looks anxious.

‘I can see that you’re troubled, Lori, and you seemed scared when you thought it might be Jacob at the door.’ I lick my lips then take the plunge. ‘He… doesn’t hurt you, does he? That bruise.’

She looks startled, then shakes her head. ‘It’s not like that…’

‘Then what is it?’ I ask gently. ‘You can tell me anything, you know that.’

She’s silent for a moment. Then she lifts her eyes to meet mine. ‘I’m thinking of quitting uni. I’m not enjoying the course. I’m not sure if I’ve made the right choice of career.’

That blindsides me. Lori has wanted to be a social worker ever since she was about ten.

‘Are you sure this isn’t Jacob talking? He wanted you to swap your course, didn’t he?’ I remember him mentioning it when we had the meal.

She twists her hands together. ‘He knew I was unhappy, that’s why.’

‘Is there anything specific about the course you don’t like? Or is it the university itself, because I’m sure you can change if you want to.’

‘I wanted to be a social worker for all the wrong reasons, Mum. And seeing Violet today, that’s brought it all home to me.’

I’m puzzled by this. What would Violet have to do with her decision to be a social worker? Unless… ‘You mean you felt sorry for her and wanted to help children like her?’

‘That’s one of the reasons but the main one is because I felt guilty about us sending Violet back. I wanted to sort of make up for it.’

Now I’m really puzzled. ‘Oh, darling, it wasn’t your fault. Violet bullied you. She made you feel unsafe, unloved. You had a mental health crisis because of her.’ I swallow as I remember that awful time when both Dale and I were seriously worried about our little girl. Another time when she had bruises she couldn’t explain.

* * *

One day I noticed a big bruise on the top of Lori’s arm when she was getting ready for bed. ‘Lori, darling, how did you do that?’ I asked.

She looked at me, eyes wide. ‘I don’t know.’

‘You must know. Did you fall? Or bump yourself?’ I persisted but she shook her head and looked down at the carpet.

‘You fell over in the playground, didn’t you, Lori?’ Violet piped up, she must have overheard me.

Lori hesitated for a second. ‘Oh yes. I forgot,’ she mumbled, pulling on her pyjama top.

A couple of days later she had a big scratch on her face.

‘That looks sore. How did you do that?’ I asked, cleaning the scratch with an antiseptic wipe.

‘I don’t know,’ Lori stammered.

‘You caught it with your nail, Lori. Don’t you remember?’ Violet told her.

Lori wouldn’t look at Violet but she nodded.

Then one weekend we found Lori in tears and Violet looking very guilty, saying that she accidentally tripped her up. Lori confirmed that it was an accident, but I was uneasy. And Dale was suspicious. ‘I’m not convinced it’s an accident,’ he said. ‘Lori seems scared of Violet.’

Then we had the call from the school and knew we had to let Violet go.

* * *

Lori’s voice brings me back to the present. ‘The thing is, Mum.’ She swallows and her cheeks flush. ‘It was my fault as well. I felt threatened because you and Dad were so fond of her and Violet was so helpful, older than me so she could wash up and help you tidy up and stuff. I felt like you loved her more than me. That maybe you’d send me to a home and decide to keep Violet instead. That’s what Violet used to tell me you’d do.’

I’m stunned by this revelation. ‘Oh Lori. That’s terrible that she told you that. We had no idea.’

‘I was just a little kid, I was used to having you and Dad to myself and I felt insecure I guess. I just wanted things to go back to how they used to be before Violet came. I was really pleased when you sent her back. It wasn’t until a few years later when I read something about a famous person being brought up in a children’s home and how unloved and lonely they felt that I realised what it must have been like for Violet. I felt bad that you sent her away because of me, that I should have tried harder to get on with her. Maybe talked to you more about what was happening. So I decided I was going to be a social worker to help children like her.’

I listen to her in astonishment, my mind in a whirl. We’d realised Lori was unhappy, we thought it was because Violet was bullying her. She had never actually said that, but the way she’d acted around her, how she’d shut herself away in her room, lowered her eyes when Violet talked to her. And that note. I take a breath. ‘Did Violet ever actually bully you? Or hurt you?’

‘A bit. She pushed me sometimes but mainly it was the things she said. She told me that if I played up you would send me to a home. And I felt like she was better than me, she was older, and she helped you such a lot. Whenever I tried to help I did it wrong.’

I get to my feet. I walk over to the window, trying to collect my thoughts.

‘I wish I’d known you felt like that, although we could see you were troubled. The school called us in, told us they were concerned, you weren’t acting your normal self, your work was suffering. Then I found a note under your pillow saying how unhappy you were and how you wished it was just you, me and Dad again. Your dad and I were worried that they would call in social services. We had to let Violet go.’

‘Poor Violet though. It must have been awful for her to go back to the home. I wish we’d tried harder.’ I can hear the regret in Lori’s voice.

‘I know but we had to put your needs first. And your dad hadn’t been fully on board with fostering anyway. Besides Violet told me that she eventually went back to live with her parents, so it all turned out right in the end.’

Lori looks relieved to hear that, thank goodness, she has enough to worry about without blaming herself over Violet.

Just then Elliot walks in, rubbing his hands.

‘How about we show Lori the village lights?’ he suggests. ‘I’m sure we could all do with a bit of fresh air.’

‘I’d love that. Just give me a half an hour or so to unpack and freshen up.’ Lori gets to her feet.

‘I expected Violet to stay a bit longer. I thought she and Lori would have a lot of catching up to do,’ Elliot says as he opens the fridge and takes out a zero beer.

‘Lori was only six when we fostered Violet. I don’t think she remembers much about that time,’ I reply. ‘And to be honest they didn’t really get on. Violet wasn’t easy and it was a difficult time for us all.’

I do though. I remember it all. Lori had been a bag of nerves, terrified. It was cruel of Violet to say that we would send Lori away to a home. I think there’s more to this but maybe Lori doesn’t recall it all, she was so young.

Right now though I have bigger things to worry about. Lori looks frightened, and I think there’s more to her split up with Jacob than she’s telling me. I’m glad she’s staying over the holidays. It will give me a chance to talk to her and encourage her to confide in me. I just hope that Violet doesn’t turn up all the time. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want me and Lori to have time alone together and I wonder if she’s afraid what Lori will tell me.

And if it was her doing all those things, I’m worried that they might start up again now she’s home from her parents’ house.