Chapter 58: Lori - The Foster Child

I stare at the red word in horror, then at the lipstick in Violet’s hand. I shouldn’t have trusted her. I know what she’s like, better than anyone. My mind goes back to fourteen years ago.

* * *

I’d wanted a baby sister – or brother but preferably a sister – since as long as I could remember. All my friends had siblings and seemed to have so much fun with them. I longed to have someone to play with, watch a film with, share things with. My mum and dad were always busy working, and tired when they came home. And when I did manage to persuade them to play a board game with me they always let me win. They thought I didn’t know but I did. When I had a friend over and we played games it was always a lot more fun, and when I won it was because I played better not because my mum or dad let me. Mum told me that she couldn’t grow any more children in her stomach though so I thought that was that.

Then one day Mum and Dad sat me down and talked to me about fostering a little girl. They explained that sometimes parents couldn’t look after their children and they have to go into a special children’s home where they are cared for and are often fostered by other parents. ‘That means they go to live with families like us, and we treat them as our own. So you’d have a sister to play with,’ Mum said.

‘Do you think you’d like that?’ Dad asked.

‘Oh yes!’ I clapped my hands with delight. ‘Can we go and get one now?’ I was only five, I thought that we could just go to this home where the children live and choose a little girl to live with us.

‘Not yet. It will take a bit of time,’ Mum told me.

I was really excited by the idea of finally having a sister. I helped Mum get the spare bedroom ready and we bought extra toys. It took a long time though, I was six by the time my new sister arrived. She was called Violet and was three years older than me.

At first it was great. Violet played with me and didn’t mind if I went into her room and played with her things. Then she started to get fed up with me and wanted to play by herself, or with the older girls at school. She told me to stop hanging around her, that I was a stupid little kid and I began to wish that she hadn’t come to live with us.

She was older than me, she helped Mum with the cooking and she helped Dad with the garden. I tried to help too but I dropped things and messed up and Violet kept telling me that I was useless. Mum and Dad really liked Violet; they talked to her a lot and helped her with her homework. I was worried that they liked her more than me. And she was always there, I never had any time alone with my mum or dad anymore. Violet even insisted on coming in my bed to listen to Mum read me a bedtime story, which was supposed to be our special time. I desperately wanted her to go back and to be on my own with my parents again.

I was so unhappy and too young to process my thoughts, I realise that now. The emotions just churned up inside me and one day they spurted out and I started throwing things around my room. It was a right mess. I couldn’t believe what I’d done and ran out into the garden. I stayed there for ages, playing on my swing, back and forth, back and forth, trying to push it all out of my mind. When I came back in I avoided going to my bedroom, I didn’t want to see the mess I’d made. Then Mum took some clothes in to hang up and was really angry when she saw the mess.

‘What’s been going on?’ she demanded. ‘Did you do this, Lori?’

I was so ashamed I shook my head. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I’d behaved in such a terrible way.

I saw the look Mum and Dad exchanged. Then a little later I heard them whispering in the kitchen. They thought it was Violet. Violet was really cross with me, she came into my room later and pushed me. She told me that if I kept acting bad and didn’t tell the truth then I’d be sent to a children’s home. That made me really sad and scared. I worried that my parents would send me back and keep Violet.

A few days later when me and Violet were playing in the garden I tripped over and bruised my leg. I didn’t tell Mum but she saw it later when I had a bath and wanted to know how I did it. I shook my head and said I didn’t know.

‘You fell over in the garden, didn’t you, Lori?’ Violet reminded me, glaring at me.

I was scared she would push me about again so I nodded quickly.

I was so young and so caught up with my misery, unhappiness and worry that my parents would send me away and keep Violet that I didn’t realise what I was doing. And when Violet finally went back to the home all I felt was relief.

It was years before I realised the impact of my actions.

And now, as I look at the word written in red on the mirror, I realise that Violet has deliberately infiltrated herself into my family and is out for revenge.