Chapter 8: Elliot - The Foster Child

Jacob and Lori leave Sunday evening and Cora goes for a soak in the bath, so I take the opportunity to sit outside, alone with my thoughts. It’s cold and dark, but I’m wrapped up in my thick jacket and sit on the bench against the back wall, which is pretty sheltered.

I have a lot to process. I was surprised to hear about Cora fostering Violet and sending her back after a few months. She’s never mentioned it but then we’ve had a bit of a whirlwind romance and we haven’t had time to tell each other everything.

There’s plenty she doesn’t know about me.

I feel sorry for Violet, being sent back to the children’s home, I know how tough those places can be, but of course Cora and Dale had to put Lori first. And Cora is so kind, she would have done her best to make it work. Some kids are difficult, but then they’ve not had an easy ride in life. I should know.

I take my packet of cigarettes out of my pocket and slip one out. I should give up smoking, but I started it in my teens and it’s part of me. I try to stick to three cigarettes a day though, one in the morning, one at lunchtime and one before I go to bed. As I light the cigarette I think how my life has changed since I met Cora six months ago. I never thought I’d live with anyone, but Cora was in the process of selling her house when we met, so that she could give her ex, Dale, his half, and was looking for somewhere else to buy. We got on so well that when it was sold I suggested that she move in with me – taking us both by surprise.

I get to my feet and walk around the paved area, puffing on my cigarette, still marvelling that I finally took such a big step. I’m not normally so impulsive and have never lived with anyone before, preferring my own space and privacy, but I didn’t feel like that with Cora. I loved her so much that I wanted to share my home with her. I wanted to wake up to her every day, come home to her from work, spend every weekend with her. I’ve never regretted Cora moving in. She brings so much to my life.

She comes with a family too, parents, a daughter. Something I haven’t had for a long time. It’s good to have someone to share things with, to relax with, watch TV, drink a bottle of wine and chat to. I was tired of being alone. I wanted someone to come home to, to share my life, companionship and love. All the things I’ve kept at bay while I’ve been striving to get where I wanted to be. Although even after I got the job, the house, the car I wanted I was scared to let someone in.

You’re safer on your own, I told myself. Then no one can take all this from you.

But I didn’t want to be on my own anymore. And I trust Cora. She’s so open and honest. And the love we have for each other is strong.

‘You know we can never have a family together,’ she said with her usual frankness as she snuggled into me one evening. ‘I had a difficult birth with Lori and it made me infertile.’

‘I don’t want a family, I only want you,’ I reassured her, leaning in for a kiss.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Positive.’

I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Cora is more than enough for me. How could I bring a child into this world when I couldn’t guarantee I would be a good father? My resistance to it is hardly surprising after the childhood I had.

I push the memories away and bring my thoughts back to Cora. I love her living here. Her presence is already everywhere, elegant orchids in various hues at the windows, fragrant candles burning in the evening as we sit in front of the TV, the smell of baking from the kitchen. She has brought so much joy and happiness to my life and I never want to lose her.

I swivel around as I hear a creak behind me. The large back garden is surrounded by a high stone wall, and completely private, but even so my eyes search the shadows for the source of the noise.

A cat, I guess, walls and fences never keep them out. I shrug. As long as they don’t dig up any of my plants. I’ve spent hours out in this garden and it’s precious to me.

I turn back, looking up at the dark velvet sky punctured by a smattering of stars, so far apart from each other it seems as if someone has taken them in their hands and hurled them up into the sky to see where they would land.

I love living in this house, in this village. It’s taken me years of hard work but I’ve finally got where I want to be. And now I have Cora to share my life with. If anyone had told me that I would fall in love and ask someone to move in with me so quickly I would have laughed at them. I’m never impulsive.

Not since that night.

Creak.

I swivel around again, my ears pricked. Then I reach out to flick a switch on the wall and immediately the floodlight comes on, illuminating the garden. Out of the corner of my eye I see something move and my body stiffens – then relaxes as I recognise the shadow of a cat run up the back wall and climb over to the other side.

Just as I’d guessed. Pesky little things. I admire cats in a way, they do their own thing with no concern for anyone. And they know that they are so darn cute that all they have to do is fix their eyes on you, miaow plaintively and they are forgiven for whatever misdemeanour they’ve done. If only life was that simple for humans.

I turn off the floodlight just as the back door opens and Cora appears, wrapped in a fluffy white dressing gown, drying her damp hair with a towel. ‘Everything okay?’ she asks.

‘Just a cat.’ I stroll down the path to the back door. ‘Fancy a hot toddy before we turn in?’

‘Love one, but only a dash of brandy for me,’ she replies.

I wrap my arm around her waist and we go back inside, side by side.

It’s taken me a long time and a lot of hard work but finally I have everything I always wanted. A good job, a beautiful home. And someone who loves me.

But I can’t get that Christmas card out of my mind.

I haven’t told Cora about it, I don’t want to worry her. As there was no name on the card it could be aimed at any of us, although I think it must be meant for me. Cora has only just moved in, who in the village would have a grudge against her?

I hope it’s some sort of sick joke but there’s an uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. My life has been uneventful for years. I have a horrible feeling that’s all about to change.