Chapter 34: NOW - The Safe Room

Sophie’s head lolls as I pull warm pyjamas and a dressing gown onto her tired little body. Outside, the wind howls, echoing around us. I’m trying to be gentle as I dress my daughter, but my movements are frantic. The house is dark, the candle flame flickering. I place her onto the sofa cushions to let her rest.

“Is Emily mad at me?” she asks.

“No, lovely. Emily’s gone home.” I place a blanket over her. “Time to get some rest now.”

We came back downstairs after I saw the pan on the floor. It’s the most open place so that I can see all entrances. I’ve grabbed a golf club from the set in the spare room. Ed’s set. I’ve often thought about using it as a weapon. A knife can too easily be used against a woman in a physical fight. It does too much damage to the body. A golf club can too, but it’s an effective weapon to use in a surprise attack. It’s long, so I don’t need to get too close, and heavy so that I can hit a man’s head—or crotch—and cause some damage.

I fantasise about hitting Peter with the golf club. Watching the metal slam into his skull. Seeing his body slump to the carpet.

“She kept saying I lied,” Sophie says.

“I know.”

“I’m scared, Mummy.”

I stroke her hair, trying to seem brave, or better yet, completely normal. Deep down I’m even more terrified than her. My stalker might be in this house. I don’t know for sure, but I have a horrible, sinking feeling that we’re not alone.

“There’s no need to be scared,” I lie. “I’m here to protect you. So don’t you worry about anything.”

I am the only one who can save me, and I am the only one who can keep my daughter safe.

“I did have a nightmare,” Sophie says. “And I did run away, but I didn’t go outside until she said to.”

“What did Emily say?” I ask.

“She said we should play a game outside. Like hide and seek, but I should run really fast and see if she could catch up.”

I let the words sink in. Why would Emily do that? She knows better than to let a little girl out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm. It was strange behaviour.

I pat the blanket, smiling. “Go to sleep, chickadee.”

She closes her eyes, and I grab the golf club, holding it tight.

I wish Ed was here. I sit next to Sophie, my body tense with fight or flight, and think about the time I told him all about Peter. The quiet way he took it all in. He’d reassured me that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he loved me and together we’d cope with whatever shit came our way. But it wasn’t until he saw what Peter was capable of that he truly understood the way I lived my life. It all finally sank in on our wedding day, of all times.

Sophie snores softly so I kiss her forehead and hurry out of the living room. There’s a tug on my heart as I leave her there. This needs to be quick.

Holding the golf club, I hurry to the front door and make sure it’s locked, then slip the keys into my pocket just in case. Keys are essential. I’ve seen too many movies where the victim can’t find her keys when she needs to get out of the house. That won’t happen to me. They are in my back pocket for safekeeping.

I look in on Sophie again before heading into the kitchen to make sure the garage door is secure. I want to go upstairs and test every window, but instead I settle for trying the patio door that leads into the garden.

I’m on my way back to Sophie when a piercing cry stops me cold. The lights flash on, and I squint against the sudden brightness. The burglar alarm. The power is back on. I rush into the living room to find Sophie there with her hands clamped over her ears.

“It’s okay,” I tell her. “It’s just the power coming back on in the house. Okay?”

Sophie nods, but I see the fear in her eyes.

The alarm is ear-splitting in intensity. Of course, I chose the loudest and most obnoxious one when the system was installed. I wanted to make sure I would be woken in a second if anything happened in the house. I wanted to wake up the entire neighbourhood. But now I regret it because of how afraid Sophie is.

The keypad is by the front door. I kneel down next to it and enter the PIN.

The alarm persists.

I frown, enter the code again and press the reset button but the screech wails on. I change the PIN every few months to be sure, and I never use birth dates or anything personal. It’s a four-digit code and every time I change it, I sit down and spend ten minutes memorising it. I know this is the right code.

Unless I’m wrong?

There’s a book inside the study with codes and passwords in it. I keep it locked in my desk.

“Mummy! Make it stop!”

I rush to the back of the house, the alarm still screaming, the lights on overhead, too bright, too illuminating after so much darkness. I’ve been plunged into a harsh reality. I half-throw myself at the desk, fingers groping the drawer. Did I forget the PIN, or has someone changed the PIN?

It falls open.

Did I forget to lock the drawer?

“Mummy, please make it stop!”

I turn around to find Sophie standing behind me, still with her hands clamped over her ears.

“I’m trying, poppet.”

I swear under my breath, grab the book, and return to the keypad. I’m about to enter the code one more time when the house finally goes silent. Sophie cheers.

“Come on bossy pants.” I climb up from the floor and reach out to take her hand. “I told you everything would go back to normal, didn’t I? We’ve got the lights back. I can charge my phone. Everything is going to be just fine.”

Did I lock the drawer?

“Can we sleep still downstairs like you promised?” she asks.

“Absolutely. It is nice and cosy down there, isn’t it? I can’t wait to get wrapped up in all those duvets.”

I pick her up and plop her down onto the sofa, the tiredness hitting me now. I don’t even know what time it is. After midnight? I feel like I’ve been awake for days. The adrenaline of the last few hours has kept me going, but it’s draining by the second.

I glance over my shoulder before sitting down next to Sophie. The golf club is on the carpet where I dropped it. I pick it back up and turn it over in my sweaty hands. Did I lock the drawer? Did Emily leave the window open on purpose?

“Why did the lights come on, Mummy?” Sophie asks.

I give her a tight smile. “I think the electricity company must have repaired the problem. Everything is right as rain now.”

“Yay!” she says, snuggling into the cushions.

At least she isn’t afraid anymore. The lights coming on has really helped her calm down. Today has been such a headfuck. I feel one step closer to safety now that the lights and the security system is up and running. I want to believe that tonight has been a sequence of strange events, that the reality is we’re just fine. I want to fall asleep and wake up in the morning knowing no harm has come to us.

I kneel down next to Sophie and stroke her hair. Then I find myself humming a tune. A nursery rhyme that she loves. Sophie turns onto her side and her eyes finally close. I lean back on my heels, relieved that the darkness is over now. I can plug in my phone, get back onto the WiFi and start to feel safe again.

I place the golf club down next to me and am about to settle in beside Sophie’s sleeping body when a square object catches my eye. My body reacts before my mind, climbing quickly to my feet and stepping across to the fireplace where there’s a CD case sitting on the mantel.

Peter’s Mix <3

A sharp point jabs into my left arm. Shocked, I sway to the right, swinging my body around, searching for what hurt me.

It all happens so fast.

I see the edge of movement and track it with my eyes, finding a gloved hand holding something long and thin as it retracts away from my body. I’m on my feet in an instant, face to face with the man who has haunted every second of my life since he first invited me into his car.

“Amber.” He says my name like he’s talking to God, like I am the thing he worships. “You’re still so beautiful. I knew you would be.”

I reach down for the golf club but all he has to do is push me and I topple over, collapsing onto the cushions at my feet. The room tilts and shifts like I’m underwater and it’s all reflecting around me. A scream rips from my body, and I hear him laughing in the background.

“What did…?” I mutter, as the room darkens at the edges.

“Don’t fight it, my darling,” he says. “You’ll be just fine. Rest now.”

My last thought is, he injected me with something.

Then I hear the sound of my daughter screaming behind me.