Chapter 9: THEN - The Safe Room

Honey helped me compose the message. She said I had to be clear, that I couldn’t lead him on in any way.

“Boys are really stupid,” she said. “At least they pretend to be. That’s so they can be all like ‘but I didn’t understand what you meant, I can’t read your mind’ blah blah blah.” She made a little puppet out of her hand that mimed along with her.

“Focus, Honey,” I said. “This is about me, not you and Oliver.”

“Right.” Her lip twitched up slightly. “Sorry.”

We were in her bedroom which made the whole thing better. I never got to hang out in Honey’s room because she never let me in. She was kneeling on the bed underneath her Banksy’s ‘Girl With Red Heart’ poster. There was a purple bra slung over a bedpost and a mirror framed with fairy lights on her dressing table. She seemed infinitely cooler than me with her long, caramel-blonde hair and walls covered in photos of her boyfriend and friends. Cinema and concert ticket stubs were Blu-Tacked around her headboard.

I loved these glimpses into her life. She rarely invited her friends to our house because none of them lived on the estate, so I hardly ever met them. I saw boys with long, swoopy fringes that flopped over their eyes and girls with poker straight hair. Bright smiles and white teeth. Skinny jeans and Converse trainers.

“Here,” she said, showing me the phone and pulling me out of my thoughts.

The message read: Thanks for the CD the other day. I don’t think we should go on anymore dates. You’re a lot older and should be seeing girls your own age. Amber

“No kiss?”

She shook her head firmly.

“Shouldn’t it say something about us still being friends?”

“Absolutely not. You’ll never get rid of him.”

I bit my thumbnail and thought about it. The message seemed really cold, but I’d genuinely been afraid after the way he parked up and watched the house. We’d checked back on him an hour later and he’d finally gone, but we’d both had the heebie-jeebies from it. I’d begged Honey not to tell Mum when she came home from work, so since then we’d hung out in her room trying to figure out how to stop Peter from trying to go out with me again.

I sighed. “All right. Send it.”

I closed my eyes tightly as Honey sent the message, my whole body jangling with nerves.

“Done.” She flipped the phone closed and leant back against the headboard. “He should leave you alone now. He might mope around a bit, but he’ll get over it.”

“Thanks,” I said, really meaning it for a change. “I know I was stupid going out with him alone.”

“Yeah, don’t do that again. Seriously. What about the boys at your school?”

“They think I’m a loser.”

Honey rolled her eyes. “That’s because they’re all losers. You’re fine. Don’t stress about it, okay, and don’t see Peter Harlow ever again.”

Just then my phone beeped and I flipped it open. “It’s Peter.”

“Oh shit,” she said. “What does it say?”

I read it aloud for her. “Is this about the kiss? Because I told you I’d take things slow. I said I was a gentleman. So why are you acting like I’m some creep?”

“Wow!” Honey scoffed. “What a big baby who can’t take rejection.”

“There’s another message.” My scalp prickled as message after message came through startlingly fast. “I… I can’t keep up with them.”

“Let me see.”

I angled the phone so we could both see the screen. With each new message, I felt more and more sick.

The second date is going 2 b epic. Just wait.

We can see a movie.

Maybe dinner?

Honestly, ur choice, whatever u want. U no I have money, right? I can treat u.

Amber?

My mum likes u. She thinks we’d be gud together.

U there?

Don’t ignore me.

C’mon.

I thought u were one of the good ones. Was I wrong?

I don’t want to be wrong about u. I really like u and I don’t say that about many girls. U have to understand how rare this is.

After I made you that mix CD? Took me hours.

I can’t get those back, Amber.

Fkin time waster.

Bitch. Fkin bitch.

ANSWER ME!

Honey recoiled from the messages, her face pale. “Oh my God. This isn’t right. That’s… that’s not how boys usually behave, I don’t…” She rubbed her temples like she didn’t know how to process what was happening.

Tears pricked my eyes as more messages kept coming through. “He won’t stop. He’s insane.”

Then my phone started vibrating and I saw that he was calling me. I dropped it onto the bedspread.

“Do not answer that,” Honey warned.

“Don’t worry. I won’t!”

We sat there staring at the phone until it finally stopped vibrating. After the call ended, the messages resumed.

Pick up.

I said, pick up! The least u owe me is an explanation.

“Should I respond and tell him to stop?” I suggested.

Honey, worked up now, grabbed the phone and typed something.

“What are you doing?” I reached for the phone, but she twisted her body away from me. “Don’t make it worse!”

“I won’t.” She passed it back.

I read Honey’s response.

Stay the fuck away from me. Stop contacting me now or I’m telling your mum what a big fat creep you are.

“Jesus, Honey.” I smacked her arm. I was sweating. “He’s not going to like that.”

I covered my hand with my mouth, watching more messages come through.

I don’t like that language, Amber. Ur better than that.

I don’t really think ur a bitch. I still like you.

I know you like me.

I saw the way u looked at me. No other girl ever looked at me like that.

Answer the phone, I want 2 talk. Is it ur tart sister? Is she stopping you from answering?

“Yes, I am, you limp-dicked tosser,” Honey said to the screen.

The phone rang twice in a row. We just sat there watching the phone vibrate.

Honey shook her head. “This isn’t normal. We need to tell Mum and Dad.”

I stared at the phone as it started to vibrate again, a sense of dread washing over me. Deep down I knew she was right, but I didn’t want it to be real, and telling Mum and Dad made it real. I shoved the phone under Honey’s pillow so I couldn’t see or hear it anymore.

“That’s not going to make it go away,” she said.

“I’m not thick,” I snapped.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me,” she said, sarcastically. Then she sighed. “Come on. We have to tell them.” She grabbed the phone again and held it up. There was another missed call and two more text messages. Then she grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the bed.

I dragged my feet at first, sullenly slowing us down. But it made no difference. Our house was so tiny that a short trip down the stairs and into the living room took just seconds. We found Dad reading the newspaper while Mum had a Stephen King book open. Neither of them looked up when we entered. Honey had to clear her throat. Then she shoved me into the centre of the room. I stood there feeling like a fish out of water, glaring at my sister.

Dad folded the newspaper up and lowered his reading glasses. “What’s going on with you two? You’re not fighting over dolls again are you?”

Honey protested. “Dad, how old do you think we are?”

“I swear to God, Honey, you and your sister are always arguing over some doll,” he said.

“That was the Sindy she ruined!” Honey exclaimed.

Mum raised her hand. “Enough!” Her gaze found me and a thin line appeared between her eyebrows. “I want to hear from Amber. Are you all right, love? You’re very pale.”

My phone started vibrating again and I removed it from my jeans pocket.

“One of your friends calling?” Mum asked.

I shook my head. “He won’t leave me alone.”

Dad sat up straighter then, his checked shirt bulging at the buttons. “Who?”

I placed my head in my hands and started to cry, letting the phone drop onto the threadbare carpet. Then Mum rushed to my side, her arm wrapping around my shoulders. Through my sobs, I heard her asking Honey what was wrong and Honey telling them everything.

“Show me the messages,” Mum said, holding out my phone.

I went into my inbox and then passed her the phone. She and dad leaned over it, their eyeballs flitting from left to right. I felt so stupid, like a little kid who’d made mistake after mistake. I thought they’d scream at me, but they were quiet.

“And this is Peter? Mary’s boy?” Mum asked.

I nodded.

The phone started ringing again and Dad snatched it up. I gasped and tried to grab it back but was too slow.

“Peter?” he asked firmly. “This is David Ellis, Amber’s father. I hear the two of you went on a date?”

There was a pause as Peter, I assume, answered him.

“That’s never happening again. You’re too old for my daughter, you understand?” Another pause. “I don’t think that’s appropriate. No, you listen to me. Listen to me, Peter, you’re not to see her ever again. I’ve read the disgusting messages you’ve sent her. Stop doing that. I said, stop.”

I held my breath. Dad’s voice ricocheted around the room.

“If you come anywhere near my daughter again or even send her a message, you’ll be seeing me. Understand? It’s only out of respect for your mother’s friendship with my wife that I’m not already there. Leave Amber alone! Understand? Good.”

Dad hung up. I took the phone from him with shaking hands.

“Well done, David,” Mum said. Then she squeezed my shoulder. “You won’t be hearing from him again. Not if he knows what’s good for him.”

“Dad you can’t… you…” I started, in a tiny mouselike voice. “You can’t get into a fight.”

He stepped closer and hugged me. “There’s no need for that. He just needed a warning.”

“I’m sorry I lied,” I said, the tears coming again.

“Oh give me a break, waterworks,” Honey said from the doorway.

Mum shushed her.

I was trembling all over, partly from relief and also from shame. My first real date with a boy and it had ended like this.

“No more lying,” Dad said. “That goes for the both of you. No more sneaking around with boys. It’s not safe out there. I wish it was, but it isn’t. Please, girls, be sensible. Okay?”

I didn’t know what sensible was anymore. Before I thought it meant looking before crossing the road or calling an ambulance if there was an accident. But I was beginning to feel like it meant never leaving the house or at least never accepting a date from a boy who liked me.