Chapter 13 - A Million Rainbows

Kyle’s request to call tonight had been way too general. It was nine-thirty, and I was sitting in my bed, just staring at my phone. I had been staring at it since Charlie went to sleep an hour ago. At the time, it had seemed too early to call. Now, I was worried it was too late.

I was a rigid, nervous wreck and had fallen too far into my anxiety-ridden shell to talk myself into making the call now. I couldn’t do it.

With a heavy sigh, I folded over my knees, pulling them in and hugging them, cursing at myself, because I really wanted to talk to Kyle.

My phone vibrated in my hand. I lifted my head, flipping it open to a text message from Kyle.

It just said, Call me.

I stared around my dark room, overthinking again, wondering if I should give it a minute. But if I didn’t call now, I never would. I took a deep breath and hit call.

“Dover.” Kyle’s phone voice was nice. He sounded older, more subdued or something. Maybe he was tired.

“Hey, Kyle,” I said, taking a nervous breath and releasing it away from the phone.

“Hey, I didn’t think I was going to hear from you.”

“Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t sure when to call.”

Kyle laughed. “Anytime. You could have called anytime. I’ve been waiting for your call all day.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said. “Was the phone card not obvious enough?”

I was smiling, but he couldn’t see it, and the line went quiet.

“So I have this list,” said Kyle.

“A list?”

“Yeah, I wrote down a bunch of stuff. Topics and questions and things. I’m just going to throw them out randomly if there’s a lull, okay?”

That sounded like a great idea. “Okay. So does that mean I don’t have to worry about awkward silences?”

“No. I didn’t get you enough minutes for awkward silences. We’ve got to make them count.”

I blew a sigh of relief into the phone.

Kyle laughed. “Okay, here’s the first one because you’re already being quiet. What’s your favorite color?”

“That’s on the list?”

“Yes, the quality of the questions varies. Don’t judge the list.”

“Sorry. I’m not judging. I like the list. Um … so my favorite color is probably pink.”

“Pink? You never wear pink.”

“Well, I don’t really have a favorite color, and Charlie is so passionate about pink. It rubs off.”

Kyle laughed. “Okay. Maybe pink is now my favorite color too.”

“Ha. Then I want to see you coming into school sporting some pink Nikes.” That was supposed to be a joke, but it wasn’t even funny; Kyle would have absolutely no problem pulling off pink Nikes.

“Yeah. Okay. Maybe. Pink’s sort of catching on with us dudes, you know?”

I smiled, sliding into my bed. My room was chilly, and I pulled the blankets to my chin. “So where are you right now?”

“I’m in the game room. Watching TV.”

“Ah, yes, your beautiful house. I loved your house.”

“You did?”

“Oh my god, yes.” I closed my eyes, inhaling all the lovely memories. “You have a wonderful house, Kyle.”

He laughed. “I guess. I need to invite you over again sometime.”

That idea made me nervous, so I ignored it. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, of course.”

I hesitated, reconsidering my question.

“Are you going to ask me, or should I draw from my list?”

“Yes, sorry,” I said. “I just feel like it might be kind of rude because it’s about money.”

“It’s fine. Just ask.”

“Okay, I was just wondering what your parents do for jobs? I’m always curious how people manage to own such beautiful homes.”

“Uh, well, my mom owns a small chain of bridal shops across New England, called Sue’s Bridal. She started that about ten years ago, shortly after the divorce. Before that, she was a real estate agent. And, uh, my dad’s a trauma surgeon over at Barry Memorial. It’s a pretty demanding job. He bought the house, but he never really spent much time in it. The ol’ Catch-22. You know?”

“Yeah, that sucks.”

“Yeah,” said Kyle, falling quiet and nearly letting an awkward pause in. My brain was scrambling for a topic when he asked, “So where are you right now?”

“I’m in my room. Mine and Charlie’s. We share.”

“Is that why you’re whispering?”

I didn’t realize I was. “Yeah. And my mom,” I said, knowing right away I had given him a reason to ask about her. And the way he uncomfortably cleared his throat told me he was about to say something. “Kyle, I don’t want to talk about my mom.”

“Okay. Yeah, no problem.”

I was worrying that I’d been too rude, and I was also worrying about what to say next, but Kyle and his list came through.

“Your favorite movie?”

The quality of the questions wasn’t improving, but I was still grateful for them. “I have a lot of favorite movies, but I’ll go with The Shining since it’s my favorite book—oh hey, wait, you never told me what you thought about it?”

There was a pause on Kyle’s end.

“Kyle, I don’t have a list. You’re gonna have to talk.”

He laughed, easing my nerves. “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t bring up The Shining,” he said. “I never finished it.”

“So you didn’t like it? How far did you get?”

“Uh … I stopped at the Inside Room 217 chapter.”

I was smiling. “That’s the old lady scene, huh?”

“Yeah, and that shit is f-ing scary,” he said, his voice rising defensively. “And you know my house is already haunted. There was no way I was gonna deal with that shit. I put it in the freezer like they do in Friends.”

“The book is in your freezer?”

“Yes. Up here with me. In the bar fridge. I should probably move it downstairs to the kitchen to be safe.”

“That’s a library book. You’ve got to return that,” I said, the sheer audacity catching me up. I re-thought. “Or are there different rules for rich kids?”

“Rich kid? Is that what you think of me?”

Oh, no. “Um …” I was shaking my head at myself, not knowing why I said that. “Um … no … Sorry,” I said, stumbling, completely blanking out.

“Dog or cat?”

“What?”

“This or that. Dog or cat? What would you rather?”

“Dog. And a cat. I like them both.” I was so thankful he was allowing me to move past the rich kid comment.

“I’m pretty sure choosing both would be considered cheating in the This or That rulebook,” said Kyle.

“Then dog, I guess. What about you?”

“I’m with you on dog.” Kyle paused for just a second. “Day or Night?”

“Night.”

“Why night?”

“Um … because it’s quiet. And no one expects anything of you. You can just be.”

“That was kind of deep,” said Kyle with a laugh. He went on. “Ice cream or frozen yogurt?”

“They’re too similar. I’d eat them both.”

“Okay. Cake or pie?”

“What the hell? Why would I choose between these things?”

“Well, I know you like to eat.”

“Yeah,” I said. I wasn’t going to apologize for that.

He laughed. “Okay. How about dancing or singing?”

“Both. Alone in my room with no one watching.”

“Bree, you’re awful at this game. You’re supposed to pick one.”

“Sorry.”

“No. That’s okay. Easygoing is good.”

I had the sinking suspicion he was comparing me to Lyndsay when he said that.

“Hey,” I said. “Is the rest of the list This or That questions?”

“Uh nope. They’re not. Because you’re tired of them. Let me look for something better.” He clicked his tongue. “No. I’ll skip that one. You’re right, this list is pretty lame.”

“What? What was it?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah. I think so. I don’t know.”

“Okay. I’ll ask, but if you don’t want to answer just say pass.”

“Okay.” Now I was regretting my push for the question.

Kyle made a funny, breathy sound with his mouth, and I imagined he was blowing his cheeks out. “What’s your biggest fear?”

He had hesitated because he knew it was a big question. But I knew Kyle well enough by now to know he wouldn’t have asked it if he thought he was pointing a gun at me. And this one was fully loaded.

My alarm clock was casting a light on the ceiling. A pinpoint of red, reflecting off the chrome light fixture above me. Everything else dissolved.

The walls and the darkness were closing in.

I couldn’t breathe …

“Hey, Bree,” said Kyle, pulling me back. “Forget about that. I’m just going to move on, okay?” I nodded into the phone. Thankfully, Kyle kept talking. “I have a really obnoxious, rich kid This or That question on here. Do you want to hear it?”

“Sure?” I said, finding a smile.

“Okay. I actually wrote this down. And you’re going to totally judge me for it. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

“Okay. Armani or Gucci?”

I laughed, and I did roll my eyes a little. “Is that because of the glasses?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of an inside joke I have with this girl Brianna Dover.”

“An inside joke with Kyle Roberts,” I said. “Kind of crazy.”

“It’s not crazy. Why is that crazy?”

I shrugged, leaving the silence to sit between us. What did he want me to say? It seemed so obvious, and I didn’t feel like running down a list of all the reasons he should hang up.

“Bree, I’m going to tell you why it’s not crazy.”

“Okay?” I was surprised he actually had an answer ready.

“Look. Me and you. We aren’t as different as you think we are. I mean, none of this is mine. I don’t have a house. I don’t have a job or money. That’s all my dad’s. And he’s not even going to pay for my schooling unless I go to medical school like him. So …”

“He wants you to be a doctor?”

“Yep. My brother followed in his footsteps. And for some reason, he expects me to do the same. Even though I’ve never, not once, expressed any interest in being a doctor. I just don’t see that life for me.”

“So what do you want to do?”

Kyle paused for a second. “I don’t know. I kind of have no idea what I want to do.” He let a long, wearisome sigh filter through the phone.

“So we’re the same?” I said. “Both living the life our parents made. Both confused and scared about our futures?”

“Yeah, we’re the same.”

We weren’t the same. Kyle was perfect in nearly every way, and he kept proving that.

“Thanks, Kyle,” I said because he almost had me believing it.

For the next half-hour, he continued to be perfect, rescuing me from all the awkward silences, listening to everything I said like it mattered, even starting into a Cardi B song—“I Like It”—when his list ran out.

“Hey, Bree,” he said, breaking into a lull, “we’re going to have to figure this phone thing out because I would like to keep talking to you, but I think your minutes are running low.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, I guess I should probably let you go.”

“Yeah, so …” He cleared his throat. “Uh … do you guys want to come over tomorrow? After school? You and Charlie? We can hang out?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, hating my answer. “I want to, but I’ve got a lot of schoolwork this week. I should probably try to focus on that.”

“Okay. Yeah. Sure.”

“What about Friday?” That was dumb. Kyle probably had a fully booked social life on the weekends. “I mean, if you don’t already have plans.”

“Uh, well, Ryan has a game on Friday. What about Saturday? Unless you want to come to the game?”

Football games. Being around that crowd on a Friday night. I had never done it once in my whole high school career. It sounded like fun, but it also sounded very peer-heavy.

“Hey, Bree,” said Kyle, cutting into the dead air.

“Sorry, I’m thinking.”

“Hey, so we’ll lock in Saturday,” he said, “and we can talk about Friday if you want to go. It’s an away game, so not many kids from school come.”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds good. I’ll let you know.”

“But we’re on for Saturday?”

“Yeah. If you’re okay with Charlie coming.”

“What’s Charlie’s favorite food?”

I smiled. “She likes anything.”

“So, pizza?”

“Yeah, pizza’s good.”

“Okay. I’ll grab a pizza. And I’ll find a way to talk to you this week. Don’t be surprised if you see me at the library after school. Probably Thursday.”

“To return The Shining?”

“No, I want to finish reading it first.”

I really felt this was a rich kid privilege. “You really need to return it.”

Kyle laughed. “Okay, I’ll finish it this week and I’ll return it on Thursday. I’ll have a report for you. Okay?”

“Okay. Bye, Kyle.”

“Bye, Bree.”