Chapter 35 - A Million Rainbows

I stood rigidly next to Sue by the stove. Kyle was greeting a group at the door.

It was the first time we’d really hung out with kids from school as a couple, and I didn’t even know who would be at this party.

Since Mom was likely going to be celebrating New Year’s at the bar, I had no choice but to bring Charlie, and she sat beside me at the kitchen island eating the taco dinner Sue had made for her.

“Hey, Bree,” said Kyle, breaking from the small group that had entered.

The crowd dispersed from the entryway, infiltrating the house, with some kids heading toward the garage and upstairs, and some lingering in the kitchen to graze on the many snack platters Sue had set out.

Kyle had a girl named Casey at his side. I knew Casey from school. She was a cute brunette with great boobs and a friendly smile. She was both in gym class and in English with me.

Kyle put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, this is Ryan’s girlfriend, Casey. Casey works at Cinnabon in the mall. She’s a talented dancer, and she’s going to be attending Juilliard in the fall,” he said, all suave and debonair.

Casey rolled her eyes at him. But she laughed. “Oh my god, Kyle, I haven’t even auditioned yet. You are jinxing me.” Casey’s voice was sweet and bubbly, bringing her cute factor up a notch.

“Nah,” said Kyle. “Juilliard will be begging you to attend.” He squeezed me to his side. “Casey, this is my girlfriend, Bree. Bree volunteers at Sunrise Hill here in town. She’s the top of the class, and she’s great at knitting.” He tugged on the scarf he was wearing.

Kyle had wrapped my ugly, blue, acrylic scarf around his neck, showcasing to everyone just how awful I was at crocheting. But the poorly constructed homemade scarf clashed so badly with his neat and tidy, perfectly curated, mall outfit, that it made me laugh every time I looked at him.

He shot me a wink before leaving me with Casey.

“What kind of dance?” I asked her, suddenly feeling completely boring and talentless.

“Contemporary ballet, mostly. It’s a hybrid of ballet and modern,” she explained. “Dancing is my life, but don’t listen to Kyle. I doubt I’m getting into Juilliard.”

“Well, that sounds amazing to me. I dance exclusively in my room, so …”

Casey had that fresh, glistening, glowing kind of skin like she moisturized. And her cheeks were red and cheery when she smiled. “Thanks,” she said. She pulled out the stool next to Charlie and sat down. “So, you and Kyle … tell me, how did that happen?”

Sue was at Charlie’s side, helping her get cleaned up. “Bree, hon, we’re going to go watch a movie,” she said, kindly giving me that minute so I didn’t have to answer questions about Kyle in front of her.

“Yeah, thanks, Sue.”

Charlie looked so tired. I patted the top of her head as she wiggled out of her stool and left with Sue.

I turned back to Casey. “I don’t know how it happened. We just started talking, I guess.” This was the question on everybody’s mind. I knew it was, but I didn’t have the answer to it. That no one else understood it made me wonder if Kyle, in fact, was delusional after all.

“We all thought Lyndsay had him locked down,” said Casey. “They were pretty tight there for a while.”

I nodded because that’s how I always used to see Kyle and Lyndsay, too. I offered her my go-to answer—a small shrug—because I didn’t have a better one for her.

Sadie, the girl who had helped me in the bathroom, was here, and she slid over to Casey’s side, inserting herself into our conversation. “Are you guys talking about Lyndsay?”

“I was just trying to figure out the magic formula Bree used to bewitch Kyle,” said Casey.

Sadie laughed. She pulled her long dark hair over one shoulder, and leaned, resting her elbows on the top of the kitchen island, tightening our circle. “I hear Lyndsay’s kind of lost it,” she whispered. “Hit rock bottom. The rumor is she’s been emptying her parents' medicine cabinet … And Mrs. Allen caught her with a vodka-filled water bottle. She might even get suspended.”

“Shit, really?” I asked, that news pummeling me with guilt.

I let my worries stew, thinking Lyndsay’s collapse might have something to do with me interfering with her life like she’d said. I hated Lyndsay, but I hadn’t meant to kick her down a mountain.

“Yeah. Hey,” said Sadie, “your face looks better, at least. Did you ever report that?”

I touched my cheek. I was wearing a good, thick layer of makeup, hiding the remainder of the bruise and the small red patch where the scab had finally scrubbed off. “No,” I said, now glad that I hadn’t, not wanting to add to Lyndsay’s troubles.

“What happened to your face?” asked Casey, looking between the two of us with curiosity.

Sadie went into the story for me, telling Casey how she found me clobbered in the bathroom.

“Damn, I thought she was all talk,” said Casey. She was in gym class with me, so she’d been witness to the locker room fun over the past few weeks. “Well, I guess not all talk,” she added, probably remembering the shirt, and the pants, and the bra …

“She’s strung out,” said Sadie. “Completely lost it. I’ve never seen her this bad before.”

I let the news of Lyndsay sit and pester for a second. I hesitated with my question because I didn’t really want to know if my fears were founded.

But, I guess, it was better to face the truth. “Hey, do you guys think it’s because of Kyle? Or is there something else going on?”

Sadie, who seemed to know Lyndsay better, answered, “No, not completely. I’ve known Kyle and Lyndsay since forever. Lyndsay’s always been on the edge of disaster. But I think he kind of kept her together, you know?”

I nodded, understanding that completely. Kyle was good at that. He was good at keeping people together. I puffed out my cheeks, blowing a foul stream of guilt across the granite countertop.

“Bree,” said Sadie, noticing my disquiet, “she cheated on him like five times.”

“Wait, is that true?” I asked. If it were true, Kyle didn’t know. Unless he had kept it to himself.

“Yeah, it was mostly when they were broken up, but she never told him about these other guys. And well, Kyle, he’s so … Well, you know Kyle … Everybody agrees she was no good for him. I was glad when I heard about the two of you.”

“You were?” I was surprised there had been someone out there secretly rooting for me.

Sadie nodded and Casey chimed in, “Me too. God, he’s best friends with Ryan. I would have been stuck with Lyndsay tonight.” A small shudder shook her shoulders. She then glanced around the empty kitchen, the rest of the party, having moved upstairs. “Speaking of Ryan, I’m gonna go find him.”

She got up, and we all started in the direction of the garage.

The doorbell rang a second later. Neither Kyle nor Sue was in the kitchen. I stalled, letting Sadie and Casey go up without me. “Dammit,” I muttered, knowing I would have to answer it.

I dropped my shoulders and sulked over to the door. Maybe it would be Emily since I had invited her—nope.

My hand was on the knob, but, thankfully, Kyle was quick, and his hand was on my shoulder as I opened the door.

“Hey, guys, the party’s upstairs,” he said, greeting two girls, Samantha and Hayley, from our senior class.

They said hi to Kyle and, without further direction, the girls scurried to the garage, like they knew exactly where to go. This obviously wasn’t their first party at the Roberts’ residence.

“Look at us,” said Kyle. “We’re like a proper couple, greeting guests together and everything.”

His grin was big. He loved people and parties, and he was good at it—he was in his zone.

Oh no.

This would be the downside to being with Kyle—I had found his flaw.

“It’s the most nerve-racking thing I’ve ever done,” I said with a laugh.

“What, you don’t want to be seen with me?” said Kyle, sporting an exaggerated pout on par with the best of Charlie’s.

I tried to push him, but he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into a hug. My stocking feet sliding across the smooth flooring ensured I had no choice but to yield. He rocked me in his arms, moving me in a slow dance, singing along with the song that was drifting down from upstairs.

“You can sing,” I said into his ear. His voice was actually nice.

“Ha, I can’t sing.” Kyle tilted me back, throwing me into a slight dip as he kissed my lips.

The doorbell chimed again, and I hurriedly pushed out of his arms because we were right in front of a window.

Kyle greeted his friend Matt. I said, “Hi” because I knew Matt from when he drove us to the football game. Kyle was about to follow him upstairs, pulling me with him.

I tugged on his hand to stop him. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

Kyle took note of my somber tone and led me to an empty room just off the kitchen for privacy.

It was a spacious living room. The section near the door where we entered was used for dining, and there was a fancy, glass dining table, complete with high-backed upholstered chairs. The table was positioned in front of a wall of large windows that, during the day, looked out to the river that sat at the back of the property. It was a beautiful spot at sunset.

An elegant white sofa and loveseat were positioned on the other side of the large room. A baby grand sat in the corner. It was a piano that nobody played, though Kyle said he took lessons when he was little.

I sat down on one of the velvety sofas, dreamily rubbing my palms over the soft fabric. “You know, sometimes I just pretend this is my house,” I whispered. The room was dark, with only one dimly lit lamp, and it seemed like I was supposed to whisper.

Kyle laughed. “It could be your house. Just stay. We would never ask you to leave.”

I let myself imagine that for a second, closing my eyes with a smile.

Kyle patted my knee. “So what’s up?”

I placed my hands between my thighs, feeling nervous, not really knowing what I wanted to say or how I should say it. “Hey, so Casey and Sadie were telling me about Lyndsay. About how she isn’t doing so well?” It was a question because I assumed he might know something about this already.

Kyle nodded, confirming my suspicions. “Yeah, I’ve heard some stuff.”

“I guess it’s pretty bad?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know all the details, but that’s what I’ve heard.”

I pressed at my knuckles. “So I know this is awkward to ask, but I just wanted to let you know that it’d be okay with me if you talked to her. Maybe check on her again. Just to see she’s okay.”

“You want me to talk to Lyndsay?” Kyle looked confused.

“Yeah, I just can’t stand seeing someone break down because of me.”

Kyle let out a weary sigh. “It’s not because of you.” He leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees, pulling at the back of his hair. “Look,” he said, straightening again, “since you brought it up, I’ll tell you. I didn’t tell you before because it’s not really my place.” He cleared his throat. “The drinking and the pills with Lyndsay … it’s not a new thing. Her parents are very strict. They’re always on her about her grades and everything. It’s not the first time she’s used something to cope. It has nothing to do with you. She’s taking it out on you because it’s easy.”

“She’s taking it out on me because I stole her Kyle,” I said.

Kyle laughed, but he didn’t sound happy. “Bree, this is not your fault. It’s my fault. I should have broken up with her a long time ago. I’ve known for a while that me and Lyndsay weren’t going to make it past high school. I should have told her sooner. She thinks you broke us up, but I was already out long before me and you met this year. And I’m sorry about all this. I am. But I don’t know what I can do.”

“So you don’t think talking to her would help?” I asked.

“I think talking to her would make her think I wanted to get back with her.”

“Yeah, okay. Never mind. It was stupid.”

Kyle sighed, meeting my gaze. The patience he was summoning for me was really sweet and appreciated on my part. “You really want me to talk to her?”

“I just want you to check on her.”

He drew in a long breath. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it.”

We both turned when Sue and Charlie came through the door. They were coming from the foyer, where a flight of stairs led to the rest of the house.

I got up. “Hey, Charlie.”

“She wanted to come say goodnight,” said Sue.

Sue looked exhausted. She had cooked a feast for the guest tonight, so she likely was.

“Hey, thanks so much,” I said. “I can put her to bed.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“All right.” Sue turned to go back upstairs. “Ya’ll be good, Kyle,” she called over her shoulder. “I saw that six-pack Ryan was holding. He doesn’t drive home tonight, ya hear me?”

“Right. Yep,” said Kyle.

Charlie tugged on my arm. “Bree, will you sleep with me?”

I knelt beside her. “Sure, I can lay down with you for a few minutes.”

Charlie jumped forward, giving me a hug.

I brushed the back of her hair. “Hey, and guess what?”

She pulled away with a quiet yawn. “What?”

“You get to sleep in a princess bed tonight.”

I woke up to Kyle snuggling up beside me in the bed.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“It’s five of.”

I rolled over to face him. Charlie was sound asleep on her side of the bed. We were in their beautiful guest room. “Sorry, she didn’t want me to leave her. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I can come back out.”

“No. This is okay,” said Kyle. He had a countdown displayed on his phone, and he held it up so we could watch it.

“Did Emily ever show up?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s here.”

“Oh shit, she’s gonna kill me.”

“I don’t think so,” said Kyle with a sly grin.

“What?”

“You know my friend Jason?”

“Jason Scott?” I knew Jason from math, and also because he was on the basketball team with Kyle.

“Yeah, I kind of introduced them tonight. They totally hit it off. They’ve been glued to each other all night.”

“What? Really? How? Why?”

Kyle laughed. “Uh, well, he saw me going through her Instagram the other day and started asking about her.”

“Oh my god, you didn’t tell me about that!”

“I forgot until today when she showed up.”

My smile was big. I wanted to get up and go talk to Emily about it, but it sounded like she was busy at the moment.

Kyle and I watched the countdown on the screen for a second. “I’m pretty excited about starting out a year with you, Dover.”

“Yeah,” I said with a smile that wouldn’t stop stretching. “You make me feel optimistic, Kyle. I don’t think I’ve ever started a year off feeling optimistic.”

“You should be optimistic. This is going to be a great year.”

“It’s going to be a scary year and a sad year,” I said, my smile tightening apprehensively.

Kyle laughed. “I thought you said you were being optimistic?”

“I think there are levels.”

“Levels of optimism?” asked Kyle.

“Yeah, this gloomy, sad level is my level. I’m never going to be quite as high as you, but I’m trying.”

“So what are you being so optimistic about?” Kyle asked, his grin, a funny mix of confusion and mirth.

“I think there’s hope,” I said tentatively. I took in a deep breath, holding it in for a second before releasing it. “It doesn’t feel like it. The future is still very blurry … But I mean, I’m lying in a princess bed next to my very own prince. So it’s hard not to believe in fairy tales at this very moment.”

The phone vibrated, alerting us to the last ten seconds.

We counted them down together. “Ten, nine, eight, seven …” Kyle tucked his arm under me, pulling me next to him. “Four, three, two, one!”

Together, we shouted, “Happy New Year!” as the roar from the much louder crowd in the game room filtered down the hall.

Kyle pulled me close and into a kiss. “I love you, Bree,” he said into my ear as he hugged me. “Do you know that?”

I squeezed him to me, kissing his cheek, my eyes flooding with happy tears. “Yeah, I know that,” I said. “I love you too.”