Chapter 41 - A Million Rainbows

Kyle’s dad bought me a plane ticket so I could go to California with them and help Kyle get situated. When I asked Kyle about it, he said, “Well, my dad’s gonna have to get used to spending money on plane tickets.”

I stayed at his house, and we left from Boston in the early morning before dawn.

I was so jealous when I saw Kyle’s dorm—an actual college dorm room.

It was small, with two twin beds and crappy, dated furniture. It wasn’t fit for the golden Kyle, but I was sure Kyle would find a way to make the room feel okay about that.

After we’d moved all his luggage from the rental car, Kyle put an arm around me, then straight to his parents’ face he said, “So guys, Bree and I are going to hang out for a bit.”

I didn’t even know what he meant by that, but the direct, no-bullshit way he said it made me blush.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” said Mitch.

Kyle nodded.

Sue laughed. “We’ll go get some lunch.”

Kyle pulled me into a tight hug as the door closed. He was silent for a second, then his quiet sobs filled the empty room. “Ah, shit …” he muttered next to my ear, his body trembling against mine. “I don’t know if I can go through with this.”

I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah, you can. I want you to.”

He pulled me tighter, shaking his head.

I pushed out of his arms just enough to look at him, a stream of tears pouring from both of our eyes. “Look at this place. It’s an actual college. I’m so jealous.” Kyle’s dimples pinched oh-so-slightly, and I realized how much I was going to miss that. “Do it for both of us. Okay?”

He nodded, taking in a deep breath, trying to compose himself, but the tears continued to pour from his eyes. “Bree, I want you to know how much I love you. That shit-ass, long plane ride. Four ridiculous years apart. Nothing is going to change that for me. You need to know that. I can’t have you leaving here today if you don’t believe that.”

“Yeah, I know you do.” I wrapped my fingers around his neck, leaning my forehead against his. “And I love you just as much.”

Kyle pulled me into another hug. We were both quiet, holding onto each other, thinking the same thing: four years was too long.

Not too long that we couldn’t keep loving each other. I had no doubts about being able to love Kyle for that long. I could go on loving Kyle for eternity.

But four years apart. Not having him there to kiss or hold when I wanted to … He would no longer be just a car ride away. And I was now regretting every second I hadn’t spent with him this past year.

I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight, trying not to focus on how impossibly hard it was going to be.

Kyle took my hand and pulled me over to a bed. We sat on the edge, our hands locked. “Bree, you’re the love of my life. I want a lifetime with you. Four years is nothing compared to what we’re going to have. Okay?”

“A lifetime with Kyle Roberts.” I sighed. “Do you know how dreamy that sounds?”

He leaned into me with a kiss, reminding me just how lucky I was to have even a moment with him.

“So let’s focus on that,” said Kyle. “I’m going to do what I need to do here, but you are endgame for me. I am committed to that, I promise.”

“Yeah, I know. Me too.” I pulled my shoulders in. “I’m just going to miss you, that’s all.”

Kyle reached for me, wrapping both arms around me. He squeezed me to his chest. “Yeah, I’m going to miss you, too.”

He pressed his teary lips to mine, pulling me closer. His hands, running up my back, down my sides, roaming freely wherever they pleased because I was all his.

“Dammit it,” said Kyle with a small laugh. “I wish I knew when that asshole was getting here.” He gestured toward the other bed.

“Yeah, maybe you can get an apartment next year?”

Kyle nuzzled a kiss to the side of my neck. “Yes, I’m going to get an apartment next year.”

He pushed me over onto the bed, rolling on top of me. The kisses, the warmth, the good … it was all too much, and we both started crying again.

“Why don’t we talk about something happy,” I said. “I don’t want our last day together to be so sad.”

Kyle rolled onto his side. “This is not our last day together.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Okay, let’s talk about our future.”

“Yeah, the future where I’m going to be married to the handsome Dr. Roberts.”

Kyle laughed. “Doctor? Do you have some plans for me I don’t know about?”

I studied Kyle for a second, getting lost in his beauty like usual. “No. I just think you’d make a great doctor, that’s all.”

“You do?” He was smiling.

“Yeah. And hey, Charlie will be older in four years … So when it comes time to make that decision … Well, I want you to know that I’d be willing to alter my plans for you. I mean, this California sun is kind of nice.”

Kyle was quiet for a second. “I have been thinking about it. Pediatrics probably.”

I knew he had been. He had seemed a lot less opposed to the idea the last few times it had come up. I nodded my approval.

Kyle squinted playfully, his smile stretching. “So you’d marry me?”

My eyes rolled slightly. “Come on, Kyle. Yes, of course, I’d marry you.” I laughed, and then a worried thought hit. “I don’t want kids, though.”

“Wait. What? You don’t want kids? Are you serious?”

Oh no. He obviously did. I took a second to think about it. Kyle would be an amazing father. Maybe I’d change my mind someday … “I don’t right now,” I said. “And I’m not sure I can promise I’ll change my mind. Is that a deal-breaker for you? Because if it is, I’ll think about it. I just …”

Kyle propped onto his elbows. “Uh … nope. Not a deal-breaker. Bree, you’d be hard-pressed to find a deal-breaker when it comes to you. I want what you want. Babies. No babies. A thousand cats … whatever.”

I laughed. “A thousand cats?”

“Yeah, we’ll be like that Disney movie.”

“What Disney movie?”

“The one with all the dogs,” he said, his eyes narrow and indignant like he’d been so clear.

He was talking about 101 Dalmatians, I think. “That’s right. We agree on dogs, don’t we? We both like dogs.”

“Yeah, Dover. We agree on a lot of stuff. You and me, we are going to be great together. And you’re kind of easy to persuade, so …”

I wrinkled my nose, holding back a big smile. “Am I?”

“Yeah.” He touched the tip of my nose. “Let’s see, in one year I got you to go out with me … uh, kiss me … fall in love with me …” He popped his lips. “And a couple of other things, I guess, I don’t need to mention.” He was smirking.

“Like any of that was hard.” I shook my head, my smile, taking over my tears for a moment. “But you’re right.”

“Of course, I’m right. But what about?”

“You’re right that we’ll be great. Because you’re great.” I looked Kyle over for a second, rethinking. “Actually, you’re kind of a dream, Kyle. An absolute dream.”

He leaned into me, pressing a kiss to my lips. “Right back at you, Dover.”

Kyle rested back on his elbow and held up his hand to me, sticking his small pinky finger into the air.

“What are you doing?”

“I want you to pinky promise something.”

I laughed. “Pinky promise? What are we, five?”

“Yeah, let’s be five for a second.”

I hooked his pinky with a smile.

Kyle tapped the leather bands on our wrists. The matching ones I had gotten for his birthday. “Now and forever, right?”

I met his gaze. There was not a doubt in my mind. “Yeah,” I said. “Now and forever.”