Epilogue: Astoria - Bound to Ruin
By S.E. Berkeley
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, SOUTHERN DELORNIA
The black waters and golden forest of my soul are at peace in my dream. I sit on a large flat rock as the dark waves gently lap at it. The billowing skirts of my white silk dress are fanned around me, and I lean back on my hands with my toes resting in the water. No oily sheen taints the waves, no hissing darkness lurking. It has returned to how it once was when Jinx first brought me here as a small child.
The sun is warm, and I tilt my head back to feel its healing rays upon my face. A wind rustles the golden leaves with their dancing flames. The forest that lines the rocky beach is lush, the roots winding within the cracks to gently drink the water. In the distance, a gentle rain replenishes the lake.
I am no longer alone. My hair settles around my shoulders, and I turn to my right. Jinx lounges on the warmed flat rock, her large blue eyes closed. Her demon form dwarfs me, and her two remaining tails flick lazily. The midnight blue of her leopard and tiger markings shimmers in the light. Scarring leaves bare strips along that side, but other than that she is healthy, her remaining three legs relaxed.
I scratch the bridge of her nose towards the flat top of her head before sinking into the thick mane I rode on months ago. Her large pointed ears frame me, and I smile down at her.
A rumbling purr vibrates within my form, and I lean down to rest upon her head. A tear slips down my face. I miss you.
Jinx doesn’t respond. There is no link in this dream that would anchor her to my soul. I hold her, and we lie wrapped together, basking in the healing rays of the sun, at peace for the first time in my life.
The kiss of the cool ocean air wakes me from my dream. The novelty of sleeping with real windows instead of enchanted ones has yet to wear off. The cottage safehouse that Lucas secured years ago sits on the upper bluffs of the Southern coast, hours away from any nearby villages. Upon Lucas’ request, I crafted a series of rune steppingstones to create a thick layer of enchantments for his complex network of escape routes. I never fully knew where all the houses were; I just crafted the stepping stones for him to lay.
To any outsider, this cottage is a burned-up shack seconds away from tumbling into the roaring ocean below. But once the wards are crossed, the humble cottage appears, one that reminds me of the enchanted window in Peripetia’s back room, as if it is this house I was gazing out of all along. The subtle details that Lucas put into our new home, the four bedrooms with the bay window and fluffy pillows that Jinx would’ve loved, sent me to my knees. The fate of my beloved bookshop utterly broke me, and I cried endlessly for all that I lost. I couldn’t get out of bed for days, Lucas and Valen taking turns lying with me, their silent comfort slowly tempting me out of the pit of misery I’d fallen deep into.
Then slowly, day by day, I was able to glimpse all that I gained in its ashes. Breakfasts with Lucas and Valen bickering, a shared bedroom where I’m never alone that overlooks the bluffs. A division of the three remaining rooms so we each have our own space.
What could’ve just been a temporary space has turned into the beginnings of a life I never dreamed of.
Lucas sleeps peacefully beside me, the morning light dancing across his sun-kissed skin, like it used to in my loft. A pang of longing for my previous life hits me in the stomach, and my heart clenches with it. I swallow, hands tightening in the sheets while I wait for the wave of discomfort to recede. His hair is so light now. It’s like he’s been waiting all these years in Havenport’s foggy climate to return to the South.
I shift onto my elbow, my head tilting to rest on my shoulder as I slip the sheets lower on his back. I’m not nearly as ghostly pale as I once was, but I might as well be when compared to Lucas.
Blue from the corner of my eye has my gaze shifting past Lucas’ broad, muscular back to his other side. Valen smiles sleepily at me, the iciness of his eyes melted away to leave behind clear blue depths within his irises.
My fingers trail softly down Lucas’ spine, dancing along his muscles as I go. “He’s so beautiful, Valen.”
Valen’s gaze trails Lucas as well, and he shifts closer to press his body against him. Lucas has his arms folded under his head, and Valen settles in to use Lucas’ bicep as a pillow. His fingers join mine, and we enjoy the feel of the magician together. The roar of the ocean against the rocky bluffs mixes with the songbirds that love the garden I’ve attempted to make in hopes that it will heal this broken grief within me.
Valen’s long fingers gather Lucas’ blond hair so that the long strands glide through his fingers. Lucas is still fast asleep, his lips parted. I touch his cheek and trail along his scruff. Silvery hairs are present, and I pause to inspect them. Lightening from the sun or the toll of stress?
A pang returns to my chest as my mind betrays me to offer a cruel thought. Valen’s dark brows draw together when my face tightens, and it takes me a moment to whisper the thought into the space between us. “You and I will live for centuries… but Lucas will not.”
A wave of sickness hits me and steals the air from my lungs. Valen and I are still young weavers, but our aging has slowed to a snail’s pace and will continue so long as our Soul Threads remain strong. But Lucas. He’s older than us and has a human life.
Valen collects a tear that threatens to escape my lashes, and I lean into his smooth palm. His voice is low and soft, easing some of this pain that won’t leave me. “Then we’ll enjoy him while he’s here.”
My smile is tight, and I nod, my hand lifting to hold Valen’s wrist.
“It’s too early for that depressing thought,” Lucas’ sleepy grumble is muffled by the pillow.
Valen smiles, his eyes dancing when he gazes down at the magician between us. He slides up to rest on his elbow as well. “Depressing for you, maybe.”
Valen draws me forward by the hand resting on my cheek to kiss me softly. “Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?”
I nod.
His thumb strokes me again. “Any nightmares?” I shake my head and accept his kiss on my forehead. “Good. Tiring you out was my goal last evening.”
A small huff that is almost a laugh comes from me, and he kisses each of my cheeks. “And here I thought you were trying to see if Lucas would break,” I say softly.
Lucas’ muffled, grouchy voice sounds beneath us, “Worried I’d die first, and yet not worried about breaking my back or dislocating my shoulders.”
Valen brushes one last sweet kiss against my lips before smirking darkly down at Lucas. “And yet you loved it.”
Valen slides his naked body on top of Lucas’ and rips the thin sheet off so there’s nothing obscuring my view of them. I settle down on my pillow, curled up on my side, as Valen trails lingering kisses that are not nearly as soft as the ones he gave me up Lucas’ back. His teeth close on Lucas’ shoulder as his hips slide along Lucas’ ass, his hard cock pressing in to rub teasingly as he flexes.
Valen’s lips brush the shell of his ear to whisper, “Still so wet after being fucked so thoroughly last night.”
“It’s called ‘oil,’ you insatiable jackass.” Despite his growled words, Lucas’ body begins to awaken, his head shifting to press against the pillow and his hips tilting up with a soft moan.
The pillow is ripped out from under Lucas’ head, and Valen tosses it off the bed. Lucas finally opens his eyes. Those nearly amber irises glint when they meet mine. The honey brown has lightened with the darkening of his complexion, and the change is hypnotic. His lips tilt in the beginnings of a smile before his eyes roll back, his spine arching in a wave with a deeply groaned and drawn-out, “Oh fuck.”
Valen sucks on his neck with a masculine rumble as his cock sinks deep into Lucas’ willing body. Heat floods me, and I bite my lip when Valen releases Lucas’ neck with a lick, a bruise blooming over the scars left behind from Dimitar’s bite. His breathless voice rasps as he begins to slowly pump in and out of Lucas with a sensual roll of his hips. “Always so ready and willing for me, no matter how well fucked you were.”
Lucas gasps, “That’s because you’ve just finished in me a few hours ago. Don’t you ever sleep?”
“Don’t pretend like you’re not well trained to take my cock whenever I want. I barely had to prep you last night before you were begging for it.” His lips brush Lucas’ ear as he whispers, “You’ve become quite the cock slut for me.”
“Fucking hell, V. Shut up and go faster.”
Valen’s eyes glint maliciously. “No.”
“You’re such a sadistic bastard.”
Lucas writhes and claws the sheets, the rope burns from last night bright on his wrists. A shiver ripples down him, and I can’t tear my gaze away from them. Their strange antagonistic lovemaking in the mornings is quickly becoming my favorite way to wake up. Even when I was at my most deadened and numbed to the world, I still curled up in the comfortable chair in the corner with my coffee to watch them.
Lucas slides his knee up with a moan, his back arching to take Valen deeper. Valen strokes his hand up and down it reverently, his fingers curling around each and every muscle. His hand glides up Lucas’ thigh, and he leans his body back so he’s supported on his other hand. He grips Lucas’ ass and watches how he slides in and out to the hilt. Lucas chokes on his breath, his mouth spreading wide as he convulses with the sparks of pleasure that Valen sends through him. Damn, I can practically feel it, my thighs shifting together.
Valen’s eyes meet mine, and his head tilts as he assesses me. I lick my lips, my gaze dipping down to how the two men move together. The pressure between my thighs is unbearable.
Valen lowers back down onto Lucas and commands, “Do not come.”
Lucas stiffens, his eyes snapping open wide. “What?”
“Do. Not. Come.” Valen nips his earlobe. “Surely a magician can follow such a simple command as that.”
Lucas pants, his hands flexing and curling. He chokes out, “You’re too deep.”
Valen hums. “Does it hurt or feel too good?”
Lucas shivers and groans with a buck.
Valen smirks darkly. “That’s what I thought.” And he begins to pound Lucas.
Lucas bites the mattress viciously with a high-pitched keen that pulses through me to settle in my clit. His hands fist in the sheets as he begins to vibrate. Small, whimpered muffles with each of his exhales worsen that building pleasure until I am aching for attention. I resist touching myself and wait patiently, enjoying the show they provide me.
Valen moans, kissing across Lucas’ shoulders, a sheen of sweat glistening in the morning light. “Oh, fuck, magician. Your body is begging for it.”
Lucas is beyond words. He writhes, his raised knee sliding down from the movement. He quickly jerks it back up with a panicked squeak. A little vicious jolt of excitement brings a smile to my face when Valen immediately clocks Lucas’ reaction. He grips Lucas’ raised knee, and Lucas’ eyes snap open. He slides Lucas’ leg down, and Lucas convulses with a strangled moan when Valen’s legs press his together. It intensifies the sensation in a way I am very intimately familiar with. I can feel it in my own body, and I can’t stop the little movements that rock me as Valen’s hips begin clapping against Lucas.
Lucas gasps, “Fuck, I’m… I’m—”
“Do not come, magician,” Valen says in a dangerously controlled tone.
Lucas shakes his head. “Too fast. I can’t hold it.”
“I’ll fuck you how I want.” Valen slides his hands under Lucas’ chest to slip up and grip his throat tightly. “How deep I want. How fast I want. And you’ll come when I tell you to come.”
Lucas leans into the hand holding him. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck!”
Valen moans, nuzzling into Lucas’ hair, his eyes closing and body convulsing. “That’s it, Lucas. Hold it for me, and I’ll pump you so full of my cum.”
“Fuck, V!” Lucas convulses and he thrashes in a near panic, but Valen holds him pinned too well for him to try to lessen the pleasure. “Please, please, please—”
“Your ass is so good. So well trained for me. Now, show me how good you are and hold it, Lucas. Hold it. Oh, fucking hell.”
My lips part, my lashes lowering, as I watch Valen’s beautiful body tense, his hips snapping harder and deeper until he comes with a loud, guttural moan. He presses his hips flush to Lucas’ bucking ass and grinds, forcing Lucas to turn his head by the hold on his jaw to kiss him deeply. Lucas whimpers, his whole body tense and vibrating, Valen licking into his open, gasping mouth with satisfied moans.
Lucas’ hand snaps down and back to grab Valen’s hips when he tries to pull back. Valen pauses. “You okay?”
Lucas’ only response is gritting his teeth, his hand shaking as his fingers sink into Valen. He’s not breathing, his large body tense, and Valen convulses with a soft sound, his forehead resting against Lucas’.
Finally, Lucas gasps for breath and flops down limp onto the mattress. Valen kisses his hair. “Did you come?”
Lucas shakes his head tiredly and convulses with the sparks of denied pleasure that I’m sure are pulsing through him with each heartbeat. “Wait or I will when you pull out.”
Valen nods and mumbles against the back of Lucas’ neck, “You did so good, Lucas. You’ve earned your treat for that.”
Lucas groans. “It better be worth it.”
“It is.” Valen’s gaze slides to me, and my pulse quickens. His brow arches in a question, and I shift closer in answer. Excitement sparks in Valen’s gaze. He fists his hand in Lucas’ hair and wrenches the other man’s head up. Lucas’ blurry gaze lands on me, and Valen growls in his ear, “You’ll fuck her slow. Do you understand? I want that big cock of yours to never bottom out until I say so. If you do a good job, then maybe you’ll be allowed to come, too.”
Lucas’ gaze darkens, and he gasps when Valen pulls out. He bucks into the mattress desperately. He’s trembling when he pulls himself to his knees. His chest heaves and his cock is swollen and straining, precum leaking from the tip. “I don’t know if I can last.”
Valen slides up behind him to grip his neck again. He tsks arrogantly. “Can’t control yourself, magician?”
Lucas’ gaze meets mine, and he shakes his head. “Not when it comes to her pussy.”
Oh fuck, I am soaking wet. I roll onto my back and shift until I’m lined up with Lucas. I spread my thighs wide. Both Lucas and Valen suck in breath, and I pulse as they stare at how wet and ready I am. Lucas’ cock twitches, and he groans with it, his voice breathless. “I’m going to come the moment I touch her, V.”
“We can’t have that.” Valen purrs, and he slides the hand from around Lucas’ neck down to his cock. Lucas spasms, precum swelling when Valen strokes him root to tip. On his swipe back down, Valen tightens his fingers like a ring at the base of Lucas’ cock. My eyes flare with the pulse of magic. Lucas gasps, looking down and trembling all over when Valen releases him to leave behind a glinting ring of blue magic.
Valen fists his hand in Lucas’ hair and hisses, “Now kiss our wife’s pussy before you fuck her.”
A pulse of pleasure rocks me, and my toes curl in the sheets. We never married, but I don’t stop Valen from calling me that. There’s something about it when he uses it to sexually torment Lucas that has me coming harder than I’ve ever had before. Lucas, too, if I’m correctly interpreting the flush that creeps up his neck.
Valen releases Lucas’ hair with a shove, and Lucas falls to his hands and knees between my willing thighs. His mouth devours my pussy in desperate, hungry licks that have me crying out and my own hands twisting in his hair. Valen stretches out on the bed beside me, and I welcome his deep kiss with a guttural moan. His hand slides down me until his fingers slip between my clit and Lucas’ starving mouth. He strokes while Lucas licks around him. It brings my climax to the forefront of my mind, and my thighs spread wider, my hips writhing against them. Then Valen uses his fingers to spread me for Lucas to suck on my clit, and I am done for.
I cry my orgasm against Valen’s kisses, hips snapping as tingling pulses throb through my whole body. Lucas doesn’t stop while Valen holds me spread, and I keep coming and coming until I’m nearly sobbing.
Finally, Valen releases me to fist Lucas’ hair. He drags the taller man up my body for him to kiss, Valen licking into Lucas’ mouth with hungry moans. He pulls back while sucking on Lucas’ lip and smirks when he releases him. “Now be my good boy and do as you’re told, then maybe I’ll release my hold on your cum.”
Lucas convulses, his eyes glassing over when he meets my gaze. I reach for him, and he falls into my hold. His body lightly vibrates as his thighs spread mine.
I moan, tilting my hips when the head of his cock breaches me. By the arachnid goddess, he’s so unbelievably hard. He buries his face into my neck and gasps in breath. He’s shaking so hard, sweat slicking him. He groans deeply when he presses fully into me. He grinds, convulsing, and moans in a pleasure pain.
Valen tsks. “Already forgetting your one task? Am I going to need to replace you?”
Lucas shakes his head furiously, and he pulls back. He thrusts slowly, shallowly, inching deeper and deeper with Valen’s hand on his hip. Valen’s blue eyes pin me in place, and pleasure trembles down me. His head tilts. “There. That’s as far as you’re allowed.”
Lucas groans, and Valen smacks his ass. “Come on, magician. Don’t disappoint me.”
“Fuck, V,” Lucas growls. Then he obeys.
My head falls back with a gasp. Lucas is on the verge of violence, his body strung out to the point of near breaking. I stretch out on the bed, body lax, and smile at Valen as pleasure pulses in me in a slow, aching build that is exactly what I needed. He strokes my cheek. “That’s it, my love. Let me take care of you.”
I convulse with a throb of pleasure, and my lips part. He continues to pet me like I’m his most treasured prize.
Then there’s Lucas. His torment fills me with an indescribable pleasure. His trembling, gasping, pleasure-pain echoing in me. Every twitch and high-pitched moan of suffering has my orgasm building more and more. He keeps his face buried in my neck, every breath audible with a whine. I’m balancing on the edge, and I look upon Valen pleadingly.
He smiles and sucks his fingers. He slips his hand between Lucas and me and leans down to kiss me while stroking my clit.
I cry out, the waves of my orgasm crashing into me. I spread my legs wider, tilting my hips for more and more. Valen doesn’t stop his slick movements, and I’m driven mad. Lucas fights to keep pace, and every time he goes too deep or too fast, with a pained cry, I peak higher and higher.
“Fuck! Please!” Lucas yells in a broken cry.
Valen breaks our kiss and asks me, “Are you done coming, my love?”
Lucas groans, and I lean against his face. “One more. But I want him to fuck me when I do.”
Valen huffs a low laugh and removes his hand from between us. “You heard her. One more time, magician, and I’ll release the spell.”
Lucas snarls, grabbing me a touch too roughly. I giggle when he drags me down, his strong hands wrapping around my thighs. Then all the relaxed lovemaking disappears. My eyes flare, and my arms snap around his neck. “Oh, fuck, Lucas!”
He pounds me, and it’s so achingly good after coming so softly for so long. I claw his back, my head tilting back as I cry my pleasure. My head tosses to the side, my eyes squeezing tightly shut. He strikes me so hard and so deep. He gasps in my ear, mumbling nonsense as he snaps his hips desperately, chasing a peak he physically cannot reach yet.
I twist my hands in Lucas’ hair and force him to look at me. I kiss him, and it’s sloppy and messy and everything I need. I sob into his mouth, and the tingling snap of the spell around the base of Lucas’ cock breaks.
His orgasm hits him like a train, his hips snapping against me. I come hard, twisting under him as he pulses, and meet him thrust for thrust as we lose ourselves in the mindless pleasure.
Lucas goes limp on top of me, and the air rushes from me on impact. Valen laughs and guides Lucas to the side, and I roll with him. Valen slots himself behind me, and I’m sandwiched between the two gorgeous men who love me. I go boneless, my mind blessedly empty.
We doze lightly before Lucas mumbles, “If I die early, it’s because of you two.”
Valen chuckles in my ear. “I’ll take that as the highest compliment.”
My hand smooths over Lucas’ chest where the scar runs from shoulder to hip. My thumb rests on his sternum. “I wonder…”
“What is it, my love?”
Valen kisses the back of my neck softly, and I say, “Could we put a thread in his soul?”
Lucas’ eyes snap open to glare at me. “Don’t even think about it.”
My thumb strokes. “If your rings were Leon’s… and there are threads in tokens…”
“Astoria Rosemont, you are not fucking up the world order or wildly experimenting on my soul. Hell. No.”
I pout and mumble, “I’d experiment on others first—”
“No!” he barks.
Valen laughs. “Oh, my love. Already eager to break the Weave after fixing it?”
I sigh. “I just don’t want to lose anyone else.”
Lucas covers my hand with his and squeezes. “Trust me. No one is leaving anytime soon.” His stomach growls. “Except me if we don’t eat.”
Valen rolls away from my back with a stretch. “I’ll go make breakfast.”
The color drains from Lucas’ face. “No, I’ll make it.”
“Don’t be a damn martyr. I’m perfectly capable of handling it on my own.”
Lucas’ panicked gaze meets mine, and I grimace. He leans forward to whisper, “Don’t worry. I’ll save us.”
“I heard that!” Valen snarls as he retreats from the bedroom.
Lucas bolts up with a flinch. “Listen, V. Sometimes people have strengths and weaknesses.”
“I do not have ‘weaknesses.’ I am a potion-crafting progeny. There’s absolutely no reason in the darkest recesses of the Weave for me to not master cooking. It’s essentially the same.”
Lucas is running naked out of the room. “And yet you can’t, and the sooner you accept this, the better it is for all of us.”
I smile at the bickering and slowly sit up. It takes me a moment, but I slip off the bed and pull on the robe Lucas bought me from one of the villages he frequents to get us supplies. I exit the bedroom and enter the room I’ve claimed as my own. The walls of bookshelves are all empty, and I try not to feel the agony that usually greets me when I remember the tomes within my loft. Lucas promised me that he’ll one day slip back into the remains of Peripetia and steal the books from within my old home. We just need to wait until the Magistrate, Guild, and Order finish their war.
I approach the large mirror I keep between the two garden-facing windows. I gaze into it, not perceiving my reflection but inspecting the glass slowly and meticulously. It’s an act of meditative patience, and I sink deep within myself until there are no sounds except for my pulsing heart and even breath.
A flicker of darkness has my heart jumping. I press my hand flat against the glass and choke on a silent sob when something impossibly soft and familiar brushes against my palm.
Words escape me, and I lean my body against the glass and cry. For the first time in months, a recognizable, head-rubbing motion that comforted me all my life strokes along me, evidence of a demon on the other side that travels the stars in another world, that waits to guide my soul back to the Weave when my long life finally ends. The only one I would trust to find Lucas’ mortal soul and safeguard it until we could be reunited.
After all, Lucas is Jinx’s favorite.
* * *
If you loved The Cursed Grimoire series, sign up to S.E. Berkeley’s mailing list to receive an exclusive bonus chapter, absolutely free, and be the first to hear about her publishing.