Chapter 15: Micah - Keeping Knight

I shouldn’t be thinking about having sex with Ruby right now.

Not with all my friends here. Not when I’m supposed to be paying attention to the poker game rather than remembering how Ruby looked with her legs spread wide, all pink and slick and ready for me. I shouldn’t be thinking about how she looked when she came, her face going slack and her mouth making this perfect little O. Or how sexy ‌a picture she made with her hair tumbling everywhere and her gorgeous body stretched out beneath me.

If I keep thinking about those things instead of the poker game, I’m not going to be able to keep my dick under control for much longer. He’s going to make himself known in a very visible manner, with seven people around to witness it.

Maybe if I hadn’t been so stubborn about not having sex yet, I wouldn’t be as distracted. I’d already know how it feels to be inside Ruby. I’d know how it feels to come inside her instead of in the shower with only my hand for company. My curiosity would be sated. I wouldn’t be so twisted up with wanting her.

Or more likely, I’d still be thinking about Ruby, only I’d know what I’m missing out on instead of wondering.

I’ve second-guessed my decision more times than I’d like to admit in the days since I made Ruby come the first time. First time, but not the only time, because I’ve helped Ruby with her stress relief twice more since then. And it seems to help—with her stress, that is. Which is far more important than my physical needs.

I wanted to have sex with her. So much so that I almost said a mental screw it to the whole being responsible thing and took her right there on the couch. She said she wanted it, after all. I wouldn’t have been doing anything wrong.

But it had only been two days since that terrible flashback. Only three days since she got the news about Sylvia. Ruby couldn’t sleep through the night. Her nightmares were back with a vengeance. She had started jolting at sudden noises again, even though she was trying hard to hide it.

It didn’t seem right when Ruby was so vulnerable. I kept worrying that she’d end up regretting it. So I settled on a compromise, which really wasn’t much of a hardship, all things considered.

“Micah.” Ruby touches my arm. “It’s your turn.”

“Hmm?” Glancing up from my cards, I find Ruby watching me with concern.

“It’s your turn,” she repeats. “Do you want to draw? Or keep what you have?”

Slamming shut the door on my wandering thoughts, I quickly glance down at my cards to remind myself of what I’m holding. I have two threes, a six, a jack, and an ace. Not a great hand by any means, but at least I have something.

“I’ll draw,” I say as I discard my six and jack.

Houdini deals me two more cards, but before I can turn them over to look at them, he says in a wry tone, “Little distracted, Knight?”

“Distracted?” I raise my brows at him. “I’m not distracted. I was strategizing.”

“Oh?” Rogue smirks at me. “You seemed distracted. Thinking about anything interesting?”

“Are you feeling hot?” Jester asks. He has a wide, shit-eating grin on his face. “You look a little flushed.”

“Maybe Knight isn’t feeling well,” Wraith offers. But the glint in his eye tells me he doesn’t believe that for a second.

“I’m not hot,” I retort. “And I’m feeling fine.” Although, now that I’m thinking about it, I do feel a bit warm. Not because I’m sick, but because my damn libido won’t settle down.

Shit, I really do feel like a damn teenager. It’s ridiculous.

“Micah, are you sick?” She rests the back of her hand against my forehead. “You do feel warm. Maybe you should take some ibuprofen and lay down.”

I catch her hand and lower it down. “I’m not sick, Rue. Really.”

“If you want to take a nap,” Rogue interrupts, “we can keep playing without you. Don’t feel like you have to entertain us if there’s something you’d rather be doing.” His lips twitch. “We’ll be just fine down here.”

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Ruby asks me. “I can bring you up whatever you need.”

As tempting as it may be to take Ruby up on her offer—I’d be more than happy to take a nap with her tucked by my side, and maybe wake her up with kisses, and then finally have sex—I invited everyone over for poker night so Ruby can spend time with my friends. Not to be alone with me, like she usually is.

I like having her all to myself; don’t get me wrong. But it’s been over two weeks since the attack at Ruby’s apartment, and aside from the visit to the police station and a brief trip to F&F the other day, she hasn’t been able to go anywhere but my condo. Ruby really likes it when Sofia comes over—they seem to be getting closer, which I’m glad about—and she enjoyed having Evie and Daisy over the other day. So I thought, what about poker night at my place? Ruby can do something fun, she can spend time with my friends, and they can get to know her when she’s not all stressed out during our meetings about her case.

So far, my idea’s been working pretty well. Ruby’s been smiling all night; she’s loosened up enough to tease Jester and Rogue a few times, and she even gamely tried one of the fried tarantulas Wraith brought.

“Fried tarantulas?” Ruby asked when Wraith first offered them. “Um.”

“Wraith loves to bring over weird food,” Houdini explained. “I’m not sure why he can’t just bring beer or pizza.”

“They’re delicacies,” Wraith explained. Giving Houdini a pointed look, he added, “Some people have simple palates, so they don’t appreciate them.”

“If having a simple palate means I don’t eat fried tarantulas,” Houdini replied dryly, “I think I’m okay with that.”

To Ruby, Wraith offered ‌a rare smile. “You don’t have to try one. I won’t be insulted.”

“No, because he brings them to torture us,” Jester added. “But I’m never one to back down from a challenge.”

“I brought something else.” Wraith reached into his pocket and pulled out a drawstring bag. “Kind of a welcome to the family gift.”

Ruby opened the bag to find a small dreamcatcher inside. “Wraith. This is so nice.”

“It’s to catch bad dreams,” he told her. “I can’t promise it’ll help. But can’t hurt to try, right?”

That’s why, even when my friends are giving me shit, I still love them.

“I don’t need to go upstairs,” I reply as I give Ruby a reassuring smile. “I feel fine. Rogue’s just afraid I’m going to win, so he’s trying to get me out of here.”

Although a win doesn’t seem likely when I glance at my new cards. Now I have two threes, a four, a seven, and an ace. Could I bluff my way into winning with one pair? Possibly. But the problem with playing poker with four guys I’ve known for over a decade is they know me too well.

“Hardly,” Rogue scoffs. “If anyone should be worried, it’s you. Because I have a killer hand. In fact—” He adds more chips to the growing pile in the center of the coffee table and shoots me a cocky smirk. “Here’s what I think about you winning.”

Wraith sets one card down and briefly glances at his new card before adding it to his hand. His expression is completely neutral as he places a towering stack of chips beside the rest. Then he nods at me. “You ready to put your money where your mouth is?”

Jester eyeballs the chips for a second before tossing his cards facedown on the table. “I fold.” To Ruby, he explains, “When Wraith gets that look, it means he’s got something good.”

Ruby frowns in confusion. “What look? I didn’t notice anything.”

Sofia laughs. “I know, right? But these guys have played a lot of poker together. So they’re used to each other’s little tells. I’m starting to figure out some of them, like how Jaxon’s knee always bounces when he has a good hand, and Nico’s left eyebrow quirks up when he’s trying to bluff.”

“Soph.” Rogue gives Sofia a pointed look. His lips twitch. “You’re not supposed to say that. Now they’re all going to know.”

“We already know,” I say with a chuckle. “It’s one of the first things I look for.”

Jester frowns at his knee. “My knee doesn’t bounce. Does it?”

“It does,” Houdini replies. “The better your hand, the more it bounces. When you got a royal flush that one time, I thought your knee was about to launch into space.”

Ruby’s gaze bounces from one person to the next. She pulls her lip between her teeth as she looks down at her cards. Her brow furrows in indecision.

“It’s just for fun,” I remind her quietly. “We’re not playing for actual money.”

Her gaze lifts to meet mine. “I know.” But she still looks worried. “I’m just thinking.”

Concern niggles at me. I thought Ruby was having a good time, but maybe poker is too stressful for her right now. Or maybe she’s feeling left out, since she’s the newest one in the group. I hadn’t considered it before, but for a self-admitted introvert, this could be too much for her, especially now.

Guilt seeps through me. Shit. I wanted Ruby to have fun tonight. Not to worry or feel like the odd one out.

“My hand isn’t that good,” Wraith offers. “And like Knight said, it’s just for fun. The winner gets bragging rights, but that’s it.”

Sofia nudges Rogue in his side, and after a beat, he says, “Mine isn’t that great, either, Ruby. Like Soph pointed out, I’ve been bluffing a little.”

Ruby stares at her cards for a few seconds longer. Then she takes the last of her chips and puts them on the coffee table. “I’ll call.”

Jester lets a low whistle. “Nice, Ruby.”

Sofia smiles as she lays her cards face down. “I fold.”

So it’s just me, Rogue, Wraith, and Ruby left in the game. Rogue’s already admitted to bluffing. Wraith may or may not have a good hand. Mine definitely isn’t anything to brag about. And Ruby’s is a big question mark.

“I’ll call,” I say, while adding my chips to the pile.

Houdini nods. “Everyone show their hands.”

Rogue flips his cards over first. He has a pair of twos, which means I beat him, at least. When I show my hand, Rogue makes a face and flicks one of his cards at me. “Just had to one-up me, huh?”

I laugh and flick a card back at him. “Don’t be a sore loser.”

Wraith turns his cards over next. He has three sixes, which puts him in the lead. “Sorry, Knight,” he says without a hint of apology. “Better luck next time.”

Ruby frowns at her cards. “It’s fine,” I tell her. “Remember, it’s just for fun.”

“I know.” She leans forward and splays her hand face-up on the coffee table. A wide grin stretches across her face. “Full house.”

Rogue laughs. “Damn, Ruby.”

Wraith cracks a smile. “Talk about a good bluffer.” He gives Ruby an approving nod. “You got me.”

Sofia beams at Ruby. “That was awesome. I thought you were about to fold.”

Ruby’s cheeks are pink with pleasure as she drags the pile of chips in front of her. “I used to play poker with my dad. We’d make bets using candy. I really loved sweets, so…” She shrugs. “It was motivation to win.”

I loop my arm around Ruby’s shoulder and kiss her cheek. “That was awesome, Rue. You really had me going.”

“Does that mean we’re going to keep playing?” Jester asks. “It looked like Knight was about to put an early kibosh on poker night, there.”

“You were?” Ruby gives me a questioning look. “Why?”

“Because he didn’t think you were having fun,” Sofia answers.

“Really?” Ruby asks, more to me than to Sofia.

“Yes,” I reply. “I didn’t want you to get stressed out about the game.”

“Micah.” She kisses my jaw. “Thank you. But I’m having a great time.” Her smile brightens. “Especially when I’m winning.”

Houdini scoops up the deck of cards and shuffles them with a flourish, creating a waterfall from one hand to the other. Then he does it again, but in reverse. Always the showoff when it comes to card tricks, he finishes with a trick he calls the card spring. Then he sets the shuffled deck on the coffee table and leans back on the couch. “Who’s dealing next?”

Ruby stares at him. “How did you do that?”

“Practice,” he says with a smile. “You weren’t the only one who played cards when they were a kid.”

After a beat, she nods. “I guess that makes sense. With your nickname and all.”

“Not quite,” I tell her. “He’s good at card tricks. But that’s not where the nickname came from.”

“Houdini can get out of anywhere,” Jester explains. “And he can get into anything. Doesn’t matter what kind of lock the door has.”

“He can pick a lock in under thirty seconds,” Sofia chimes in. “I’ve watched him.”

Houdini shakes his head. “Thirty seconds is nothing, Sofia. I was taking my time so you could see what I was doing. If not, I could have done it in half that.”

I glance at Ruby to see if she looks interested or concerned. After all, lock picking isn’t something the average person approves of. “We don’t do it with our F&F jobs,” I tell her. “It’s just in case of emergencies. Or when Houdini feels like showing off.”

“That’s really cool,” she says after a brief hesitation. Then she smiles at Houdini. “Could you show me how you do it sometime?”

Houdini flicks a lightning-fast glance at me, silently asking for permission. In response, I give him a quick nod. “Sure,” he says, looking pleased about it. “I’d be happy to.”

“Okay.” Rogue grabs the cards and gives them another shuffle. “I’ll deal this time. And now we all know we have to look out for Ruby.” He flashes her a smile. “Since Micah never told us she was a ringer.”

Ruby turns to me. Her eyes are a bright, sparkling gold. In a tone low enough for only me to hear, she says, “This is really fun, Micah. Thanks for doing this.”

* * *

“What do you want to do with these?”

Ruby gives the brown cardboard box she’s holding a look of distaste. “I guess I have a simple palate, too. Because I am not a fan of fried tarantulas.”

I cross the kitchen and take the box from her, then carry it over to the pantry, where I stick it on the top shelf. “I’m not a fan either. Neither is Wraith. He just likes coming up with weird things to bring whenever we all get together.”

“This might be a dumb question, then.” She comes over to stand beside me. “But why are you keeping them if nobody likes them?”

“Because I can bring them into work,” I reply. Shutting the pantry door, I turn and take Ruby into my arms. First, I kiss her forehead, then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. She tastes like chocolate and sugar from the cookies Sofia brought over and thankfully not fried tarantulas.

“You want to bring them into work?” Her forehead wrinkles. “I’m not sure I’d be too thrilled if my boss brought in spiders for a Monday morning treat.”

Laughing, I reply, “I won’t give them to Evie and the others. I have breakfast delivered for them. The tarantulas are for Beau.”

“Beau?”

“Yeah. He works in Wraith’s division. I’ve known Beau ever since we were Rangers. He became a Green Beret around the same time I transferred over to Delta.”

“And that means he wants giant fried spiders?”

My chest shakes with laughter. “No. It means we like to mess with each other. He’ll think the tarantulas are funny. Just like when he gave me tickets to visit this weird puppet museum upstate.”

“A puppet museum?” Ruby makes a face. “What kind of puppets?”

“Marionettes and ventriloquist dolls, mainly. Some life-sized ones.”

She shivers. “That sounds creepy. And you actually went?”

“I did.” Smiling, I kiss her again. “I got Jester to go with me. And it was creepy. I had dreams about puppets for days.”

“I’m not sure which is worse,” Ruby says. “Fried tarantulas or creepy puppets.” Then she smiles. “The dreamcatcher was a nice gift, though. I can’t believe he thought to give that to me.”

“It was,” I agree. “That’s the thing about Wraith. He comes across as this serious guy. Doesn’t like to smile, intimidates the shit out of people… but he’s actually got a great sense of humor. And he notices things. Not just notices, but does something about them. Like… Rogue was having a rough time a while back. Wraith got his hands on playoff tickets at Yankee Stadium. Right behind the dugout. And he brought all of us. Because he knew Rogue loved the Yankees, and he thought it might help him feel better.”

“Aw, that’s so nice.” Ruby grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You’re lucky to have such great friends.”

“I am. But I’d like to meet your friends, too. I know now isn’t the best time, but soon.”

“That would be great.” Her expression turns thoughtful. “They’re going to love you. Especially after⁠—”

“After what?”

Her cheeks go slightly pink. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Rue.” I stroke her cheek. “You can tell me. If it’s about an ex, I’m not going to get all weird about it. You’re thirty-two. As much as I don’t like thinking about you with other guys, it’s something I accept.”

“I don’t like thinking about you with other women, either,” Ruby blurts. “Those women in our cooking class? Elowen and Talia? They were always staring at you. And it annoyed me to no end.”

“Oh?” I grin at her. “You were jealous?”

She gives my arm a little shove. “Yes, I was jealous. Even though I told myself I didn’t want a relationship, I didn’t want you dating them. Or anyone, really.”

I pull Ruby closer, so she’s pressed against me. “Other than you?”

Her gaze dips. “Maybe.”

“I didn’t want anyone dating you, either. If that makes you feel better.”

“You didn’t?”

“Absolutely not. I saw a couple of the guys in class eyeing you, and I knew I didn’t have the right to be jealous. But I was.”

Ruby’s hand comes to my cheek. “So we both wanted it. We just weren’t ready.”

“I guess we weren’t.” Lowering my head, I cover her mouth with mine. I trace the seam of her lips, and she opens for me, inviting me into her honeyed warmth. As we keep kissing, she twines her arms around my neck and rises onto her toes. She lets out a soft, sexy sigh that I capture with my mouth.

Always ready, my dick jumps to attention. Now? he asks. Is it time yet?

I”m not sure, I tell him. Just be patient. We don’t want to mess this up.

Yes, I’m holding silent conversations with myself. But I feel like I read somewhere that it’s a sign of intelligence. Or self-awareness. Something like that.

Anyway, someone has to tell the guy to calm down, and there’s no one else to do it.

Ruby drags her mouth from mine and kisses a trail down my neck. Her fingers tug at my hair. “I love how soft your skin is,” she murmurs. Her breath is a warm whisper. “Right here.” She kisses my neck again. “And you always smell so good.”

“Do I?” I stroke my hand down her back, then cup the sweet curve of her ass, pulling her even closer to me. “What do I smell like?”

“Oranges and lemons,” she replies. “And mint.” Her teeth graze my skin again. “It reminds me of summer. And happiness.”

“Happiness?” I touch her chin to tilt her head up to look at me. “I smell like happiness?”

The sweetest smile curves Ruby’s lips. “To me, you do. Because when I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Rue.”

“It’s true.” She rests one hand on my chest. “Even when we were just friends. I looked forward to seeing you all week.”

“So did I.” Lifting Ruby in my arms, I carry her over to the kitchen island, then set her down on top of it. Spreading her legs apart, I step between them and kiss her again. “Do you know what you smell like?”

“Gardenia?” she asks. “That’s what my shampoo says. Gardenia and notes of amber.”

With a chuckle, I reply, “I don’t think I could identify a gardenia if my life depended on it. You smell like flowers and sunshine. And one of my very favorite things in the world is waking up with you in my arms, and before I even open my eyes, I can smell you. Feel you. I know I’m not describing it right. But it’s the best feeling.”

“Micah.” Emotion darkens her gaze. “I love waking up next to you, too. Not just because I feel safe with you, although I do. But it just feels right. Like I’m meant to be there.”

My heart flips over. There’s a tremendous tugging sensation in my chest.

Could this be love? I’ve never been in love before, so I can’t be sure. But I think it might.

Ruby’s hands come to the top button of my shirt, and she unfastens the top button. Then she moves on to the next. “Micah.” Her voice is rough. Sultry.

I reach beneath her sweater to stroke her stomach. “Yes?”

A third button comes undone. “You know how you said soon?”

My hand covers her breast, and I brush my thumb across her nipple, feeling it pebble into a hard peak. “What’s soon? Meeting your friends?”

“No.” She makes quick work of the remaining buttons and pulls my shirt open. “The other thing. Sex.”

“Oh.” All it takes is the very mention of sex for my body to react. “Yes. I remember that. But I’m not in a rush. I want to be sure⁠—”

“I’m ready.” Her honey-brown eyes meet mine. “I know why you wanted to wait. After my meltdowns… you were worried.”

“They weren’t meltdowns. They were completely normal reactions. But yes, I was worried about you.”

“I got that.” Ruby trails her finger down my chest, setting off tiny shivers in its wake. “But you don’t have to worry. Not about this. Unless—” Worry shadows her gaze. “If you don’t want to⁠—”

“I do.” Pulling her into my embrace, I repeat, “I do. So much, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m like a damn horny teenager again. There’s no question of it. I want to have sex with you. I want to watch you come while I’m inside you. Really inside you. I want to fill you up and feel your body wrapped around me and I want to—shit. I want all of it, Ruby. I want you more than anything.”

The worry fades from her eyes. “I want that too.”

“Okay, then.”

She blinks at me. “Okay?”

“Yes.” I lift Ruby in my arms, and she wraps her legs around my waist like the world’s cutest koala. As I head out of the kitchen, I dip my head to kiss her again. “I’m more than ready. And there’s nothing I want more than to be with you.”