Chapter 8: Micah - Keeping Knight

“How’s it going in here?”

Ruby’s head jerks up at the sound of my voice, but I’m relieved to see an answering smile instead of a flash of fear.

In the three days she’s been here, her jumpiness is gradually fading. Not completely—I wouldn’t expect that to happen for weeks or even months—but she doesn’t tense up at the slightest sound anymore. Her gaze isn’t constantly moving, unconsciously scanning her surroundings for any sign of danger. And I can walk into the same room she’s in without feeling like a total shit for scaring her. Most of the time, at least.

I’m taking it to mean she’s beginning to feel safe here. She should, considering my condo has pretty much every security feature available—smart locks, motion sensors on all the doors and windows, air monitors that can pick up the faintest hint of smoke, carbon monoxide, and volatile compounds, and panic buttons in most of the rooms.

Plus, Sampson and I are here. And between the two of us, we can take on pretty much any attacker and come out on top.

“Good,” Ruby replies. She sets her laptop to the side and folds her legs in front of her. “Just working on a manuscript. I was supposed to have it done on Friday, but…” Her shoulders lift in a helpless sort of what can you do shrug. “Plans change.”

I cross the bedroom and sit on the edge of her bed. My gaze quickly moves from her face to her neck and back again. Her bruises are shifting from purple to blue, which doesn’t look any better, but it’s a sign that they’re healing. Another few days, and they’ll start transitioning from blue to yellow. And another week after that, they’ll fade enough that they might not be noticeable except close-up.

But the scars that accompany them will take longer to heal. Anxiety, nightmares, possibly flashbacks… I’d be very surprised if Ruby doesn’t end up with some level of PTSD from this.

It makes me so damn angry to think about.

I’ve seen a lot of bad shit during my years in the Army. Shit I’ve shoved down so deep, it only comes to me in my sleep. But bursting into Ruby’s apartment to find her lying on the floor, clutching her throat and gasping for air after some monster nearly killed her—that’s right up there with one of the worst things I’ve seen.

That and the nightmare I had last night. In it, Ruby was standing outside her apartment, carrying one of those little to-go containers from our cooking class in one hand while she struggled to unlock the door with the other. She was smiling, though, like she had something pleasant on her mind. Just as she stepped inside, the bomb exploded, and the last thing I saw before I forced myself awake was Ruby engulfed in flames.

As the vision threatens to return, my stomach lurches. My heart pounds. A weight presses down on my chest, squeezing my lungs.

Guilt swamps me.

Logically, I know none of this is my fault. There was no way for me to know that there was a man lying in wait in Ruby’s apartment that night. There was every reason to believe it was safe. And the bomb… who would have expected that?

Except I should have been prepared for anything. Three years as a Ranger, five more in Delta, and now I work for one of the premier security companies in the country. Of course I should have considered the possibility of a trap. Shit, we dealt with enough of them on our missions in the Middle East.

“There’s no point in beating yourself up over this,” Rogue told me when we spoke yesterday. “Everyone’s safe. The fire was put out quickly. You even managed to grab Ruby’s things from her apartment.”

“I should have suspected the asshole would try something,” I retorted. “I should have known he’d come back.”

“We hoped he would,” he pointed out. “We just didn’t expect it to be so soon. Or that he’d use that tactic. But now we have new information, which is good. We know the guy isn’t giving up, which gives us a better shot at catching him. And we know he’s smart enough to build a bomb, so that will narrow our list of suspects down.”

“You didn’t see Ruby when I got home. She was terrified. Crying. She thinks it’s her fault. This asshole tries to kill her twice, and she’s apologizing to me. That’s messed up. And there’s no way to put a good spin on it.”

“It sucks,” he conceded. “I know it does. And I’m not happy about it, either. But, Micah.” We don’t usually use each other’s actual names, aside from when something really serious is going on. Which, considering I was almost blown up by an amateur bomb, probably qualifies.

“You can’t let this get to you,” he continued. “It’ll eat you up inside. And it’ll make things harder for Ruby. Even if you don’t say anything, she’ll pick up on how you’re feeling. Especially with her staying with you. Trust me. When everything happened with my dad, I shut Sofia out because I felt so fucking guilty. And I ended up hurting her, too.”

Stubbornly, I wanted to argue with him. Outline all the reasons I was to blame. But I knew he was right.

Does that mean I don’t still feel guilty? Of course not. But I’m trying to set the guilt and anger aside whenever I’m with Ruby.

Which is why I wrangle all the shitty thoughts and emotions and shove them into the dark corner of my brain reserved for all the things I don’t like to think about. Then I work my face into a smile as I say to Ruby, “I’m sure your clients understand. You told them you had a family emergency like we talked about, right?”

Ruby nods. “I did. But still. They’re counting on me. They have deadlines. And I don’t want to mess things up with my client after one of my others just fired me.”

I blink in surprise. This is the first I’ve heard of that. “Fired? By who? Why?”

She frowns. “One of my newer clients. He emailed me yesterday to tell me how unhappy he was. Apparently, he wasn’t getting the interest he wanted on his manuscript. And rather than trying to figure out how he could make it more appealing to agents, he decided to blame me for it.”

“You? How is it your fault? You didn’t write the damn thing.”

“I know.” Ruby pats my hand. “Don’t get mad. It happens. I’m not thrilled about it, of course, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“I’m not mad,” I reply.

“No?” Her eyebrow quirks up. “I can practically see the steam coming from your ears.”

“Well.” I unclench my teeth and flex my fingers. “Maybe I’m kind of mad. That’s bullshit, Rue. You did your best. And now this jerk is blaming you because his book isn’t good enough?” A thought strikes me. “Did he threaten you?”

“No, he didn’t threaten me,” Ruby answers. “He just said he wanted a refund. And an apology. I gave him both.”

“What? You refunded his money?”

“It was just easier, Micah. I can afford to lose a little money. It’s not a big deal, considering.”

It seems like a pretty big deal to me. But if Ruby wants to let it go… “Fine,” I mutter. “But I want his name. Just to run a check on him. Make sure he’s not up to anything.”

“I’m not sure,” she starts. “Everything is supposed to be confidential.”

I turn her hand over and wrap mine around it. “It will be. Rogue will do a little research, is all. Chances are, there’s nothing. And your client will never know.”

Ruby looks at me for a few seconds. Her forehead creases. “Okay,” she says. “I guess it makes sense. Since we have to look into everyone.”

I hate the worried lines on her face. They shouldn’t be there. Ruby should be smiling. Laughing. Given that it’s the weekend, she should be relaxing instead of feeling anxious about crappy clients and piece of shit monsters who want to kill her.

“How do you feel about stopping for today?” I ask. “It’s past six. Time to think about dinner.”

She glances at her laptop. “I guess I could. But you said you have a lot of work to do. I don’t want you stopping on my account.”

I do have a lot of work. Between conference calls, updates from my friends, online research, and catching up on the stuff I missed while I’ve been taking care of Ruby, I could easily keep going until midnight and still not have everything done.

But I did make a lot of progress. Or, rather, my friends and I did. While I’ve been staying at the condo to keep an eye on Ruby, Houdini, Jester, and Wraith went back to her building to put a metric shit-ton of security cameras up. If anyone even breathes near Ruby’s apartment, we’ll know. And I’ve been helping Rogue and his team with the investigative part of things—checking alibis and running background checks on potential suspects.

So far, we haven’t found much. Ruby’s building only had security cameras installed in the lobby, the mailroom, and the storage space in the basement, which wasn’t much help. We’re looking into all the residents, but with over a hundred of them, it’s a slow process. If Ruby were friends with any of her neighbors, that might have been a place to start, but she said she’s only on cordial terms with them.

As for alibis? Liam and Sylvia both have one. Does that mean they couldn’t have paid someone to cover for them? Or hired a hitman to do their dirty work? Of course not. That’s why those two are still at the top of our list.

“I can just grab something quick,” Ruby adds. “A sandwich or something. I can bring one to you while you’re working.”

Yes, I could keep working. But I’d much rather spend the evening with Ruby. I can always hop back on the computer once she’s gone to bed, if I’m really feeling motivated.

“No, I want to stop,” I tell her. Standing, I extend my hand to help her up from the bed. “I’m hungry. Not for sandwiches. For actual dinner. And you need to eat something substantial, too.”

“I’ve been eating,” Ruby protests.

“Oatmeal and soup aren’t substantial. Neither are pudding and yogurt. You need something to keep your energy up. Something with protein and plenty of vitamins to help you heal.”

Ruby’s gaze moves across my face. “You need something substantial, too. Since you’re still healing.”

I’d hardly count the two tiny cuts on my face as anything I need to heal from. I’ve gotten worse shaving. But I know Ruby’s upset about me getting hurt at all, and no matter how many times I’ve reassured her that I’m fine, she won’t let it go.

So I just smile at her and say, “Then we both need something good for dinner.” Keeping hold of her hand, I lead her from the bedroom and into the hallway. “How about pasta? That’s still soft. But we can add beef or chicken to it for protein.”

“What about that pizza place? The one you mentioned the other day? With the best pizza in the entire city?”

“But your throat⁠—”

“Is a lot better. It barely hurts to swallow anymore.” When I don’t answer right away, she adds more quietly, “If you’d rather not, that’s okay.”

“Pizza’s fine.” I give her hand a little squeeze. “You’ll never hear me complain about ordering from Gio’s Pizzeria. I can’t believe you haven’t tried it yet.”

“There’s a good place near my apartment,” she replies. “Pete’s Pizza.”

“Pete’s Pizza? What kind of name is that?”

Her lips twitch. “The name of the pizza place?”

“It’s supposed to be Italian, though,” I insist. “Gio’s. Sal’s. Angelino’s.”

Ruby laughs. “I don’t know what Pete is. But his pizza is good.”

“Hmm.” I shoot her a skeptical look. “I’m not sure about that. I guess we’ll have to try Pete’s next time.”

Her face brightens. “I guess we will.”

Once we reach the kitchen, I pull out my phone to place the order. “What would you like?” I ask Ruby as she’s grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “Any particular toppings? Do you want garlic knots to go with it?”

“No garlic knots,” she replies quickly. A beat later, her cheeks go pink. “Unless you want them. But pizza’s enough for me. You pick the toppings. Since you order from there all the time, I’m sure you know the best ones. Just no pineapple or anchovies, please.”

“Okay.” I pull up Gino’s number in my contacts. “I’ll order two pizzas. Their five-cheese and one with mushrooms and pepperoni. Does that sound good?”

Ruby makes an appreciative sound that’s somewhere between a hum and a moan. She doesn’t mean for it to be sexy, but my increasingly eager dick doesn’t understand. He likes Ruby. A lot. And the longer she’s here, the more he wants her.

Okay, fine. It’s not just him.

I want her. I want to do more than hold her hand or give her a comforting hug. I want to see if the image I’ve created in my head of her naked body matches ‌the real thing. I want to bring her to my bed instead of leaving her in the guest room every night. I want to peel her clothes off and kiss her all over. I want⁠—

No. Stop thinking about Ruby like that. She’s here for her protection. Not for me to put the moves on her.

Pissed at myself, I force myself to focus on placing the order. I leave out the garlic knots, but remembering Ruby’s admission that dessert was always her favorite as a kid, I add a couple of tiramisu and a dozen Italian cookies.

When I hang up, I turn to find Ruby watching me with a smile. “What?” I ask.

“You ordered dessert.”

“I did,” I agree. “You don’t have to eat it. I just thought you might enjoy something sweet for later.”

“I would.” Ruby sets her water bottle on the counter and walks over to me. Less than an arm’s length away, she’s close enough to catch the soft floral scent of her shampoo. The overhead lights turn her hair into a fiery blend of red and bronze. A constellation of freckles across her nose begs ‌me to trace them with my finger.

She’s so damn beautiful.

My body longs to take her into my arms.

“I love dessert,” she continues. “When I was young, that was how my parents would get me to behave. If I started acting up, they’d threaten to take away dessert that night. Never dinner. Just dessert.”

I shove my hands in my pockets to keep myself from touching her. “And did it work?”

Ruby nods. “Most of the time.”

“I remember you telling me,” I say. “Not the thing about your parents. But that dessert was your favorite when you were a kid.”

“Really?” Her brows pinch together. “When did I tell you that?”

“The first week we partnered together. When we were making the omelettes. You were telling me how your mom would do breakfast for dinner once a month. And that she would make your favorite dessert. The strawberry cheesecake turnovers.”

Ruby beams. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Of course I remember.”

She tilts her head. “It’s not of course. A lot of people wouldn’t. Not something insignificant like that.”

“But it’s not insignificant,” I reply. “It was a memory you were sharing with me. About your parents. That made it important.”

“Micah.” Ruby takes a step closer. “You…” Trailing off, her expression clouds.

“I’m what?”

“Nothing,” she replies quickly. Her gaze darts away. “Anyway. How long until the pizza arrives?”

I want to push her on it. Find out what she was about to say. But I don’t. “About half an hour, they said.”

“Okay.” She tugs her lower lip between her teeth. “Do you want to watch TV while we wait?”

“We can.” Though I don’t mean it to, my gaze moves to her mouth. Her lips are the prettiest shade of pink, and they’re so plump and perfect they beg to be kissed.

No kissing, I remind myself. That’s not why Ruby’s here.

True. It isn’t why she came. But does that mean kissing can’t be a part of it? Especially if she wants it, the same as me?

Does she, though? The way she looks at me sometimes makes me think so—the times when she holds my gaze a little longer than normal, or her cheeks go unexpectedly pink, or when she touches me when she doesn’t have to?

And how about the other day, when I got back from her apartment? When she stroked my face and hugged me and pressed her lips to my neck. Those didn’t feel like things one friend would do with another. They felt like something you’d do when you’re interested in them.

Shit, if things were normal, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d come right out and ask. Or I’d skip that step and kiss her instead.

But if I’m wrong, and she only acted that way because she was overwhelmed, I don’t want to make Ruby uncomfortable. I don’t want her to feel like she has to leave.

Dammit. Why does this have to be so hard? Years I’ve spent trying to avoid relationships. And now I meet a woman I’m actually interested in at the worst possible time.

“What would you like to watch?” Ruby asks.

I cast my thoughts about for something suitable. Nothing violent, because I don’t want Ruby to be triggered by it. Something funny? But funny is subjective. Personally, I think the British version of The Office is far better than the American one. But if I say that to Jamie, one of the security guards at F&F, I’m pretty much guaranteeing myself a ten-minute-long debate.

“How about a cooking show?” I suggest. “One of those competitive ones? Maybe we can pick up some tips.”

Ruby brightens. “That’s a good idea. Although—” Her expression sobers.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be able to go back to class. I feel bad. If you want to go…”

“I’m not going to class without you.”

“You can. I’ll be okay here by myself. You have to go into work tomorrow anyway, so⁠—”

“Ruby. I am not going to cooking class without you. Period.”

She blinks in surprise. “Okay.”

Belatedly, I realize my tone was a little rougher than I usually use with her. Gentling it, I say, “I don’t want to go to class without you, Rue. You’re the reason I enjoy going. I’m not interested in partnering up with some other person. If you can’t go, I’m not either.”

She stares at me as thoughts work in her eyes. “But you could work with one of those girls next to us. Talia or Elowen.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Ruby shrugs. “I don’t know. They wouldn’t mind. And I just feel bad keeping you from doing something you enjoy.”

As I look at her, I feel as though I’m balanced on a precipice. Do I tell Ruby the truth, which is that I would have stopped going to class after the second week if not for her? That I’ve rearranged my schedule so I’m always available on Tuesday nights because I can’t stand the idea of not seeing her?

Or do I say something safe? Something that doesn’t carry the risk of pushing her away?

I’ve never thought of myself as a coward before. Cautious when it’s necessary, sure. But a coward? No. And I don’t want to be.

“You’re not keeping me from something I enjoy,” I say. Then I take Ruby’s hands in mine. “I enjoy spending time with you. It doesn’t matter where. If cooking class is where I get to see you, that’s where I’ll go. But if you’re not there, I don’t want to be, either.”

Ruby’s gaze meets mine. “Really?”

“Really.” I take a step closer to her. “I like being with you, Ruby. Cooking together in a hot kitchen, walking you home from class, watching TV with you, drinking coffee while we watch the sunrise, just standing here with you… I like it all.”

After a silence that takes no more than a few seconds but feels eternal, she says, “I like it, too. Everything you said. About class, and spending time with you, and… I know this is the weirdest time, with everything else that’s going on. But I can’t help feeling like…”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re my silver lining. Maybe that’s stupid to say. Or it’s not the right way to say it.” One small hand comes to my chest, flattening just above my heart. “You’re more than a silver lining. You’re just—” Pink rises on her cheeks. “Something special. Someone special. You’re smart and brave and kind and you love dogs and you dropped everything to help me. I can’t think of anyone else I’ve met like that. And maybe I’m making things weird⁠—”

“You’re not.” Lifting my hand to Ruby’s cheek, I stroke my thumb across her satiny skin. “I’m glad you said it.”

“You are?”

“I am.” Dipping my head to hers, I press a soft kiss to her forehead. Then another to the tip of her nose. My lips only inches from hers, I say, “I think you’re special, Ruby. Very special. You’re intelligent. Funny. Sweet. Sampson likes you. My friends all like you. And you’re so brave. Braver than you should have to be. But you are.”

“Micah.”

“I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you,” I tell her. “I didn’t want to be selfish.”

Her eyes are so big and dark, it feels like I’m falling into them. “I don’t think you could.”

We’re just a whisper apart. So close I don’t have the strength to pull away.

So I kiss her.

First, it’s just a brush of my mouth against hers. The briefest taste of her sweetness. An opportunity for her to tell me no. For her to end this thing before it goes further.

But she doesn’t. Instead, her hand comes around the back of my neck, and she presses her lips to mine.

Splaying my hand across her back, I pull her to me, so we’re flush against each other. Her breasts are full and soft, and through the layers of fabric between us, I feel her nipples pebble into hard buds.

Desire surges, throbbing insistently. My dick goes hard.

Ruby’s fingernails lightly rake the back of my neck, sending a shiver of pleasure through me.

Bending over her, I lift her onto her toes and kiss her harder. I tease the seam of her lips with my tongue, and she opens for me. Then I plunge inside, stroking her tongue with mine. Tasting her. Memorizing her.

She moans into my mouth; a desperate, hungry sound. Her hips move against me. Her nails dig into my skin.

Kissing Ruby is even better than I imagined.

A dozen fantasies flash by in a blink—of setting Ruby on the island and taking her there, carrying her into the bedroom and laying her out on my bed, peeling off her clothes right where we stand so I can finally see how she looks naked—and I’m so tempted to try at least one of them.

So damn tempted.

But I won’t. Because Ruby’s a shit-ton more important than my physical desires. And the last thing I want to do is push for more than she’s ready for.

Instead, I keep kissing her. I tunnel my fingers through her hair as I tilt her head back to take our kiss deeper. I let her feel my arousal as it prods her belly. I cup her sweet ass, lifting her higher against me. I show Ruby how badly I want her without saying a word.

And she wants me, too. I can tell. There’s no doubt anymore.

When we finally break apart, my heart is racing. Ruby’s cheeks are flushed bright pink. Her hair is all tousled. When I glance down, the outlines of her nipples are clearly visible.

I brush my thumb across her kiss-swollen lips as I meet her gaze. “Wow,” she breathes. “Just… wow.”

“I’m assuming wow means good?” I tease. Because I know it was an amazing kiss. Probably the best one I’ve ever had. And given Ruby’s reaction, I’d guess, at the very minimum, she enjoyed it, too.

She laughs. “Yes. In this context, wow is good.”

“Okay. Good.”

Her brows arch up. “Was it wow for you, too?”

“Ruby.” I hug her to me. “It was absolutely wow. Even more wow than I thought it might be.”

She looks at me for a moment before a smile spreads across her face. “Yeah. It was.”