Chapter 19: Octavia - Pack of Mine

I got a new job.

And every day is the same as the last – I chain-smoke cigarettes and try to decipher these damn old, rotten books. I speak a bunch of shit in some voodoo language, hoping for a spell to feel right, but it never does.

I’m never getting out of the basement.

Skyler hasn’t come to see me even once since the whole Valentine and calling him “Daddy” incident.

I find it odd that I miss his presence, I have feelings for him deep in my chest that I can’t deny, but…

It would never work.

He’s an asshole, he locked me down here, so he’s also a kidnapper, and we would butt heads all the time even if he wasn’t a fucking criminal.

And if that wasn’t enough, he fucking murdered my ex-boyfriend and God knows who else. At least he hasn’t killed any women.

I only know our sexual chemistry, and even though it’s through the roof, sex won’t sustain an entire relationship. You need more than that – depth, emotional connection, real love and care for each other.

Does Skyler have any emotions besides fury and lust?

Maybe I could teach him – I can be patient with him and demonstrate to him how to be gentle, kind, and caring. I can show him how to love a woman, he just has to let me through his violent barricades.

My conversation just about two months ago with Daryl creeps into my head, how I joked about marrying this fucking guy. What was I thinking? Look at everything that’s happened since then.

What an unruly daydream.

I shake the thoughts away and get back to work. I start flipping through the pages of a black tome to find the “Cryptid Creatures and More Spells” section of it.

Quickly scanning the paper, I look for any mention of werewolves, just like I have been doing for all the books up to this point. But something catches my eye about this one.

My cigarette ash drops onto the page and my fingertips brush it off as I read closer.

No, no, this one won’t work.

This pack isn’t immortal, not that I’m aware of. I need a ritual for mere mortals.

Aha!

My eyes laser in as I read the text three times over just to make sure I didn’t misunderstand it.

Holy shit. I can fix them.

Tristan enters the room with steaming breakfast on a tray in his hands. His energy is refreshing every time he walks in – a soft and sweet vibe to flush away the anger raging through this entire house.

“Tristan!” I jump up and down and grab the tray from his hands, set it on the altar, and lunge forward to hug him deeply.

He grips me back, but looks unsure of why we’re touching at all.

“What’s all the excitement for?” His sweet blue eyes stare into mine with hope. The bruises have healed completely, he’s back to his perfect pale skin everywhere.

Fuck, he’s so cute.

I pinch his cheeks and quickly squish a kiss into him, my smile so big that I can barely purse my lips. Oops, I couldn’t help myself.

When I pull away, his eyes are wide with shock.

“I have a cure! I can fix you!” I grab the dusty book and hold it above my head, jumping up and down. “I can fix you, Tristan. All of you.”

His eyes start to fill with water and he wraps his fit arms around me. The smell of his coconut shampoo soothes my nostrils with every inhale, his fingers grip into me intently and I can feel him smiling against my shoulder.

After a moment of peace with him, I realize how much I’ve missed this – genuine and kind human connection. Skyler doesn’t know how to do that.

Speaking of the devil, he walks in as well.

“You have a cure? Bullshit, let me read it.”

He aggressively snatches the book from my hands and rips Tristan off of my body, gripping the back of his shirt. “Get it together, pussy.”

And just like that, it’s gone. My moment of human connection.

Valentine creeps in and says nothing. He hangs a step behind Skyler, peeking over his shoulder, but not intruding. Tristan persists with a stare towards me, not giving the book any of his attention and mouths, “I miss you.”

“This might work, we’ll try it tonight.”

Skyler’s daunting voice kills the celebratory mood and he turns to stomp out of the room. His energy is different, but I feel an invisible string pulling my chest towards him.

“Wait,” I quickly spit out and try to catch him by nabbing at his back.

He whips around and his previously evil eyes now look dead inside. His eyebrows sit still, his face completely blank. The dark pits of nothingness that I used to find intriguing, sexy even, are gone. The longer I look at him, the worse I feel.

“I… Um… Why don’t you come down here anymore?”

I want to put him on the spot while his brothers are still here, plus I’m a little bit afraid to be alone with him right now.

He waits for a moment and it looks like he tosses a couple responses around in his brain before speaking. I couldn’t have a clue what he feels right now, though. The reckless and chaotic energy that used to follow him everywhere he went is gone, he just feels empty and off.

He feels like Valentine.

“Just do the damn ritual, Octavia. Why do you care who serves you your meals, huh?”

I don’t say anything, I just watch him stare me down with hatred. The invisible thread that connected us starts to twist and pull painfully at my heartstrings.

“You’re nothing.” He gulps, like the words taste bitter on his tongue. “You were never anything to me, just a pussy to fuck and a witch to break my curse.”

I feel the string connecting us break in half, right then and there. If he intended to hurt me, it fucking worked.

I try to tell myself he’s falling for me and he’s just protecting himself and his feelings, but it’s not working. All of my coping mechanisms quickly fall apart beneath me.

I suddenly regret all the teasing I did, the staring at the camera and taunting him. I regret our banter, the little games that we played. I took it too far, and it’s my fault.

A deep guilt eats away at my insides and I tear up. There’s a lump in my throat that’s impossible to swallow down.

He watches me for a moment, then turns on his heel and pushes out of the room without saying another word. Everyone follows him, like a true king of the jungle.

My feelings of abandonment boil up and the gut-wrenching feminine rage steps in to protect me. The pain of every guy that’s ever used me just for sex, the liars and the cheaters and the abusers – it’s being squashed down with generational levels of fury.

What the fuck did I like about him in the first place? And why the fuck am I helping him?

I throw the items on the altar across the room, trashing everything in sight. The herbs go flying, candle wax spills on the tabletop and book pages ripple through the air.

Skyler Vale’s demon-infested mind took me as his final victim, and now there’s nothing left to rot inside him.

The red light on the camera flashes and sends an annoying reminder of my submissive position here.

He has access to me 24/7, and I have access to him when he feels like it. He fucks me when he feels like it, feeds me when he feels like it, then throws me away like garbage when he feels like it.

I’m expected to be a good pet and just take it.

Fuck that.

His undeniable need for control completely destroyed me and anything we had between us.

Maybe I made it up. Maybe he lied, and he never felt anything for me. I swear I saw it in his eyes, I felt it in my chest – was it all a fucking facade?

I’m doing this ritual and then I’m getting the fuck away from here, as far as I can run. I never want to see him again, especially when he can’t use his animalistic side as an excuse for his disgusting behavior anymore.

* * *

I can’t tell time in the basement, but I know it’s late in the evening because Valentine is here to collect me like a tool in his workshop.

He gestures for me to place all of the things I need for the ritual into his thigh bag and says absolutely nothing.

I’ve had time to cool down and reflect, but I’m feeling so many things all at once that I can’t even pick an emotion to talk about. My heart hurts, I’m full of regret and shame, but I also swallow a pit of anger in my stomach, boiling up again.

“Valentine…” I feel utterly pathetic and my words practically trip over their own feet, making their way out of my mouth.

He looks down at me and his grey eyes pierce me even deeper than the humiliation I already feel.

Goddamn, he looks good though, it’s distracting. His scruff catches in the low light and his jawline is sharper than the edge of a knife. This man aged like fine wine and I want a tall glass of it.

I palm my face and wipe away my blush from looking at him. Back to the subject.

“Am I really nothing to Skyler?”

Embarrassment spews out from every pore on my body and I cower down, unable to hold his dreamy eye contact. Sitting here in this dark room, alone with my thoughts all day – it’s broken me. I feel empty and exhausted, looking for any ounce of hope from this old man.

He places his aged fingers on my chin and tilts my head up to look at him again, but his words confuse me further.

“Quite the contrary, actually.”

We look at each other for a moment, exchanging words without speaking anything. There’s a sparkle in his eye, one that I hadn’t seen before. His touch on my skin feels soothing, calming, grounding. I don’t feel this with Tristan or Skyler.

It feels like the world stops turning, all of my problems fade away and the only thing I can focus on is his gentle grip on my chin.

My heart aches for this – this grounded and protected sensation.

Feeling brave, I stand up on my tiptoes and push my lips into his, wrapping my hands up around his neck. He pulls me into him, but in a gentle and tender way. We deepen our slow, thoughtful kiss by tilting our heads and the passion between us grows with every second of our tongues caressing each other.

My body naturally leans further into him and I shiver at his ring-covered hands running up and down the small of my back. I swear I hear soft jazz playing in the background.

Magic, that’s what this is. This kiss is fucking magical.

He slides away from me and rests his hand on my cheek, stroking his thumb across it.

“Val…”

“Shhh…” He quiets me.

We keep our eyes locked on one another, compassion exchanging without anything vocal. He puts both his hands on my blushing cheeks and sets his forehead onto mine, closing his light eyes.

There is nothing in the world that could pull me away from this feeling right now. Absolutely nothing. It’s just us, floating through time and space. I listen to his slow breathing and inhale his cologne, mixed with a taste of whiskey on my lips now.

Fuck, I love this. I never want it to end.

I picture a life with Valentine, a life of protection and peace. I envision him cooking me breakfast in the morning, watching him create in his workshop, and lying on his big, muscular chest at night.

My hands rest on his pecs as he pulls away and opens his eyes, my body aching at the loss of his touch.

“You are way more than an object to me, and to everyone in this house. You are everything. Do you trust me, Octavia? Do you trust what I’m saying to you?”

His words bring tears to my eyes and suck me out of my daydream, and before I can say yes, he’s gently tugging me out of the basement and up the stairs.

God damn, I needed that. I needed that more than I needed fucking oxygen.

I try to repeat his reassurance in my mind over and over again. The whole reason I’m doing this, the whole reason I’m helping them, is because I saw a future here. I saw something with all three of these brothers – the life in the woods I’ve always dreamed of.

I still crave that, despite everything that’s happened here. I still want this.

When we step outside, the other two boys are waiting for me. The full moon is so bright, almost blinding, and I realize I haven’t seen the beauty of nature in weeks. I glance around at the trees surrounding them, the light fog in the air and inhale the smell of grass and dirt.

Fuck, I missed being outside. I only hope I can see sunlight soon, as well.

“Let’s get going,” Valentine mumbles as he wraps his hand tightly around my bicep.

Yeah, right, like I’m going to try escaping right now. It would be fun to run from all three of them, though.

We march together through the foggy forest, eventually reaching a small clearing in the woodland. Everyone silently agrees this is a great place for the ritual, the aura surrounding us filled with anticipation. Valentine lights a small campfire and places my necessary items on a large rock near it.

I pull the folded paper from the book out of the pile and begin reading the instructions out loud to them.

“Okay, I need all three of you to stand facing me, near the fire.” I point and direct them, feeling out of place to be the one in control.

“I’m gonna create this concoction over the flames in the brass bowl, and then you’ll all have to drink it.”

I throw the ground-up herbs and holy water into the dish and rest it next to the hot coals. It begins to boil as I proceed with reading the instructions out loud.

“Oh, shit.”

I missed the fine print.

They all look concerned, and Skyler blurts out a stern, “What?”

“This won’t work, I’m sorry…”

Fuck. I can’t believe I missed this.

“It needs you all to be in wolf form.”

The forest falls completely silent and the crackling of the firewood acts like crickets in the stillness.

Valentine strips his clothes off until he’s naked and transforms in a matter of seconds. He glances at his two brothers with a blank face and shrugs.

“You’ve gotta figure it out someday, why not try now?”

Skyler and Tristan gaze at each other with confusion and a hint of frustration.

We all wait for a few more minutes in the awkwardness and I observe them, standing there patiently with their arms on their chest like they’re waiting for me to do something about it.

What are they looking at me for?

Wait, I have an idea.

Memories flood back of Skyler growing furious with me in the car when we first met, kicking me to the street and speeding off in his old Mustang. When he turned in front of me in the basement, he was also agitated, almost uncontrollable.

I remember Tristan turning after being a people-pleaser, abandoning his own desires for mine and Skyler’s, trying to obey even though it went against what he wanted. He turned back when he finally came clean and put himself first.

It clicks, and I know exactly what to do.

“Tristan, you fucked me so good that one night that you let me go upstairs, I miss the way your perfect cock felt sliding in and out of me.”

They both carry a look of shock with wide eyes, and turn to face their brother instead of me.

I strut over to him sexually but keep my eyes locked on Skyler, watching his rage boil up right in front of my eyes. His face turns from surprised to pissed, his brows furrowing and his pupils dilating enough to turn his irises into that dreaded shade of black.

My hands run up and down Tristan’s chest, taking my time, and I kiss his neck while I stare at Skyler.

“Dare I say, you fucked me the best out of all three of you?”

I grab Tristan’s cock through his sweats and fake moan, to which Skyler starts to lose it. He crosses his arms again like he’s trying to play it cool, but I see his chest rising and falling faster and his face twisting in every direction.

“Will you pleaseeee fuck me like that again? Will you pull me on your lap, slide my ass up and down on you and make me cum on your cock all fucking night? I want to feel that again – you filling my pussy with your juices.”

Tristan grunts uncomfortably and I grin, watching Skyler’s body hair grow thicker. His fangs pull down and with a final lick on Tristan’s neck, his brutal transformation begins.

Skyler’s bones break slowly, painfully slow. It’s so hard to watch him, every single crack looks like a world of agony. Valentine and Tristan’s transformation takes about three seconds, while Skyler’s takes almost two whole minutes.

The cracks shred his clothes, his face morphs into a demonic, gutted wolf and when he’s finally finished, he looks as if he’s ready to rip me and Tristan into tiny pieces like the cloth surrounding him.

Shoving my fear down, I gulp and say, “Good, now you.”

I turn on my heel to face Tristan directly, my back to the nightmare fuel behind me. He looks nervous – exactly where I want him to be.

“Tell Skyler how you feel about me.”

His cheeks turn a hot red and he shakes his head, hiding his face away from both of us. I hear Skyler laugh and scoff behind my back while Tristan’s fists clench at his sides.

“Oh, come on, I know you can do it. It’s not that hard now, is it?”

He tries his best to energetically push me away, but his body starts to betray him. It twitches with each second he remains silent and I see his blonde arm hair grow thicker as he rubs his hands up and down them. This is going so well.

“You’re not already in love with me after just having sex once, right? That would be embarrassing.”

He shakes his head to lie again and fists his fluffy hair nervously, but his body can’t contain it anymore.

An ear-piercing crack floods the forest and his clothes rip into a destroyed pile of cotton.

Three wolves now sit in front of me, patiently waiting for the next step. Each of them is so different, so far from one another, but they come together as a family, a pack.

A pack of mine.

I command them where to stand and begin the chanting part of the ritual. The voodoo words make the air around us vibrate and I feel sparkling energy escaping every inch of my skin.

Flames on the fire shoot up and almost consume the potion bowl. I quickly drag it away and continue the chanting.

My eyes trace across the flames to the wolves in front of me, all locked onto my next move. Memories of all three of them spin around my mind, distracting me from the ritual.

I see Skyler driving me around in his Mustang, my hair blowing in the wind around my face and a cigarette hanging out of my mouth while he tries to hide a smile.

I see Tristan, drawing me a bath, helping me escape, and laughing at my jokes as I dance around the living room like a fucking maniac.

I see Valentine, holding my head to his and running his hands up and down my back, the passion between us undeniable.

The contempt I feel for Skyler, the betrayal and abandonment, it all fades away. I want a life with all of them. I want to run around with them in these woods behind the mansion. I want to fall asleep next to them, cuddling up with their fur.

I want to be part of their pack.

Power fills my veins, I feel every hair on my body stand up high as my eyes roll back. Rainbows of color flash around behind my eyelids and my legs feel like they lift off the ground.

I think I’m a fucking God.

It’s working, I can feel it working.

Suddenly my body starts to shake and the powerful force inside of me quickly dies. Nausea cuts through my stomach and bile burns at the back of my throat. My life force feels weaker and weaker, escaping me faster by the second.

Something’s wrong, very wrong. What did I do wrong?

Fuck!

I try to open my eyes, but the world starts to spin, my feet lose their balance and my vision goes impossibly blurry. My eyelids weigh a hundred pounds and my lips can’t form the sentences to cry for help.

No… I was so close.

My daydream about a life with the boys fades, my fantasy leaving just as quickly as it came. It’ll stay just that forever… a fantasy.

How could I be so dumb? It would never work. I read about these types of relationships in my books, but that’s why they’re written in fiction.

They’re not real.

My heart aches, my legs finally give out and I collapse to the forest floor, convulsing. I taste blood on my tongue and feel a single tear drip down my cheek, but I can’t move my arm to wipe it away.

The last thing I hear is paws running towards me and suddenly I’m in a pit of bleak hopelessness, just like Skyler’s demonic black eyes.