Chapter 15 - The Cell Next Door
By Dylan Tallman
I tried to fit into society, I tried to fit in while in prison, I tried to fit in everywhere, and I didn't fit in anywhere. Jesus said to his disciples that they were not of this world. That being said, I was part of a bigger picture." Paul said, "For now, we see an emir dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.” So, I knew my purpose in part, and apparently, I wouldn't have the answers until I saw God. Prayer ended and everyone said Amen. As we were walking back to Unit 11, Pete was talking to me and trying to instill some sense into me. “Brother, you have this spirit, a good heart, great character, nice looks and you're smarter than most guys here. You have a book out and you're getting out, you're going home, about to be laid up with your woman, just slipping the life that I'm may never get to experience again if my pill doesn't help.”
Every word he said hit home, it make me feel like somebody again. I always felt like the scum of the earth. I felt low like the bottom of people's shoes, an animal. “I pray your appeal is a successful, Pete. You deserve freedom more than I do,” I said. Appeals were the one thing that gave guys hope. However, the success rate of a criminal appeal is 5%. There's a 95% chance that anyone who feels they were wrongly convicted will fail at their appeal. I knew this as I walked down the hall. “You absolutely deserve this. You have done all of this time because of a gram and a half of cocaine and burglary while armed. You weren't armed and nothing was taken,” Pete said, smoothing his brains back. He was about 49 years old and had been in prison for 20 years. “The people ripped me off earlier that day. I just came to get my money, and I was let into the residence. I knew them, and we were just having friendly conversation. They let us wait until the occupant of the apartment arrived. Well, the SWAT team arrived, and we went to jail. I took a plea. Five years’ probation and in six months withheld. It was explained to me that if my probation was revoked, I would serve that six months. The following year I was in a position where I was told that if I didn't sign my revocation papers, the feds would pick up the gun charges that I beat. There wasn't enough evidence to bound me over for trial. I was told I would only do six months. I ended up with 17 years. Seven years initial confinement, 10 years of extended to provision. I was coming up on 12 years of that in prison. I was railroaded by a flawed system. In 2008, the lawyer that represented me was drunk half the time, and that is on the record. I have been sitting my entire adult life behind bars. Life is a struggle; however, healed wounds is progress. “You guys’ better hurry up. The guards are watching you walk so slowly that it doesn't even look like you're moving,” Chris told me and Pete. “Okay, brother, thank you. I'll see you at the next service. Keep your head up and tune into your spirit because you've got it,” Pete instructed. Why couldn't everybody be as nice as Pete? Why couldn't everybody be as humble as Chris? Though they were both in for some heinous crimes, I still looked at them as people. Returning to ourselves with my least favorite thing prison. I wanted freedom, fresh air, and sunshine. I wanted to be free from confinement.
We closed ourselves into our cells for the rest of the night and Chris slid another writing through my door before locking in. I, of course, grabbed it and looked at it. The lighting was dim due to nighttime creeping up. In this particular entry, he focused on Jezebel yet again. I noticed the part that said, "Surely there was no one like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil insight of the Lord, because Jezebel, his wife in-sighted him.” I knocked on the wall and waited for a response. “Yeah,” Chris answered. "I love the entry you wrote. However, I noticed the part about Jezebel, how she incited the king to do evil. I feel like this one is personal,” I pointed out. It also hit home with me. “I too, have been incited by women to do evil in the sight of the Lord. There is a proverb that describes her, look up proverbs 7:21-23.” Chris said. It was getting mucky in my cell, and I was wishing I had a fan to cool off. I obliged and looked up Proverbs 7:21-23.
“With her many persuasions, she entices him, with her flattering lips, she seduces him, suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver, as a bird hastens to the snare, so he does not know that it will cost him his life”. This was one of many scriptures he used to describe this woman. “This about your Jezebel!" I shouted a little too loudly for my own taste. Chris said, “she was the death of me. However, I have been born again, and God put me here for his own plans.” “Why would he want you in this foul place?” I couldn't help but ask him. “We're not being persecuted, we're being prosecuted, and not for the gospel. We are at best the criminals on the cross next to Jesus,” I replied. Causing him to go silent for a moment. “Thank you, Dylan. Well Jesus came for individuals as us. The first disciples were tax collectors, a murderer, and a prostitute. They were all sinners. He didn't come to call the righteous. He came to call sinners to repent,” He conveyed. I understood that perhaps more than anyone. However, I don't think that God intended for him to kill his pregnant wife and children . It didn't sound like he intended either. “I didn't hear drug dealer on your list of saints,” I pointed out to him jokingly. "Oh, yeah, you're on the top of that list," he said. "So where are you on the list that asked Chris?" I could have probably heard a pin drop from how silent he became at that moment. I thought he had vacated the conversation with the delay in his response. "I would be considered as the likes of Barabas,” Chris admitted.
“He was the murderer that was held before the crown with Jesus and Pilot offered to release him or Jesus.” “No, knock it off. He was a murderer dude and are not. You didn't mean to kill your wife,” I said, not even thinking of the children. I was closing my eyes to the facts. I didn't even want to know anymore. I loved Chris like a brother, and I didn't want to look at him the way everyone else did. He was a great guy. He was too humble and down to earth. He cared about others. There wasn't a criminal bone in his body. This is what drew me to him and formed our friendship. He was different from what I was used to. “You deserve to know, you’re my spiritual twin," he said. "I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to know. Some people say that you are the company you keep. If this is true, did we click because we're both of evil spirits? “No, that was nonsense. Get it off your chest,” I said, allowing him to tell me more of his story. “Nichol kept saying not to go to the police, not yet, and to lay low. She told me she would marry me. We would sell the house and everything and move. I told her that my older daughter saw enough to incriminate us or incriminate me. I told her that my wife's body was still in the house. She held me tight, told me not to worry. She said she would send somebody to get it and bring it to work, like nothing happened. She held me and told me that it would be just the two of us. She kissed me and made me feel like I couldn't lose her. I would do anything for her.” He stopped, took a deep breath, and exhaled. I thought I knew where this was going. I really didn't want to know. I also knew the power of love and deception. “This is what I meant when I told you that she made me choose between my family or her. The girls were what was left of my family, I chose her,” he confessed. "The wiles of love make people do some of the worst things. “So, who killed the girls?” I asked the question of questions. “I told you that it wasn't my hand doing it. I can't remember a lot. It was like I was possessed. You know how Jezebel ordered King Ahab to kill Naboth for his vineyard?” Chris asked me. “I am very familiar with 1 Kings, I replied. I knew it! She convinced him to kill his daughters. “I saw myself doing it, but it's like it wasn't me. Though I was numb and on autopilot, I couldn't hurt them. So, I just stopped them both from breathing,” Chris managed to say. I couldn't imagine being in such a position and doing such a thing. He had just called me his spiritual twin. I wasn't sure that I was. Then I remembered the words of Jesus where he says to forgive those of their transgressions. I wasn't the one Chris needed to ask for forgiveness. I stayed on a neutral ground in this case. So, I questioned, “she helped you with your wife's body?” “I really don't want to take anyone down with me. I did it. She captivated me with her smooth words dripping honey in Proverbs 5:3-5. She sold me a dream and brought me a nightmare. She only helped with the order for me to kill like King Ahab. As far as hiding them, she helped me,” he admitted to me. “What did she do when you got arrested?” I asked Chris. “She pretended to be clueless”, he said with a sigh. "Where is she now? She don't give a f*ck about you. As soon as you got caught up, she bailed onto the next. Where is she right now?” I pushed for an answer. “Nobody has heard from her or of her," he said flatly. "She’s hiding in case she ends up incriminated in this mess." I informed him. All he managed to say was, "yeah." “So, what are we going to do ask?” "We are going to get our book published, and then people will find the truth within the truth. The job is done. Chris assured me with confidence.
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EPISTLE TO ALL WOMEN
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