Chapter 4 - The Life That Mattered

Ronin

“Am I waking you?”

Dad laughed. “Almost.”

“Where in the world are you?” I really had no idea. My parents traveled all the time.

“Cologne.”

“Germany. Nice. Is the birthday girl still awake?”

“Barely. I’ll let you chat with her.”

“Thanks.”

A few seconds later, my mom cleared her throat. “Ronin.”

“Happy birthday, Mom.”

“Thank you, sweetie.”

“I tried you earlier today. I’m barely making it under the wire now.”

“It’s just another day. How’s Aspen? Have you started work yet?”

“Just some orientation. I’ll start full-time soon. But I’m settled into my condo. You should come visit soon.”

“Oh! Is it snowing there already?”

“No.”

She grunted. “Then you know your father will not be visiting quite yet.”

“Fair enough. Did Julien call?”

“Yes. He called this morning.”

“He video chatted with her,” Dad yelled in the background. “Showed her the water lily mobile he made for her birthday.”

“Aw … sounds nice,” I replied with as much sincerity as I could muster. My brother was two years younger than me. He had a wife and two daughters and a booming career as a successful artist. Some of his recycled-material mobiles hung in art museums.

I epitomized the opposite of Julien. My first real companion, a rescue dog named Rex, died of cancer. Gianna, my girlfriend of two years, left me because she thought my life was too unsettled for her relationship goals. And … I was the worst gift-giver—ever.

In my defense, it’s not that I lacked the desire to be a generous person. I wanted to be amazing in that department. I also wanted to travel by teleportation. If I’m completely honest, I had a better chance at that than becoming the Martha Stewart of great gifts.

“It’s a lovely mobile, but this call from you means just as much to me,” Mom reassured me.

The truth? She absolutely meant it. My mom watched me agonize over gifts for as long as I can remember being old enough to buy gifts for other people. I missed the days of messy glitter glue and scribbled stick figures on a card made from folding a piece of construction paper in half. She loved that stuff, still had every card Julian and I made. Of course … Julien’s cards were origami cranes or some exceptional shit like that.

“I won’t keep you. I know it’s late there. Just wanted to tell you I love you and wish you a happy birthday.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Have you made friends?”

I chuckled. She asked me this every time I moved to a new location. And by friends, she meant had I met a woman. My usual answer was no. Then she responded with a sigh because she wanted grandkids from me so badly. My generation’s lackadaisical attitude toward starting a family drove her crazy. Julien, however, also set the bar too damn high by marrying the first girl he kissed and spreading his biological seeds as quickly as possible. He didn’t get the memo about our generation.

“As a matter of fact …”

“Oh, Ronin! Tell me all about her—or him. You know we don’t care.”

“Thanks. It really is kind of you to respect my sexual preference. However, she’s a woman. I met her in Vancouver, but she lives here in Aspen. We had breakfast and dinner the day we met, and we’re having dinner tonight. Happy birthday.”

She laughed. “That’s really why you called. You knew the best birthday present you could give me is this.”

I silently commended her for not giving unnecessary emphasis on the word you.

Julien made a work of art. I met a girl.

The honorable mention son.

Don’t get me wrong. Julien was amazing. I knew the mobile had to be great. Evelyn, however, was stunning beyond words. So … I won that round.

“Of course, I knew my gift would please you. Also, she’s agreed to marry me. We haven’t sorted the details.”

Silence.

“Um … wow! Okay …”

I chuckled. “What? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted for years?”

“Well, yes. But I just thought. I mean, you’ve known her how long?”

“Technically two weeks. But we’ve been together about eight to nine hours total.” I rubbed my mouth to hide my smirk that she couldn’t see anyway.

“And you proposed?” Her voice shot up an octave.

“Not exactly. She suggested it, and I didn’t think it was a terrible idea.”

“Wh-what exactly does that mean?”

“It means I’m joking just to get a reaction out of you.”

“Oh, Ronin! You don’t even have a date tonight, do you?”

I laughed. “I do. That part is true. Her name is Evelyn. She’s a chemist who makes body products. She owns a store here in Aspen called Clean Art. You’d like her.”

“Do you like her?”

“Well, I’m having dinner with her, so yes. It’s safe to say I like her. Probably more than makes sense given our nine-hour acquaintance.”

“She’s special. I can tell. I can tell from the tone of your voice.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and flipped on the shower since I took a hike after visiting Evelyn. “Yes. I think she’s special.” The words sounded so foreign to me. Did they really come out of my mouth? I hadn’t known her long enough for my feelings to make sense, but some things didn’t make sense. That didn’t make them less true. Less real.

“Trust that. I know it’s hard for you to trust your feelings since …” She trailed off.

Since my accident. Sometimes I felt things that weren’t mine to feel.

“One day at a time. Love you, Mom.”

* * *

Evelyn breezed into the restaurant ten minutes late, peeling her unruly blond hair from her face, vibrant blue eyes scanning the tables. I didn’t draw her attention to me yet because I wanted a moment to just watch her—just one moment to sort out some things in my head.

I admired the beautiful mess, dropping her keys on the floor, fighting to slide off her pink puffy ski jacket while it simultaneously pulled on her black sweater that hung off one shoulder. When she spied me, I smiled, and she mirrored my expression.

Right there. That was one thing.

Her smile, an effortless light that couldn’t be dimmed. It grew as we made eye contact, and it felt like she acknowledged something unspoken between us. I had no idea what it was, and maybe she didn’t either. It was just a feeling.

A good feeling. I took all the good feelings I could get. Lord knows I’d had several lifetimes of the alternative.

“Hey! Mind if I sit with you?”

That was another thing. Her playful and flirty personality drew me into her world without even trying. I wanted to roll around in her positivity like a child in a pile of crisp leaves.

“I insist. Besides … saving you a seat seems to be my thing. Even before we met.” I took her bag from her while she finished removing her jacket.

“You’re such a gentleman. How un-American of you.” Her lips twisted into a devilish grin.

“Hey, Ronin!”

I turned to the familiar voice. “Noah, hi!”

My boss held out his hand, and I shook it. “This is my wife, Tami. Tami, this is Ronin. He’s the reason I won’t have to work sixty hours a week.” Noah winked at me.

Tami shook my hand. “Then it’s definitely a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too, Tami. This is Evelyn.”

“Wife? Girlfriend? None of our damn business?” Noah shot Evelyn a smile.

“All good questions.” She shoved out her hand to greet them while her gaze flitted to meet mine.

“Indeed.” I returned a conspiratorial grin.

Okay, Universe, Mother dearest, Cupid, and gods of romance … I get it.

“It’s packed tonight. Friday craziness and it’s not even snowing yet. Tami, let’s grab a drink while we wait for a table.”

“You should join us,” Evelyn said without a second of hesitation.

Noah and Tami shifted their attention to me, a bit of unease etched onto their faces.

I shrugged. “Absolutely.”

Instead of sitting in the booth across from Evelyn, I sat next to her—a huge upside to eating dinner with friends. With every passing minute, my feelings about her solidified. The things multiplied. She was definitely special. As the evening progressed, I discovered Evelyn could get along with anyone. A master conversation starter. She spoke and listened with such truth. It was impossible to not feel her genuine interest in … people. Yes. Evelyn Taylor was just a great person.

Also, as dinner progressed, we navigated closer. I wasn’t sure it was intentional or just natural—magnetic. By the time I paid the check, my hand rested on her leg, and her hand covered mine with our fingers laced together. Sadly, we were forced to let go when it was time to leave.

“What a great evening.” Tami smiled as everyone stood.

She was right. It had been a great evening. But so was the night in Vancouver with Graham and Lila. Again, I think with Evelyn in a group, it was impossible to not have a wonderful experience.

I wasn’t looking for her … or anyone. Nope. Just minding my own business. Living my best life, an unsettled bachelor with no particular direction, no girlfriend, and no penchant for gift giving.

“It really was. I’m so glad we did this.” Evelyn hugged Tami like they’d known each other for years.

Amazing.

She was that amazing.

Then she hugged Noah. He glanced over her shoulder at me, a little caught off guard at first, but his face said the same words that played in my head … I’m one lucky guy.

Again, our hands automatically found each other as we walked out of the restaurant, parting ways with Noah and Tami just outside of the entrance.

“Thank you for dinner,” she said, leaning into me because it was a chilly evening, or maybe just because.

“My pleasure. Where are you parked?”

She pointed to the lot across the street behind the grocery store. “Where are you parked?”

“I’m not yet. Noah picked me up from the airport when I arrived. I’ve been taking the bus and the occasional cab. Vehicle shopping is on my list of things to do.”

“Then I’ll take you home tonight.”

“You will, huh?” I gave her hand a little squeeze. “That’s very kind of you.”

It was about a fifteen-minute drive to my condo, and she spent the entire drive telling me how she met Graham Porter. Letting me know they dated for two weeks in college and had the most regrettable sex. Then she confessed all the reasons she worried that Lila would feel trapped into the family name and politics if Graham ran for governor. I swear the woman didn’t know a stranger. It felt like we’d known each other for years, taking me out of my element, bypassing the point where I’d normally say, “I had fun. We should do it again sometime.” Only … sometime was code for we’re done. Unless … both parties had way too much to drink. Then that led to a clumsy and oftentimes regrettable one-night stand.

I wasn’t opposed to the occasional drunken one-night stand, but not with Evelyn. We weren’t drunk, and I wasn’t okay with an arbitrary time in the future that I may or may not see her again.

“I’ll walk you to your door,” Evelyn said as she turned off her Jeep.

“God …” I laughed, shaking my head. “That’s messed up. Now I feel a huge urgency to get my own vehicle. I think I’ll go tomorrow to buy one just so you don’t ever have to walk me to my door again.”

She climbed out. “I don’t have to stop at your door. We don’t have to play by the rules of dating. I think we’re past that age. How old are you?”

I found her hand and led her to the front door. “Thirty-five.”

“I’m thirty-four. Have you ever been married?”

We stopped at my door and faced each other. “No. You?”

She shook her head. “The rules don’t apply once you’re past thirty.”

“The rules?”

Evelyn grinned. “The courting shit. The baseball game.”

“The baseball game?” My head canted to the side.

“Yeah. The sexual bases? First base is kissing. Second base is—”

“Yes.” I fished my keys from my pocket. “I’m familiar with the bases.”

“Well, I don’t know if you’re a fan of baseball or not, but I am.”

I unlocked my door and motioned for her to go inside.

She wet her lips and stepped into my condo without an ounce of hesitation. “You’re inviting me in. So you are a fan of baseball.”

Not so much. Skiing, football (soccer), rugby, cycling, tennis … but not baseball. However, something told me Evelyn might make me a baseball fan.

“Are you sure you’re living here?” She glanced around at the sparse furnishings of my two-bedroom condo.

“I never stay in one place long. No need to own much. It’s just that much more to sell or move.”

Books.

I owned books and a place to sit and read them. My parents didn’t believe in letting Julien and I watch television while we were growing up. Julien embraced art. I embraced fiction—mysteries and sci-fi.

“What do you consider not long?” She ran her fingers along the back of my leather recliner before dropping her bag to the floor and slipping off her jacket.

“Three to five years is a nice stay.” I tossed my coat onto one of two barstools at my kitchen counter.

“Okay. So our marriage will be short.” Her teeth trapped her full bottom lip.

“Probably.”

I’d dated enough women to know there existed a sequence of events that took place way before the M word should ever be discussed. I’d never reached the point of discussing the M word. Not even with my longest relationship, which lasted two years.

Two years and we didn’t talk about marriage.

I was out of my realm of experience with Evelyn. We joked about marriage, but who joked about that? Then there was a baseball discussion happening, and I didn’t even like baseball, but I waited with restless anticipation for Evelyn to make her point. Something told me it could be brilliant.

“Kenny was a guy I dated my first year in college. He played baseball.”

I could not have cared less about this Kenny guy, but he brought her back to the baseball talk, so I folded my arms over my chest, leaned against the counter, and gave her my full attention as she walked in slow circles around my furniture. A predator with calculated moves.

Who was I to judge? I walked into her shop that day and basically said we needed to expedite our dating status—laid out my plans to eat dinner with her, close down bars, and sip hot chocolate.

“He was a solid hitter. Always got on base, but he never hit a home run. I honestly think he lacked the confidence to go for it. His coaches told him to just get on base, so that’s what he did because that’s what you do when you’re young like that. You spend a lot of time on the bases.”

Were we still talking about baseball in the literal sense?

“I think once you hit your thirties, no one should judge if you just hit it out of the park your first time up to bat.” Her lips twisted as she stopped in front of me. “The goal is to hit it home. If you can do that, then why the hell not, right?”

I thought I understood the metaphor. But if I was wrong, I could get thrown out of the game.

“Can I get you a drink?”

Evelyn shook her head.

My eyes narrowed, studying her for a few seconds.

“First base is fine.” She shrugged.

Fuck me …

My grin got a two-second debut before I kissed her. It was slow. A pace that set itself. Maybe she invited me to hit a home run, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t take my time walking up to the plate, take a few practice swings, and relish the fact that I was the star hitter that night.

The invisible crowd cheered, multiplying the adrenaline in my veins, making my heart pound in my chest. Our kiss intensified, demanding with a clear purpose. As I backed her down the hallway, I made it to second base. She moaned when the pad of my thumb brushed her hard nipple.

My mouth wanted to follow my thumb.

Two steps into my bedroom, I unfastened her jeans, and my fingers slipped deep into third base. Excuse me for not sliding into home quite yet, but Evelyn’s bases were fucking spectacular.

“Yesss …” she hissed, breaking the kiss to catch her breath as she pushed my shirt up my chest.

I grabbed the hem of it, removing it in one quick stroke with my free hand.

“Seriously?” Her tongue made a lazy swipe along her lower lip as her eyes met mine and her fingers traced the lines of my chest and abs. “Now you’re just showing off, Roe.” Blue eyes took a few drunk blinks as I rubbed her clit.

I worked hard to stay fit. And while I’d had women admire my body before, they never did it quite like Evelyn. Her little smirk of appreciation mixed with her finger’s fascination with every detail of my anatomy left me feeling on top of the world.

Keeping her hands busy counting my abs, she widened her stance a few inches. I about died when she bit her lip to accent her grin as she glanced up at me.

“I could stay on this base for hours.” I captured her mouth again, swallowing her deep moan.

After she branded me with a kiss unlike anything I’d shared with anyone before her, she pulled her head back abruptly. I groaned my disappointment, pausing my fingers inside of her.

“You just have a mattress … on your floor?”

I chuckled. It was a bit strained because her hands had left my abs, deciding to work the button and zipper to my jeans. “I told you … simple life. I don’t miss a lot of things that—”

Fuck … fuck, fuck, fuck!

“That what?” She smirked, lifting onto her toes to press a kiss to my jaw as her hand started to breach the waistband of my briefs.

My hand cuffed her wrist to stop her while removing my other hand from her pants. “I don’t have a condom.”

I didn’t plan on having sex that night with Evelyn. That earned me extra gentleman points. However, not having any condoms earned me the biggest fuck-up trophy. Every man should plan for miracles.

She dropped flat onto her feet, forehead pressed to my chest as her hands fell from my pants, limp at her sides.

“I haven’t played baseball since I arrived here.”

No excuse. Nope … it wasn’t an excuse, more like an epic man fail on my part.

Evelyn laughed, stepping back. She zipped and buttoned her jeans before straightening her bra and adjusting her sweater. Then she picked my shirt up from the floor and handed it to me. “Let’s go.”

“Go?”

“Let’s go get condoms. There’s a store less than a block from here that’s still open. We can walk.”

Things … all the spectacular things about Evelyn Taylor.

Yet another reason I knew something was special—different about Evelyn. I didn’t hesitate for a single second. I didn’t suggest another night. I didn’t point out the obvious fact that we were on day two of being together and suggest we slow down.

Nope.

Jacket. Boots. Out the door.

“We should jog.” I reached for her hand and started jogging as she held up her phone with the flashlight on to guide our way in the dark.

She giggled. It was a giggle that reaffirmed my life was pretty fucking incredible at the moment. I didn’t want to slow down and think. If we didn’t make sense … then I refused to live my life by any sort of sense or rules.

“There …” She pointed to the illuminated pharmacy sign.

We found the correct aisle. I glanced at her. She glanced at me and shrugged. I plucked a familiar brand from the shelf, took her hand, and pulled her to the checkout. A giddiness filled my belly like a young boy high on sugar that I wasn’t supposed to eat before dinner. Only … Evelyn was my sugar. And maybe dinner was the morning after. If we did it—hit the home run—would we spoil everything for the next morning?

My inclination leaned toward “no.” Regardless of all the threats my mom made about licorice nibs before dinner spoiling my appetite, I managed to eat every bite on my plate.

“Hey, Evie darling.”

Evelyn’s eyes widened at the cashier. “Oh! Hey, Donna.”

The older lady smiled at me, but it faded into a neutral expression when she saw the box of condoms on the counter.

Hello, old lady stranger. I don’t know who you are, and how you know Evelyn, but I’m going to see how many of these condoms I can use on your “Evie darling” before morning. And for the record … it was her idea. I’m just playing the game.

She cleared her throat. “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

I returned a tight grin and a slight nod, internally chuckling. I wanted to say, “We were actually looking for licorice nibs, but we couldn’t find any, so we’re just going to have sex instead.” But I didn’t say that because I wasn’t in the mood to chat with the nice lady. I wanted Evelyn naked in my bed … because we were past the age of being shamed for just hitting the home run.

The thirties were good. Really fucking good.

“We did,” Evelyn replied, hiding behind me with her head bowed.

I tossed cash onto the counter.

“Do you want a sack?”

“Nope. We’re good.” Evelyn snatched the box of condoms, shoved them into her purse, and yanked my arm.

“Evie! Your change!” Donna called as we made our escape.

“Keep it!” She laughed as we flew out the door.

“Shit …” I chuckled, catching up to Evelyn as she sprinted toward my condo, nothing more than a dark figure with a phone light as her guide. “Who’s Donna?”

“My grandma’s good friend … from church. I didn’t know she worked there. Oops …” More soft laughter erupted from her chest as her words became breathless.

When I could see my front door light, I scooped her into my arms.

“Roe!” she squealed, wrapping her arms around my neck.

The second the door closed behind us, she retrieved the box of condoms and tossed her purse on the floor. We shared the most deviant grins as I carried her to the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind us. You would have thought we robbed the store.

“What is this?” she whispered when I eased her to her feet.

We weren’t drunk on alcohol, but clearly intoxicated with some thing.

My lips brushed hers while my fingers threaded through her hair. “I don’t know.” I grinned. Biting her bottom lip, I sucked it slowly before releasing it. “But I can’t wait to find out.”

Did she have a story? I did.

Mine involved dying and coming back to life with a new set of rules.

Hinder not the soul’s intended path unto the light, lest shards of darkness shed upon thee.

I didn’t want to think about those rules or any rules for that matter.

We slowed it down. It was just us. A mattress on the floor. A box of condoms. And all night.

We turned into nothing more than flesh and breath. An exploration of need.

My impatience warred with my desire to kiss her everywhere … taste her everywhere.

“Roe …” she moaned when I pushed into her.

“Evie …” I whispered over her lips before tasting her mouth.

Her back arched away from the mattress, her firm nipples brushing my chest as I moved inside of her. It would not be a one-time affair.

One hit.

I was an Evelyn addict from one hit.

Every day felt borrowed since my accident. Every minute felt like the first and the last.

Right then Evelyn became my beginning and my end—origin and destination. And maybe … if the impossible could find a way to be possible, she could be everything in between.

We owned the night without questioning the reason behind any of it. By morning, I woke to the condom box on the bed beside my head with a note scrawled on it.

Roe,

Had to work.

Evie xo

I grinned, rolling over to bury my face in the pillow that smelled like flowers.

“Evelyn Taylor …” I chuckled to myself. “What are you doing to me?”