Chapter 20 - Wings of Lies

I invaded the mind of yet another past version of myself. The cuffs didn’t block my dream-walking abilities. Ready and hopeful to find more information about my mom, I let the memory unfold.

It was a month after the big reveal of who I was, the prophecy of my life, and my explosive episode. A month, and still, we hadn’t worked on my emotions or powers. Instead, she had been monitoring my state like a helicopter parent and finally caved to give me an iPod to appease my restlessness. Last week, after getting sick and tired of wearing turtlenecks and baggy sweatshirts, she found out I no longer had my amulet and had a conniption, like full-on took a couple of her favorite chicken plates and slammed them to the floor. Afterward, she screamed at me for being so reckless and losing it in the forest at our previous house. Things went downhill from there, which was why, after another screaming match, I was in another forest next to our fourth house, listening to music to calm down.

She allowed my space because her powers couldn’t break through the itches—not one bit. I both loved and hated it. So, the next best thing was storming out of the house with my headphones and calming down away from her. Plus, it sucked to see the absolute terror on her face when the flickering purple fire took hold.

I wasn’t sure who she was more scared of—me, my father, the council, the queen, or the one with the ability to sense when I used my power.

A snap in the forest stole me from my musings. I pulled out a headphone, searching between the tall pines. When something moved, I jerked to my feet.

“Who’s there?” I squinted, making out a figure hiding behind a trunk. My hands prickled, signaling my Glory. “Come out. Or I’ll…” What? Erupt in flame because I’m scared and hope they see me as a threat while my legs wobble uncontrollably? Yep, I could already see it going in my favor.

When the figure stepped out, my thoughts took a sharp turn and dropped me off at Fantasyland, where handsome princes came and stole away girls from their terrible lives. But in my life, shit like that didn’t happen. But just damn it.

Rough leather hugged the contours of his muscular body, and wavy brown hair fell across his forehead brushing his sculpted cheekbones. He was handsome and alluring in his unusual uniform, with a sword at his hip. And those eyes? Those azure pools sparkled like sunlight dancing on the surface of our tranquil pond behind our house, reflecting a depth of emotion that stirred my soul.

“Who are you?” I asked, suspicious and intrigued.

He didn’t respond, watching me.

The prickling of my Glory traveled up my arms. I was about to lusceler away and tell my mom we were compromised by a handsome stranger when I noticed a flash of silver reflect in a ray of sunlight. Surprised, my fear and Glory vanished.

“It’s you.”

He was wearing my amulet. The sparkling, ruby wing clasp rested against his exposed neck. It was an angel wing my mom gave me as a birthday gift. She explained the color signified my birth month, according to humans and their made-up system. She loved the quirky things humans made up and created. I, on the other hand, was indifferent and a little bitter. Probably because while she got to go out and experience said human quirks and creations, she kept me locked away at home, threatening me if I ever followed her.

I stepped closer until only a few feet separated us as he watched me with a wary expression. With each step, he seemed to stiffen more. Part of me feared he’d run away. But I wanted to know who he was. I always imagined this moment, meeting the stranger who warmed me after my outburst.

“I’m not sure how you found me. But sorry, we moved. It wasn’t safe to stay. Do you have a name?”

A muscle throbbed in his jaw.

I gave him a tentative smile. “It’s only a name, right? For all I know, you could give me a fake one.”

His lips pursed, considering, then said, “Aspen.”

Shit. He shouldn’t have talked. I forgot what he sounded like, and the smooth, low tones did nothing for the fantasies I created about this mysterious male.

“Lucille.”

He gave a sharp nod, still stiff. “I know.”

“Right.” I told him the first time we met when I was naked. My cheeks flushed. “Why—why were you there that night?” Why was he here now?

The chirping of birds settled the fluttering of my nerves from his silence. I took a slow step forward, and he took one back.

“I swear I don’t bite.” I smiled, unable to hide the laughter in my eyes. He stared at me like I stunned him. The flush increased under his intense, curious gaze. “You do know how a conversation works, right?”

He gave another sharp nod, making me laugh. It sure didn’t seem like it. When I stopped laughing, his gaze traveled down to the pocket of my sweats, to my dangling headphones still playing my music.

I pulled out my iPod and watched his eyes narrow in confusion. “It’s an iPod.” When that didn’t clear the puzzlement, I said, “It plays music.”

How didn’t he know that?

I lived hours away from civilization, without a TV or phone, and I knew what an iPod was.

Bold, I stepped into his stiff bubble and placed an earbud in his ears. He jerked up as if to fight me off, grabbing my hand, then stilled. But I wasn’t sure if he stilled from the music playing in his ear or from the strange, tantalizing tingles erupting at his touch.

“Who are you? What is this?” I whispered as the tingles enticed the butterflies in my stomach.

He pulled back his hand and shook his head. “Stay here. Stay put. Stay safe.” Then he luscelered away.

“What the hell?”

He was an angel, or part—an angel who made no sense. Stay put? Stay safe? He couldn’t possibly know our situation, could he? I hoped not, but he wanted me safe, so that had to be good. Although, if my mom found out what happened, she’d find an island and lock me away in a basement with bubble wrap and every binding rune she could think of. It was a good thing she couldn’t use an angelic feather anymore, or she would have another horrible Binding Rune on me.

Yeah, that was a big hell-no to telling my mother. Plus, I wanted to see if he’d come back.

And he did, two weeks later. I might’ve taken up the habit of running in the forest every day to check.

I sat on pine needles, soaking in the rays of sunshine sneaking through the canopy as I listened to music and ate my favorite chocolate bar. When I saw movement, my lips twitched, hoping it was him and not the wolf who somehow followed us to this house.

He stepped out with a half-eaten apple, and I stood, taking him in. He wore the same outfit, the same closed expression, and the same drop-dead gorgeous looks.

“I was wondering if I’d see you again.” I walked over to him, and he didn’t back up. That was progress. Now, I just had to figure out how to make him talk. “Are you always this quiet?”

He shook his head.

So just with me. Damn.

When we first met, he talked, asking questions about me, but now, if I asked questions about him, he barely answered. Maybe I needed to talk about myself, and then he’d reciprocate. But where did I start?

“The first time we met, you asked about who I was. Well, if you want to sit, I’ll tell you a little bit.”

He gracefully sat against a tree as I crossed my legs and faced him.

“Obviously, I’m part angel,” I said, pointing at my eyes. “Like you.”

He tensed when I acknowledged what he was, so he really hated any conversation related to him. That didn’t bode well for getting to know him.

I sighed. “I’m—” Nope, I couldn’t tell him my age without too many questions popping up. “I have—” I couldn’t tell him about my powers, who we were running from, or why we stayed isolated.

“I love chocolate,” I laughed at myself at the pointless fact I provided.

His lips twitched, making me smile again at almost getting him to drop the closed-off expression with my dweebish behavior.

I looked down, playing with the hem of my t-shirt, thinking of something better to mention. Something a bit more real that wouldn’t give away anything too important but still let him in. Why I even wanted to let this handsome stranger in, I didn’t know. But something told me I should.

Or I was just lonely.

“I told you last time I hated my father, and my mother lied to me. Nothing’s changed since then. I’ve…” I glanced up at him, then back down. “I’ve had a pretty difficult life.” What a freaking understatement, but that was the most he’d receive. “Because of things that happened, my mom’s gone overboard on the protection. To the point, running away sounds pretty good.”

“Don’t you dare. Stay here and stay safe,” Aspen demanded.

Was it weird I found it endearing that he wanted me safe even though he snapped at me? Probably. I shouldn’t let him affect me. We didn’t know each other. I didn’t know his intentions or how he kept finding me, but I couldn’t help it. I’d blame it on the fact that my only friend was my mom. This was the most I’d ever talked to someone, besides my mom, since middle school—let alone a guy. Nineteen-years-old and I haven’t even had my first kiss.

“You want me to stay safe, which is curious in itself, but what exactly do you want me to stay safe from?”

Surprise, surprise, he didn’t answer.

I glanced at the ruby angel wing at his neck, smiling. He kept it. I should ask him why he did, but he probably wouldn’t answer. “The necklace I gave you. Did you know it was an amulet to protect me?” If that was what you called it.

“No.” He looked like he was about to take it off.

“Don’t. It doesn’t work anymore. Nor do I want it back. Once upon a time, it had the ability to…” Calm me was my go-to description, but I no longer liked that definition. “Take away extreme emotions that could trigger my powers. My mom doesn’t want me to use them because I’m a danger to myself and all the hiding and running we’ve been doing. But I’m so sick of it.” My voice cracked. “It’s been fight after fight with my mom about my powers, our life, my isolation.” I stared hard into the layer of golden pine needles, refusing to bring my blurry gaze up. “I’m tired. I want to live, to be normal,” I whispered, throwing my burdens at this stranger and most likely freaking him out.

Pine needles crunched and shifted. Tingling fingers tilted my chin until I met the soul-wrenching blue depths of his eyes, finding his angel ring next to a cobalt one. He was double-ringed, like me, meaning he was extremely powerful. Double-ringed angels were rare, or so I read. Each color represented something. But for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what the cobalt signified. I’d have to sneak my mom’s texts again when I got home and check.

“I’m here.”

“Except you don’t talk. Two to three words seems like your limit.”

“I said eight before. Plus, I’m a good listener,” he said, smiling with a lightness I could bask in forever. I was in trouble when he lit my skin on delicious fire brushing my cheek.

I was pretty sure my stomach fluttered out of my body. Aspen had dimples. For one moment, I contemplated that all my isolation made me insane and he was a hallucination. I lifted a hand and poked his cheek. His abrupt laughter did untold things to the hollow ache I’d been living with for most of my life.

Shit. So much trouble.

“Tell me something about yourself.” He stopped laughing. “I’ve lived a life filled with lies and secrets. For once, I want to be in the know. One thing. Tell me one thing,” I begged.

His flat expression and silence killed me. I was so sick of not understanding my life. Things always happened to me, and I was always left in the dark. My mom just started giving me answers, but I lived in a constant state of half-truths and mysteries. I wanted it to stop. I needed it to.

After seconds of watching his jaw clench and unclench, I decided I couldn’t do this and pulled back from his touch.

He latched onto my hand, following me as I stood, making me stay. “The night I found you, I was there that night because”—he heaved a sigh—“I’m your guardian.”

“That’s a bond, right? But what else does it mean?” I remembered seeing the word listed in my mom’s old text. It was in the section of vinculums, right under the word cordistella. But I was too busy reading everything on the romantic cordistella bonds that I never read the two sentences under it for the guardian bond. Before I could, my mom found me and ripped the book out of my hands, locking it away again.

Aspen shook his head. “All I know is we’re bonded, and it’s the reason behind the tingles. I’ve been looking into it with little results.”

I bit my lip. “I think the bond is rare.”

He raised a brow. “How do you know that?”

“I saw the word once in my mom’s old texts, but I only remember seeing how small the entry was, and I’ve come to find that small entries mean the scribes don’t know enough or have enough information on the topic.”

“Can I see the book?”

I snorted. “Not until I find my mom’s new hiding place and unlock whatever new locks she put on her books. Then I’d have to sneak it out of the house without her knowing.” The locks I could handle. With how much time I had on my hands, lock-picking, reading, and training were my main hobbies. But finding the hiding place and sneaking it out, on the other hand, with how close an eye she had on me these days, would be the issue.

He frowned.

“I can try and sneak it out if you give me a week.” That way, we’d get our answers, and he’d have to return.

“Okay,” he said.

I smiled. “When did you know we had a bond? Is that how you found me? Where are you from?”

His frown came back in full force. “You said one thing, Lucille.”

I raised a brow. “You expect to drop a bomb like that on me, and I’ll just shut up? You could’ve given me anything else. I wasn’t looking for the whole moon, only a sliver.”

Those too-blue eyes of his narrowed to slits. He dropped my hand and stepped back, about to bolt.

“You know I could follow you, right?” I already told him I was part angel.

His eyes flashed with fire. “So help me, Lucille. If you follow me, I will chain you to these trees,” he seethed.

I swallowed, taking a step back. “I could just melt them off.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

“I will never come back if you follow me. Never. Stay here and stay safe, and I’ll give you some slivers next week.” Then he left, blurring into the trees, and leaving me with itchy skin at his demanding words.

I popped out of my dream self. The scenes vanished as I sat in a dark area. That was the best way I could explain the odd sensation of not waking up and leaving whatever the hell that was. Maybe, my brain needed a safe spot alone to make sense of all the bullshit I witnessed. Aspen couldn’t be my guardian, whatever a guardian was, not after everything.

But my dream-walks were memories, not dreams.

So much wasn’t adding up.

My mom and I were running from everyone because of what I was. But even after remembering my last dream-walks, I wasn’t sure who everyone was. Was it my father, the council, the queen, or whoever could sense my powers? Past me remembered my mom’s fear of these people, but were they all after us? Did one of them take my mom?

I needed to control this power and jump to her memory. Maybe all I needed to do was focus on her.

Before I could try, the temperature in my head dropped, and it didn’t feel like I was alone anymore.

My muscles spasmed from the subzero temperature. I didn’t think that was possible without a body.

“Hello?” I called out.

“There you are,” a deep voice said, echoing in the cavern of my mind.

“Who’s there?”

He didn’t answer at first, giving me a moment to question my mental stability. Actually, I didn’t think I ever stopped after the first instance of voices in my head.

“My sweet Lucille, it’s been a long time since we last talked,” he stated calmly, temperature plummeting. Frostbite was a real possibility.

“How do you know my name? Who are you?”

“No one you know yet. We’ve talked once before, like this. Don’t you recall?”

“No,” I said.

He hummed as something cold prodded my mind. “No, I suppose not,” he said as the temperature plummeted further. I couldn’t feel my hands or feet. “You have Nerium poison lingering in your system.”

That’s what Marcus put in the IVs?

“You said Marcus did this to you?” The slow, vicious words had me wishing I could wake up. Especially since he just read my mind, and I wasn’t a fan.

“Yes. To weaken me for his queen.” Or so I assumed.

“He no longer works for the Tenebrous Queen.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have eyes and ears everywhere. There’s very little I don’t know.” Little picks tormented my arms at the ominous way he spoke.

“Do you know who he does work for? Or how long he hasn’t been working for the Tenebrous Queen?”

“Months. But they only found out he was a traitor recently when he fled.”

Months? So the queen didn’t have Marcus lock me in that room. But if it wasn’t her, then who was it?

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

“You’re trying to figure out who took me? Why?” How did I know this wasn’t all a lie or a game?

“I have no reason to lie or play games.”

The fact that I couldn’t think without an invasion of my thoughts made me itchy. Ice cracked in my ears like an iced-over lake warming. My teeth stopped chattering. Thank heaven.

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather you explain why you’re here, who you are, and why you’re looking for who took me,” I snapped.

The slightest bit of warmth I garnered fled.

“I don’t take kindly to your tone,” he said, inches away from my face. His breath slithered into my nose and froze all the moisture. Every time I breathed, it felt like I inhaled gaseous ice, freezing me from the inside out.

“I just want answers,” I whispered, afraid that if I pissed him off further, I’d die of hypothermia in this dark dream landscape and never wake up.

“You will not die. Although the fact you do not use more of your gifts is off-putting and quite concerning.”

I opened my mouth to snap back at his patronizing tone, forgetting my fear, when he cut me off.

“I don’t care to hear excuses. Let’s get on with your answers. Who am I? Irrelevant, for now. Why are we looking for who took you? Because my sweet Lucille, we have similar interests. One being on who took Saraqael and why. The next being why I’m here now, which is to help you escape, and there are others, but you’re not ready for them.”

My heart raced at his words. He was looking for my mom.

“I’ve been looking for both of you. But after Marcus’s slipup and my gain, it seems that the worthless underling has learned his lesson because we have yet to find him or his new employer, who we believe may have Saraqael.”

“Why do you care about my mom?” Or me, for that matter.

“I have my reasons.”

Goosebumps slithered down my neck at the smile in his words, while the words themselves had me curling my lip. I despised the fact that I had yet another puzzle to figure out. The constant mysteries and lack of control I had over my life enraged me.

“I despise your weakness and ineptitude. I guess we’re both found wanting.”

The tickling itches intensified, strumming the cord of crashing ice, eradicating the cold and my fear of this man. My purple flame sprung from my fingers, licking up my metaphorical hands.

“Well, well, well, she has a backbone after all. Good. If you’re going to escape, you’ll need it.”

“And how the hell am I going to do that?” Brock can sense me. He had caught me twice now, and Aspen—How did Aspen catch me?

“Is this what I have to work with? A weak-willed little wimp who tried to escape a few times and is now giving up?”

I was getting really sick of this whole invasion of my thoughts. Did he not realize from invading my thoughts that the last escape was my last chance? They would never let me out of their sights now.

“Go to hell”

He laughed. Abruptly, icy fingers gripped my chin, making this seem more real. “What did I say about speaking to me with that tone?”

I almost cursed him and his punishing grip. To hell with him and his manhandling claws of ice. I didn’t like being degraded by some condescending voice in my head, real or not.

The music of ice and its glorious destruction pounded in my ears, spreading the itch to my shoulders and up my neck to my chin. Instead of icy claws gripping my face, they turned to warm fingers. Odd.

“There she is,” he said, smug, letting go. “She is who I’m looking for. She is who will get you out. With my guidance, of course.”

“What about Brock and Aspen?”

“I’ll take care of the Searcher. The prince I’m still working on.”

“The Searcher?”

“Brockalian. His powers were used to find dissenters and spies in angel ranks. When he fell, the disgusting angel switched sides and used his skills to cart unsuspecting angels to the Tenebrous Queen.”

“Okay, say I believe everything you’re saying, and you can help me escape. What about after? Where do I go? We don’t know where my mom is yet. And what if I don’t remember this when I wake up?”

Although, lately, I’d been remembering more of my dream-walks, if not all.

“The Nerium poison only disrupted your past memories. But seeing as it’s still in your system, I’ll have my general make sure you don’t forget this. As for the rest, we’ll talk more tomorrow and plan your escape for tomorrow night. Let’s see what you’re capable of.”

That sounded ominous.

“Then we’ll find my mom?” But as the frigid air warmed and the silence grew, I knew he was gone.

The dark cavern of my mind released me, and my eyes opened.

Groaning, I shifted on my back. Small pebbles and sticks dug into my spine and bony butt, and now my side. I glared at the single pad and blanket underneath me, noticing a layer of white coating my area. My brows scrunched.

What—

A flash of purple caught my eyes right before it sank into my skin.

Ice crystals spread out from where I lay, dispersed in a circle. Inch by inch, it melted, retreating to me.

I looked over at Aspen and the frost surrounding his sleeping form. I remembered all the thoughts and feelings from my dream-walk—the handsome stranger, my mom, our fights, our potential enemies, the fact that I had a father my mom was scared of, and worst of all, an unending desire to leave her for the stranger who now held me captive.

The only thought left in the mess of my mind as I stared at the little spec of silver glinting from the coals around Aspen’s neck was, what the fuck.