A Few Examples of NLP in Use - The Secrets of Mentalists.

Tell me how you speak, and I will tell you who you are

To be in tune with the spectator speaking to them, certain mentalists manage to identify the register the person is using, to recognize their “internal representation system.” This is the set of words—verbs, adjectives, and so on—that belong to the sensory register a person uses when expressing themselves. These are generally classified into four broad categories: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and olfactory-gustatory.

Visual: to see, to distinguish, to visualize, to clarify, at first sight, overview, and so on.

Auditory: to hear, to tell, that sounds right, of course, in other words, to have a little bird tell you, and so on.

Kinesthetic: feeling, to have one’s feet on the ground, to lend a hand, sensitive, palpable, to take matters into one’s own hands, to jump from one thing to another, and so on.

Olfactory-gustatory: on today’s menu, it is no piece of cake, to make one’s mouth water, spicy, to sniff out, something smells fishy, and so on.

Let us imagine a sentence that could easily be said by a person who functions exclusively in the visual mode:

“I can see perfectly what you are alluding to. Your horizon is limited to money problems. All of this may well darken the way we operate.”

Another example, with a person functioning in an auditory-kinesthetic mode:

“What you say sounds right. But I prefer to listen to other points of view, because all of this gives me goosebumps. And yet I had the feeling there were favorable echoes. It is a real shock!”

One final example, with a person functioning in a kinesthetic-olfactory-gustatory mode:

“To make your mouth water, here is the menu for this show. First, we will be in contact with a spectator. And I feel that with him, we have put our finger on a good subject.”

Eye Movements That Betray Us

NLP associates eye movements with six directions; each of them can serve as an indicator for the mentalist. These movements are mostly unconscious and extremely fleeting. When the spectator looks:

Up to the right: they are imagining and constructing an image.

Up to the left: they are remembering an image.

Sideways to the right: they are constructing a sound.

Sideways to the left: they are remembering a sound—for example, the ringing of the church bell in the village of their childhood.

Down to the right: they are attentive to touch and physical sensations.

Down to the left: they are talking to themselves internally—for example, wondering what gesture they should make.

This interpretive grid, although appealing, has nevertheless been challenged by various studies. These eye movements should therefore be considered only one additional indicator among several different parameters for analyzing a spectator.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

If you are face to face with someone, you can use what is known as the mirror technique, which means matching your position to the other person’s. Reflecting someone’s own image back to them is called synchronization.

The elements that can be synchronized are of two types: verbal and nonverbal. Verbal elements concern the form of speech, such as turns of phrase. Nonverbal elements concern general posture—standing, leaning, and so on—gestures, the voice, matching the same pace and vocal intensity, as well as facial expressions and breathing. If, for example, the person tilts their head slightly, do the same; if their hands are placed on the table in a certain position, place yours in the same way.

This technique, well known among salespeople, tends to strengthen the feeling of sympathy toward you: we make the same gestures, therefore we understand each other better. During important negotiations, this technique is often used, in addition to being “inside the head” of one’s interlocutor in order to better anticipate and understand their expectations.

However, practice it sparingly: if the other person realizes that you are shamelessly imitating them, it may irritate them. Note that it is not necessary to synchronize everything: three or four actions are more than enough.