Chapter 7: Happiness is a Whore - Sorry, You're Not My Type

Lover’s Point, aka Canteen, Rajhans College

27th August, 2012

It’s never easy for a heart to find an easy path. It wanders every time. In all relationships, someone’s sentiments get hurt. Certain expectations remain unfulfilled. When these expectations are ignored or left unfulfilled, a sense of betrayal overcomes us. However, the truth is that if we put our heart aside for a moment, we realize that our partner was not even aware of these expectations that needed fulfilment in the first place.

Anurag had some expectations from Anamika and wanted to see them fulfilled. But when his expectations were shattered, it hurt his ego. It was probably the first time a girl had categorically rejected his advances Earlier, it was always him who broke up with the girl and never the other way around. Anamika had wanted it to be a light-hearted passing affair. She hadn’t expected things to get so serious. Her expectations were hurt too. These expectations are probably driven by notions in a person’s mind about how a perfect lover behaves. There is no harm in having such expectations of your partner. However, if we expect our partner to fulfil them every time, then it’s our duty to let them know what we expect from the relationship and not assume they will know it by themselves.

Anamika should have talked to him about his expectations quite early to avoid all the chaos. Now she was hurt. It was visible from her face. Vikrant sensed it when they both were eating snacks in the canteen.

‘Is anything the matter? Why are your eyes so swollen?’ Vikrant asked her with a concerned expression.

‘Nothing.’

‘Did Anurag say anything to you? Or Yuvi?’

She couldn’t hold it in anymore and started weeping in the canteen in front of everyone. Vikrant took her near a corner and asked her what had happened exactly. She narrated everything that had happened the day before in the movie hall as well as at Anurag’s place. Vikrant tried his best to comfort her and gave her a shoulder to cry on. He kept making her remember the real reason behind her relationship and advised her to forget about it and move on.

‘Just because he said wrong stuff about you doesn’t mean it’s true. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. If you hardly care about that person, then why are you fussing over it so much? People will keep making wrong allegations at you. You just have to listen from one ear and take it out from the other. If they have a dirty mind, then so be it. We can’t start thinking like them. Then what will be the difference between them and us? Just chill. You deserve someone better,’ Vikrant consoled her.

‘I never slept with…’ muttered Anamika but Vikrant cut her short.

‘I know you very well. Even Yuvi doesn’t know you as well as me. So relax Anamika. I just said that you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Those who are your true friends will always believe in you. Just show the middle finger to all the rest. They don’t deserve to be in your life.’

‘I am hurt not because Anurag didn’t try to stop me or ask if I reached home, I am hurt because he thought I was a slut. I have never done such a thing in my life! He was hurling wrongful accusations at me. If you would have been in my place, you would have known how difficult it was for me to overcome the fear of ragging. How difficult it was to tell my parents not to worry about me and that they won’t lose their other child too,’ she said sobbing loudly.

‘This is just a temporary phase. Don’t think too much about it. See, even I am single. You can go out with me if you want. We both go to the same college and we both love music. We have amazing chemistry,’ Vikrant teased her trying to lighten the mood.

‘Vikrant shut up. What will happen to your metro girl then? She will run away even before you make the first move,’ Anamika said managing to smile a little.

‘So what? I will try my first kiss on you. You can teach me the correct way to do it. Come on, let’s try. Your place or mine?’ Vikrant said holding her hand firmly.

‘Stop it, you asshole.’ She pinched him hard on his arms.

‘I love you Anamika. I really do. I am your prince charming,’ Vikrant kept teasing her all the way to the gate of the college. ‘Anamika… No one will love you more than me. Trust me.’

She threw small pebbles at him in protest. Vikrant smiled and hugged her. He had managed to make her smile. Anamika shed the last tear and left the college premises with Vikrant. They headed towards the metro station. Vikrant pulled her cheeks and her ponytail.

You live and learn from every mistake you make. Anamika had learnt a few things like overcoming her fear. Though she was expecting Anurag to call her and pounce on her, that didn’t happen. Vikrant stood by her and supported her by telling her that she was different in her own unique way and that her tattoos were extremely seductive. Anamika didn’t take his compliments seriously as she knew Vikrant said all those crazy things just to make her smile. She had found a friend of a lifetime in Vikrant. No other friend could do what he did for her—no matter how weird it seemed. They always had fun together and no other friend could understand her better. True friendship like theirs should be treasured forever. And they not only did that but also respected each other’s feelings and lifestyle.

* * *

‘I never thought travelling in the metro would be so blissful. And never in my wildest fantasy did I imagine that I would meet my girl in the metro. A girl whose name is also a mystery for me right now,’ Vikrant said to Anamika entering the metro.

‘It’s okay, baby. I am there for you.’

It was Anamika’s turn to tease him now. He looked around to see if he could spot that gorgeous face again but she was nowhere to be seen. Then to his luck, he saw the same girl running towards the metro they had boarded. To his relief, she was able to get on the metro just before the doors shut. Luckily, they were in the same compartment. His heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe his luck. For a second, he thought he was daydreaming.

‘She is here. Oh God, she is here. Fuck! Fuck! I wish I could talk to her,’ Vikrant whispered into Anamika’s ears.

‘Who? Are you drunk?’ she asked.

‘Yaar, the same girl. The metro girl. She is here.’

‘Where?’

‘The girl standing at the connecting door. The one in blue,’ Vikrant muttered in excitement.

She was dressed in a blue salwar kameez. Her smooth skin glowed in the yellow light and her flawless eyes shone. As she tied her hair into a ponytail, he kept gazing at her, mesmerized by her actions.

‘Are you sure that’s her?’ Anamika was confused.

‘Of course, I am,’ Vikrant blushed.

‘Dumbass. Do you even know that she is from our college? She is our senior,’ Anamika exclaimed.

Of course she was! All the pieces of the puzzle fit perfectly now. That’s why she could enter the college premises during the show and got entry to their performance and that’s why he always saw her take the metro.

‘How do you know?’ he asked.

‘It’s a long story. This is not the time to discuss it. Let’s talk to her. It’s now or never,’ Anamika said getting up from her seat.

Vikrant’s heartbeats increased and he felt like the blood would come oozing out of his veins any moment. As she went near her, he thought of hiding behind the crowd so she couldn’t see him because he feared rejection. Anamika caught hold of him by the collar and dragged him along. They were now standing face to face with the metro girl. He got goosebumps as their eyes met for the second time. It was for the first time he was seeing her so close. He wanted to take her in his arms, hug her, kiss her, and tell her ‘You are the one I was looking for and now that I have found you don’t go away from me. Don’t ignore my request and be with me forever! I will always love you passionately—just the way you want. Will you be my better half?’

‘Hi. I am Anamika. From the band VAYU. I hope you’ve heard of me,’ she declared and waited for her response.

‘What do you want?’ she replied.

Vikrant was stunned. Such a cold reaction from his dream girl? The one who looked so cute and innocent? Looking at her, no one could predict she would be so rude with a stranger who was talking to her for the first time. Or maybe not! A thought struck him. Why did Anamika say that she knew her? Did the two have a connection?

‘I want to talk to you. May I? If you permit,’ Anamika added.

‘Tell me fast. I don’t have time,’ she replied again in the same rude tone.

Vikrant was hearing his dream girl’s voice for the first time but somehow he didn’t like the tone.

‘Look, I know that you are aware of everything. But you are taking things the wrong way. He is not serious about this relationship,’ Anamika stated and looked at Vikrant.

‘What the fuck!’ Vikrant muttered.

‘Sssh. Let me talk,’ Anamika interrupted and continued, ‘Believe me, he is not serious about this relationship and nor can he get serious with anyone. He just wants… Leave it. I am here to talk about something else,’ Anamika said in a husky voice.

Anamika had left Vikrant completely speechless, clueless, and motionless. What was happening was beyond him.

‘Please, can you be a little quick? I don’t have so much time,’ she muttered again.

Her rudeness was getting on Vikrant’s nerves and he finally broke the silence. He knew that if he did not speak at that moment, she would think he was a coward and would never take him seriously.

‘Actually, I wanted to have a word with you. Can we be friends? Or slightly more than that? Don’t take this the wrong way,’ Vikrant stammered.

She understood what Anamika and Vikrant were trying to say. It really pissed her off and she remained silent for a minute. This silence was probably an indication of something horrible coming Vikrant’s way. After a lot of hesitation, she finally spoke. Rather pounced on her.

‘Look Anamika. Whatever you have done is enough. Now I don’t want your sympathy. Please leave me alone. There is no need to introduce me to strangers showing you care. I am not so desperate that I will go around sleeping with the first boy I meet. As you know, I have already faced a lot because of you. Now I don’t want any more trouble. So please stay out of my way,’ she shouted.

‘You are misunderstanding me. Please…’ Anamika replied but was interrupted in between.

‘I told you to stay away. Do you get that or not? It’s because of you that I got insulted so badly. Because of you that bastard slapped me. If you would not have come in between us, Anamika, I would have still been Anurag’s girlfriend. It was all because of you, you bitch. Don’t try to play these mind games with me. Did Anurag send you saying Sanaya is hurt and please look for some decent guy for him? You thought that you would introduce me to this guy who is popular because of your band and I would readily say yes? Oh please! I am not as cheap as you. So STAY AWAY!’

As she tried to run away, Anamika held her hand and pulled her back. The other people in the metro were having a good time at their expense. After a long list of accusations and blame games, they parted ways. Moments later, their station arrived and both Anamika and Vikrant got down. Her name hit him hard. Sanaya. He had heard it from Yuvi. He didn’t expect Sanaya to be the girl in the metro! All his dreams were shattered in a second.

Sanaya! Sanaya! Sanaya! Anurag’s Ex-Girlfriend. He kept repeating those words over and over again. The picture was now clear. How badly he wished to be there in the canteen when Yuvi had met Anurag’s Ex-girlfriend Sanaya. That very moment he would have known his dream girl was none other than Sanaya! Firstly, Anamika had decided to move on from Anurag and now if Vikrant would have approached Sanaya, Anurag would have lost it. How unfair was destiny. There is a saying ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ But that did not hold true for Sanaya. His dream girl was out of his sight, but he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He had started loving her and erasing all those dreams in a day was impossible for him.

Anamika was caught in between all the mess. She felt that because of her, Vikrant’s love story had ended even without beginning. She ended hers with Anurag on her own will. Sanaya unnecessarily cursed her without knowing the reality. If Anurag was violent with Sanaya then he was violent with Anamika too. It’s her luck she managed to escape in time! Her relationship with Anurag had become a barrier for Vikrant.

One moment is all it takes for your world to collapse, crash, and then burn. Happiness is a whore. It lures you in and before you know it, you’re spreading your legs for her. And it fucks you. Leaves you hurt and devastated.

* * *

Mia Bella

15th September, 2013, Around 3.30 am

‘Oh gosh! That metro girl was Sanaya! You had absolutely no clue she was from your college? I mean you had never seen her in the college premises?’ I asked him with a look of surprise.

‘I know it’s strange. But I never paid attention to anyone in college apart from my band group and a few classmates. So knowing about her was next to impossible. We had so many students in our batch itself that I never interacted with and Sanaya was from our senior batch. So there was no possibility of me knowing her,’ Vikrant added.

‘But Yuvi never told you?’ Sakshi questioned.

‘We never discussed this topic in detail. Rather, I never told them about it. The only time I discussed her with them was when I had walked out on the performance before the show to follow her and had to justify my sudden departure to them later. They were not even aware that I loved some girl they knew about,’ Vikrant replied taking the last sip of his drink.

The three of them were experiencing so many things in such a short space of time that the listeners were bowled over.

Every decision that we take leads us down a different road. Every decision has some significant impact on our life. Vikrant didn’t have any choice. He had to make a decision whether to proceed ahead in his love story or apply breaks to it. He had to be sure about his decision as it would have a deep impact on their lives.

We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave. Love doesn’t give us the license to own a person. When a relationship of love is developed, a bond of trust is formed. There is an unspoken agreement that the two are committed to each other and will not cheat. So when one of them chooses to be intimate with another person, they break all the bonds of trust. Sanaya felt the same as Anurag had cheated on her with Anamika. Within no time he had switched over to someone else, like he was just waiting for their relationship to end. Did he find something in Anamika that was missing in Sanaya? Sanaya had even moved on but thinking of the memories still hurt. She was not yet aware that Anurag had tried to hurt Anamika.

‘You did not approach Sanaya after that?’ Sakshi asked.

‘I thought we would land in a big mess if I approached her. I still loved her and wanted her to be mine even after knowing that she was my senior and Anurag’s ex-girlfriend. I was ready to accept her the way she was because I knew that she was hurt and had gone through a lot at that time. I thought about her situation and realized she wasn’t to be blamed for it. Anyone else would have reacted the same way.’

‘You are one strong champ. To accept the things as they are is never easy. You still craved for Sanaya’s love. I respect such people in my life as I know how it feels when your loved ones walk away from your life,’ I said getting sentimental.

We are made up of different personas and to show your real self to the world is always difficult. To accept reality is a challenge. But life brings you to a stage where you need to accept the hardest of truths and move on for those who still love you and want you in their lives. Vikrant was one of them. He knew that Sanaya was Anurag’s girlfriend and taking a chance on her would be risky for the entire band. He decided to take a back seat but didn’t erase her thoughts completely from his mind.

‘Did Anamika break up with Anurag that night?’ Sakshi asked Vikrant.

‘Anamika didn’t like the way Anurag treated her. She was not a sex toy, God dammit. He had tried to get physical with her against her will. Now that’s not the right way to prove your manhood or treat your girlfriend. He later on claimed that he truly loved Anamika and was sorry for that night but Anamika didn’t give a fuck.’

‘You mean he approached her later?’ I asked curiously.

‘Yes. He did. Not the next day. Anamika expected him to approach her the next day but that didn’t happen. In fact on Monday, 27th August, we met Sanaya in the metro as I told you before. I knew things would get worse. Anamika had unknowingly disclosed to Sanaya that she never wanted a long-term relationship. Sanaya wanted an opportunity to show her superiority over Anurag and she got that.’

‘How bitchy is that. Why the hell did she tell Anurag about it when she hardly cared?’ I shouted.

‘Girls will be girls, after all,’ he smiled and continued, ‘Ask Sakshi what she would have done in case she would have got to know that her ex-boyfriend was dating a girl who never loved him but just used him as a protective shield? She would have told him he was a loser. Sanaya did the same.’

I still wondered what Sanaya was going to gain from it. I guessed that this would be the only reason that the band performance got screwed. I was curious to know Anurag’s reaction.

‘Then what happened? Did Anurag hit…’ I asked but Vikrant interrupted.

‘No. He tried to. As he got to know the dark reality behind their relationship, he approached Anamika the next day with his group of friends. He abused her badly and tried to pounce on her. Yuvi was unavailable that time in college but luckily I was present. There were some blows exchanged and before the situation could get worse, some students stopped both parties. Anurag left the place and didn’t come in her way again. Anamika didn’t react to the entire scenario but was worried about how Yuvi would react once he came to know about it.’

‘Oh yes. He had already warned her many times,’ Sakshi said.

‘I think Yuvi and Kashish were the luckiest. They had a smooth relationship and everything was going well. Isn’t it?’ I smiled.

‘Yes. You are right. They were one such couple whom you could look up to. Kashish stood by him whenever he needed her and that is what you expect from your love,’ Vikrant added.

Taking care of a man is not a tough job. All you need to do is pamper him and stay by him when he needs you. No other special gifts are needed. However, taking care of a woman is a challenging job. This is especially true if you are her boyfriend and trying to figure out what she wants. Yuvi had managed to do that for a long period. Anamika wished for someone like Yuvi who could lighten her life. Vikrant craved for his love Sanaya to walk into his life and make his life worth living. Sanaya had moved on but was not ready to accept Vikrant’s proposal. Anurag was suffering the same pain of betrayal that he had given to other girls in the past. Now when he had really started loving Anamika, he had got a slap on his face. The sound of that slap echoed so loudly that it hurt his ego.

None of us knew whether they would really be together or end upalone. If they did meet, then what would be the outcome?

‘Vikrant, tell me one thing. Did all this affect your band? What happened later?’

‘Yes it did. It not only affected us, it ripped us apart.’ He closed his eyes and I could see tears rolling down.