Chapter 32 - The Husband I Buried

Now

Jessica leaned back on her stool, stretching to her full height, trying to ignore Keith’s stare.

‘All right,’ she said, voice careful. ‘So, you want to know about psychological conditioning in the military.’

‘Nah,’ said Keith, waving a hand. ‘I’m familiar with the conditioning part. We want to know how some people might respond to it. Like if sometimes it can make people apathetic.’

‘OK,’ said Jessica. ‘So, you already know the military trains its soldiers to respond automatically to commands, to suppress emotional responses, to follow orders under extreme stress. It’s not just discipline – it’s almost like rewiring the brain to cope under extreme conditions, so it doesn’t freeze.’

My eyes sharp, the beer starting to wear off, I was absorbing every word Jessica said.

‘Could that same training be weaponized to persuade a soldier to attack an innocent person?’

Jessica frowned. ‘It’s possible. If the conditioning is extreme. Combined with trauma or manipulation, people can act against their moral compass. PTSD doesn’t make someone violent automatically, but conditioning and trauma together . . . they can create obedience, aggression, even dissociation from their own actions.’

Keith thumped the table, voice urgent. ‘That’s exactly it. Maybe someone broke him down.’

Jessica turned in her seat. ‘OK. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.’ Her gaze homed in on me. ‘Why did you bring me down here in the middle of the night to ask me about this? Did Luis ever hurt you, Kenzie?’ she asked.

A look passed between me and Keith. How much were we willing to tell Jessica? Right now, we were trying to figure out why Luis had walked out on his own life.

‘No,’ I said carefully. ‘There was one time . . . He’d just woken from a nightmare. He wasn’t really awake. He . . . he grabbed me by the throat. But only for a moment. He didn’t know it was me. When he realized, he was . . . terrified at what he’d done.’

Jessica’s face tightened, unease flashing in her eyes. ‘A trigger might cause that reaction, like a dream,’ she said softly. ‘Something sets him off, he responds violently without realizing why. It’s a sleep-induced reaction. He isn’t aware of it while he’s doing it. It can be a very scary experience.’

Keith nodded sharply. ‘Exactly. And that’s why we wanted to talk to you, Doc.’

Jessica frowned, glancing at me. ‘Why do you want to know about this now, when . . .’ She didn’t need to finish her sentence. When he’s dead.

‘If he’s alive,’ said Keith, ‘he could be different to how he was before. We don’t know what he’s caught up in, but I’ve heard things. Not officially, but . . .’

Jessica shot him a look. ‘I understand why Mackenzie wants to believe Luis is alive, but why are you encouraging her?’ she asked.

‘Because,’ said Keith simply, ‘I believe her.’

‘I need to know why he didn’t come home, Jess. And before you tell me it’s stress and whatever else talking—’ I stopped, my voice raw. ‘I know how it sounds, OK? But I’m not crazy.’

Keith leaned in, eyes sharp. ‘OK,’ he said, trying a new angle. ‘Assuming Luis is alive, we need to know how he’s changed. We need to make sure she’s safe.’ He shot me a concerned glance, like he could feel every ounce of fear I was trying to hide.

I could tell Jess still didn’t believe us, but she wasn’t writing it off entirely either. Not anymore.

‘Assuming Luis was alive, that what we’ve told you is a possibility, if he came back home, could he be dangerous?’ asked Keith, shooting another worried look my way, like he thought I’d be the first one he came after.

Jessica’s lips pressed into a thin line. ‘If he’s had some kind of break, it’s possible. But that’s very rare. You would probably notice the deterioration over time.’

Keith’s eyes lit up, like she’d just made a good point. ‘Time? Like four or five months?’ He clasped his hands, cracked his knuckles. ‘That’s how long he’s been gone, right?’

Jessica ignored him, fixing her gaze on me. ‘And you’re sure it was him? You saw Luis?’

‘I saw Luis,’ I said firmly, heart hammering. ‘Unless he has an identical twin he never told me about. The only thing that made me doubt it for even a second is the fact that he didn’t seem to know me. He didn’t react to me at all.’

Keith leaned back, finally looking satisfied. ‘Then we find him. Confirm it was Luis for the princess here.’ He gave a little tilt of his head toward Jessica.

Jessica shot him a look that could cut glass.

‘I’ve already searched,’ I said. I’d checked out a few things while I was going through our bank account. ‘Wherever he is, he’s not going by Luis. He could have changed his name, or he’s lying low.’ I pressed a hand to my temple, the noise in the bar suddenly overwhelming. ‘I don’t know what to think. Maybe he wants to disappear, or he’s hiding.’

I knew there were worse options.

‘Or maybe, wherever he is, someone is stopping him from talking to Mackenzie,’ said Keith, voicing what I couldn’t.

‘I’m not sure we should be digging around in this,’ said Jessica. ‘Even if Luis is alive, why would he want to change his name and disappear?’ Her eyes darted left and right. This conversation was making her nervous. ‘Maybe he had a reason for disappearing, and he doesn’t want to be found.’

‘A reason?’ I said, suddenly angry. ‘For letting me think he’s dead?’

‘Calm down.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s not likely, is it?’

I took a breath. I did need to calm down. Getting mad at Jess wasn’t going to help anything. ‘I just need to make sure he’s all right and then I’ll leave it alone. If he doesn’t want to be a part of my life anymore, that’s fine. I’ll respect that.’

Keith rapped on the table. ‘Then let’s get to work, start mapping out what we know. Where he was when you saw him, and anything else we can put together. Maybe we can figure this out.’ Jessica rubbed her temples, muttering under her breath, ‘I feel like I just walked into a war zone.’

I gave a grim smile. ‘More like a minefield.’

Jess yawned. It was getting late.

‘Maybe we should come up with a strategy somewhere a little quieter. Like my house,’ I said.