Chapter 68 - The Husband I Buried

Now

Jess’s voice was practical, calm. ‘I’ll call emergency services again, check they’re on their way,’ she said. I looked down at Luis, pale and shaking, his blood soaked into my hands, and willed the paramedics to get here faster.

Finally, the sirens arrived. I took Luis’s hand, pressing hard against the wound with the other, as the paramedics rushed in, voices overlapping, their hands replacing mine.

He had stopped trying to talk, closing his eyes.

‘Stay with me,’ I said fiercely. ‘You don’t get to disappear again.’

His lips twitched, the ghost of a smile. ‘Still giving orders.’

‘I’m good at it,’ I said, tears finally breaking free. ‘It used to be one of the things you loved about me.’

His fingers tightened weakly around mine. ‘It still is.’

I watched as they lifted him onto the stretcher, my hands red, trying not to think about how much blood he’d lost, or what might have happened if Elena had shot a quarter of an inch to the left.

*

The hospital room smelled like antiseptic and stale coffee. The kind of place where time slowed into something thick and unreal.

Luis lay propped up against white pillows, his skin too pale against the sharp blue of the sheets. Tubes ran from his arm, a monitor ticking softly beside him, each beep a reminder that he was still here. Still breathing.

I sat in the chair beside his bed, my coat folded on my lap. It had taken me a while to even touch him. I didn’t know if I was allowed to. Now, my muscles were stiff from leaning over the chair to hold his hand while he slept.

The headlines were clean.

WELLNESS INSTITUTE UNDER INVESTIGATION

PROMINENT FIGURES LINKED TO EXPERIMENTAL PROGRAM

SHOOTING LEAVES ONE DEAD, ONE INJURED

Dr. Avery was named.

Rebecca – Elena – had been charged with murder.

The Coterie Institute was described as a ‘coercive psychological environment’, its methods under scrutiny, its funding frozen.

Luis was listed as a victim.

I wasn’t mentioned at all.

*

When Luis woke up, he smiled, watching me quietly for a long time.

I didn’t want to break the moment. Once one of us spoke, I knew it would be over.

‘Are you still mad at me?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’

Silence fell between us, filled only by the slow rhythm of the machines. Outside the window, a new day was bleeding into the sky.

‘I need you to hear this from me,’ he said finally. ‘You won’t find it in a police report, or in some business records.’

My jaw tightened.

He swallowed. Winced slightly as he shifted. ‘I didn’t fake my death to protect you,’ he said. ‘Or to save you. I need you to know that.’

Something cold settled in my chest.

‘I did it because I needed to know who you really were. How far you’d go to win.’

I laughed once, sharp and humorless. ‘That’s rich.’

‘I know,’ he said. ‘But it’s the truth.’

He turned his head toward the window, as if it were easier not to look at me. ‘You were getting closer. Asking the wrong questions. And I knew what they’d do to you if you found out before you were ready to join.’

My pulse thudded in my ears.

‘You mean when I confronted you,’ I said. ‘When I asked you why your name kept showing up in Elizabeth’s sealed files. When you told me it was nothing.’

‘It wasn’t nothing,’ he said quietly. ‘And you knew it. You were never going to let it go, but it was bigger than that.’

I stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. ‘You don’t get to rewrite this. You lied to me. You stonewalled me. You made me feel like I was losing my fucking mind, while you had everyone dancing around me.’

He flinched at that just slightly, nowhere near as uncomfortable as he should be about what he’d done.

‘I didn’t think you’d risk my life,’ he said.

The room went very still.

‘I didn’t plan it,’ I said, the words coming out flat. ‘I didn’t wake up that morning thinking, today I’m going to kill my husband. I just—’ My voice broke despite myself. ‘I couldn’t let you take me down with you.’

He smiled. ‘And you’re not going to let them do it either.’

‘Luis, do they have contacts in the media?’ I asked.

‘Sure. Why?’

I found the article I was reading earlier. No mention of me.

I turned it to show Luis. ‘This isn’t over. They’re writing me out of what happened so they can kill me.’

‘You exposed them,’ he said.

‘They exposed themselves,’ I corrected.

‘Let me help you,’ he says, but I’ve already got my keys and coat in hand.

I stood by his bedside. ‘I don’t forgive you,’ I said. ‘And I don’t absolve myself either.’

He nodded, as if he’d expected that.

‘But,’ I added, my voice low, steady, ‘you stepped in front of a gun for me and that meant something, so thank you for that.’

His hand shifted on the bed, stopping just short of mine.

I didn’t take it. But I didn’t pull away either.

‘I kept thinking this was something you pulled me into,’ I said quietly. ‘But that’s not true. Because you’re right, I do love to win. That’s why I didn’t walk away.’

Silence filled the space between us. Heavier than before.

‘Do you think that makes you like us?’ he asked.

I held his gaze.

‘No,’ I said.

I leaned over and kissed him one last time.

Because I understood now, why I’d held on.

It was finally time to let go.