Chapter 16: NOW - The Safe Room

Sophie flops on top of the snow and stretches out her arms and legs. Her grinning mouth sits below a bright red button nose.

“It’s your turn now, Mummy. You have to make an angel too. Those are the rules.”

I find a fresh patch of snow in the garden and lie down, spreading my arms and legs. Sophie comes to watch, giggling at her mother sprawling around in the snow.

“Help an old lady up, will you?” I reach out for her hand and pretend that she’s pulling me up. Then I grab my back and limp around for a few steps making exaggerated moaning sounds.

Sophie loses it, doubling over and cackling.

“Mummy, you are sooo stupid.”

“Mummy is stupid. It’s freezing out here.” I raise my face to the sky and let some of the snowflakes land on my cheeks. “Come on, it’s getting dark now, chick. Shall we have pizzas and watch a movie?”

“No, I think we should have ten more minutes. We haven’t finished building Olaf yet.” She points a gloved hand at the snowman who has no eyes.

“All right. Come on.”

We find pebbles for his eyes and sticks for his arms, and Sophie makes me put on a scarf to keep him warm. As the last of the sun sets, Sophie blows him a kiss, and we finally return to the house for pizzas. By now I’m chilled to the bone. I boost the heating, rub my hands together and even open the oven for a minute once it’s hot.

“Right, missus, go put on your warmest PJs and slippers. We’ll snuggle under the blankets on the sofa.”

“Okay.” She yawns.

“How fast can you do it? Can you get changed in ten minutes?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Yes. I can do it much faster than that!”

“All right. Five minutes? Oh, you think you can do it in four minutes? You’re crazy.”

Sophie’s eyes brighten as she takes on the challenge. It’s a relief to see her smiling again after I ruined the party this morning. On Monday, if this snow clears, I’m going to have to face Heather again after embarrassing myself like that. What am I going to say? What if Sophie isn’t invited to any parties again?

I have to stop watching her at every single birthday party. It’s too much. Most of the other parents are happy to drop off their kids, go for a coffee, and then come back before the end. Me standing there needing to see Sophie for every second isn’t healthy. I have to learn how to let her go.

I shove the pizzas in the oven and pour a glass of red wine. There’s nowhere to go, nowhere to be tonight. Just me and Sophie and the snowstorm outside. I just hope we don’t lose power.

Sophie sprints down the stairs, panting. “I did it!”

“Well done, darling!” I check my watch. “Wow, under four minutes! That’s a new world record.”

I have no idea how long she was upstairs, but it was definitely longer than four minutes. But she’s so proud that it’s worth the white lie. A tsunami of love hits me when I look at her. I wish Ed was here to see this. I wish I could share this moment with him, with anyone, like my family.

Before it dredges up old wounds, I shove the thought away and finish up dinner, cutting the pizzas into slices for our movie night. It’s just after six and the world outside has gone very dark and quiet. Unnervingly so. I close the curtains in the living room, get under a blanket, and place the pizzas out on the coffee table to grab. Sophie decides that we’re going to watch Coco again, for the twentieth time, but I do love the songs so don’t complain. It’s cozy in the living room with just the two of us. The wine makes my muscles unclench. The morning’s events seem like a lifetime ago. I finally start to calm down and truly enjoy myself in this moment with my daughter. Soon she’ll be grown up and won’t want to watch movies with her mum anymore.

Then the doorbell rings.

Ding.

Dong.

I tense. It’s after dark now and I’m not expecting anyone at the house. I’m almost certain I haven’t ordered anything online and it just seems strange. Perhaps Emily is back to return the candles, but surely she would need them after dark? Why would she walk all the way up here in a storm like this?

The bell rings a second time.

The sound jolts me.

Sophie immediately knows that I’m afraid and turns to me with her brow furrowed. I plaster on a fake smile.

“I’d best see who that is.”

I tap the app and bring up the camera feed from the gate, angling my phone away from Sophie so that she can’t see.

Sure enough, Emily is standing at the gate. The sight of her makes my blood run cold, because she doesn’t look like she’s hiked up here to return a few candles, she doesn’t even have a coat on. Snowflakes swarm around her, making her come in and out of focus like an apparition. Her blonde hair is starkly white on the night vision camera. But even in the dim light I can make out the bruising on her face, the fresh cut and blood running down from her eyebrow. She’s shivering, holding her bare shoulders, wearing nothing but a satin slip without even shoes. I gasp. She’ll freeze out there.

“Emily,” I say to the microphone. “Are you all right?”

She lurches towards the camera, her hands pleading with me. “Let me in, please! He’s going to kill me. Please!”