Chapter 20: NOW - The Safe Room

Emily is staring at a photograph of me, Ed, and Sophie from before his illness. He has his hand around my waist and Sophie on his hip. We took the photo on holiday in Greece in September, and the air had smelled like salt and cooked fish.

“Your husband?” she asks when I walk in.

“That’s Ed. He died last year of cancer.”

“I’m so sorry.”

I clear my throat and begin removing a pair of jogging bottoms, a hoodie and thick socks from my dresser.

“Would you like to dry your hair? I have a hairdryer in the en-suite bathroom.”

“I’d love to. It’s a beautiful home, by the way. I love the fact that all of the houses on this street are different. Yours is newer than ours and the red brick is so attractive from the outside. You’ve got these lovely high ceilings and ours is cozier with beams and an attic conversion.” She laughed. “Sorry, I’ve got house stuff on the brain. We’ve just been getting quotes for a new kitchen, and I’ve been comparing paint samples. I can’t wait to get started.”

“Sounds lovely.”

I try to keep my voice neutral in tone, but I can’t quite believe that Emily is still thinking about renovating a house with the man who did that to her face.

“I’ll give you some privacy while you change. Have you eaten?”

“No,” she says, touching her stomach. I’m reminded again of the pregnancy. “Actually, I’m starving, but I don’t want to be a bother.”

“How about bread and crackers? Some fruit?”

“You’re a star, thank you so much.”

I find Sophie still on the sofa watching Mallory Towers when I come down. It’s strange to see her so silent and still. The sight of Emily has definitely thrown her for a loop, and I make sure to give her a good squeeze.

“You all right, pumpkin?”

“Yes, Mummy,” she says. “Who is that lady?”

“She lives down the road, darling. You saw her earlier, remember?”

Sophie kicks out her feet and scowls. “Seems like she’s always here now.”

The seriousness in her expression takes me aback. “You don’t like her? Why is that?”

Her eyes drop down. “Don’t know.”

I angle my body, so we’re face to face, watching every twitch of her muscle. “You know you can tell me anything, sweetheart, don’t you? Have you seen Emily somewhere before?”

“She looks like a princess,” Sophie says.

I raise my eyebrows. “I suppose she is very pretty. Does she remind you of someone on television? Or in the movies?”

“No,” she says.

“Okay, but you don’t like her?”

“That’s right.”

I sigh, confused. Sophie isn’t making much sense, but she has been through a lot today and I’m sure she’s just being contrary as a way to act out.

“I just wish it was you, me, and Daddy instead,” she adds.

“You know Emily isn’t going to stay, don’t you?” I reach out and stroke her hair, but she shrinks away from my touch like a cat avoiding human touch. Perhaps she’s still mad at me deep down because of earlier. “Once she’s ready, Emily will go home.”

* * *

She nods. “Did she hit her face? Did she fall down?”

“I think so, chick.”

“It’s like when I fell off my bike.”

“Exactly.”

I brush her hair back and plant a quick kiss on her forehead. Perhaps Sophie is just frustrated about Emily barging in on our evening together and ruining the atmosphere. It’s not Emily’s fault she was injured and it upset Sophie.

“All right, chickadee. One more episode of your show and then it’s bath and bed for you. Got it, girly?”

“Got it, girly,” she parrots.

I laugh and head into the kitchen to plate up cheese and crackers with grapes and sliced sourdough bread. I add half a packet of digestive biscuits and put the kettle on for more tea. A few moments later and Emily joins me in the living room with Sophie, who curls into my body and won’t look at Emily.

“Sorry if I seem a bit scary, Sophie,” she says. “I promise I’m okay, it was just that I fell over and bumped my head.”

“She’s okay,” I reassure Emily. “Today has been a lot. There was a birthday party this morning so lots going on.”

“Was it your birthday, Sophie?” Her panicked face turns to me. “I didn’t ruin her birthday did I?”

I wave a hand. “Oh, no. It was her friend’s party.”

“Yes, but Mummy, you were bad at the party, and everyone stared at us.”

Emily grabs a chunk of Red Leicester and a Ritz cracker. “Oh. Was there booze at this party?”

I laugh. “No. Oh, it’s so embarrassing. I lost sight of Sophie and overreacted. I thought she’d wandered off and got lost but it turned out to be nothing.” I wave a hand. “But I did look a right twat.” I clamp a hand over my mouth surprised that the word slipped out.

“Mummy, you said a bad word and now I’m going to tell Santa on you.”

“Santa? It’s January.”

Emily laughs and I see how pretty she is when she smiles. Her entire face lights up, revealing deep blue eyes under her blonde hair. She is younger than I thought. Thirty was an over-estimation, I think she might be barely twenty-five. No wonder Sophie saw the princess comparison. Emily might be the youngest and prettiest woman she’s met so far.

Sophie’s show finally ends and I take her upstairs for a quick bath and bedtime story. The tired, subdued Sophie is gone, replaced by a wired, excited Sophie. The interruption of Emily turning up to the house threw her at first, but now that she’s acclimatised to it, she seems brighter and more energetic than ever. She leans over my shoulder and reads out the words, mimicking my storytelling voice.

“Come on, now, you have to try and sleep for me. Okay?” I grab her rabbit. “Ready, pumpkin?”

“Night night, Mummy,” she says enthusiastically.

“Night night.”

I’m exhausted myself, coming down the stairs. I can’t believe how much has happened since this morning. First the party, then Emily suddenly being in our lives. And, of course, it’s only been a few days since what happened at the library.

I poke my head into the living room. “Glass of wine? Red? White? Rosé? Bubbles?” I place a hand on my forehead. “Sorry, I forgot about the pregnancy.”

“That’s okay, I can have one. Red if you’ve got it.”

I grab the bottle of Malbec I opened earlier and pour us both a glass.

“I need a stiff drink after today.” Emily takes the glass from me with a smile. She snuggles into the sofa in my hoodie, sweatpants and fuzzy socks.

I take a sip of wine wondering if her husband even lets her drink. Trying to keep it casual, I grab some cheese and crackers and put my feet up on the sofa.

“So how did you and Steve meet?”

“Dating app.” She rolls her eyes. “I know, so boring. We swiped right and the rest was history.”

“Are you newlyweds?”

She takes a bite of cheese and shyly covers her mouth. “We’ve been married like six months.”

“Is he older?”

She pauses. “Yeah.”

I let the silence sit.

“Hey, don’t judge me,” she says.

I sigh. “I’m sorry, I swear I’m not judging you. I am judging him, though.”

“Okay, but that is also judgemental.” She places the wine down and folds her arms. “For one thing, you’ve never even met him. And for another, you have no idea who he is and what our relationship is like.”

I cringe at my own clumsiness. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you angry. It’s not every day that a hurt young pregnant woman turns up at my house terrified that her husband is going to kill her.”

“I made a mistake,” she mutters. “I shouldn’t have come here.” She stands and hovers there in front of the sofa like she can’t decide what to do. Her furtive gaze travels over to the closed curtains and back to me.

I stand, determined to make her stay. “Come on, you can’t go home tonight. You and Steve need time alone while he’s angry.” I want to say that I couldn’t live with myself if she went back to that man and he hurt her again tonight. But I don’t push it.

She plops back down, her expression crumpling in. Then her shoulders bob up and down as the tears come. I move closer, wrapping one arm around someone who is essentially a stranger, and feeling more awkward than ever.

“You’re safe here,” I tell her. “Tomorrow you can figure out what you want to do. If you want to call the police or…” I don’t say the alternative because I don’t want it to exist. “Just think about it, okay? We have a spare room here, you’re more than welcome. Also, this house is like Fort Knox, I have security cameras everywhere and a fence. Don’t worry. You’re safe here.”

But I speak too soon, because as soon as I utter the words, the electricity gives out.