Chapter 6: NOW - The Safe Room

Yvonne lets me leave early to pick Sophie up. We’re not open to the public anyway, and all I can help with is cataloguing the damaged books. That’s not what’s important right now; checking on Sophie is.

I also took up her offer of support and gave Yvonne the landline number to our house. Now she can check in on me if I don’t turn up to work or something happens.

I reach the school gates twenty minutes early, anxiously bouncing my weight from one leg to the other as the other mums and dads gather around. I pull my scarf tighter against the January chill, sensing their eyes on me. It’s generally frowned upon to wait around the gates so early.

A few of the mums from the group chat I’m in say hello and make small talk about the weather. Then I see Heather, Daisy’s mum, arrive. She waves a gloved hand as she approaches, her nose red from the cold air.

“Oh, hi, Amber, I just wondered if Sophie is coming to Daisy’s birthday party next week. I didn’t get an RSVP from you.”

“Sorry, I totally forgot,” I say.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” She waves a hand. “It’s impossible to keep up, isn’t it? It’s next Saturday at eleven. Just in the village hall. We’ve booked a Taylor Swift impersonator. Isn’t that fun?”

“That’s great. Are parents okay to stay?”

She seems surprised. “I mean, sure. But I can handle it if you want to drop off and have a few hours to yourself.”

I open my mouth to tell her I’m too afraid to let Sophie out of my sight right now, but I can’t bring myself to admit it. “I’ll stay. Maybe I can make myself useful.”

She shrugs. “Sure, if that’s what you want. I’m not going to turn down an extra pair of hands!”

We turn back to the school as the doors open and the kids begin filtering out. Daisy is one of the first, so Heather and I say our goodbyes. Another twenty or so kids come out. Some sauntering, others sprinting. Some kids run straight into their parent’s arms. Others wave an art project that requires attention. Others join their mum or dad quietly without fanfare.

My pulse races. With every kid that comes barrelling out of the door, I think about the figure on the CCTV. That expressionless mask and casual gait. I’ve never heard of anyone having a vendetta against a library. They tend to be targeted by young vandals searching for an easy target, but it seems strange that just one man broke into our beloved community centre. I feel like there’s a target on my back. Every muscle in my body, every inch of flesh, feels disconnected, or at least realigned, because deep down I believe that Peter is back.

All the breath rushes out of my lungs when I see Sophie making her way across the playground. She’s chatting away with Fi Aitken, a sweet little girl in a polka dot coat. Maybe Sophie hung back to spend more time with her. Every day Sophie comes home professing a new school pal has become her best friend. Then the next day they’re sworn enemies.

I gather Sophie up in my arms when she trots over, holding her close.

“Too tight, Mummy.”

“Sorry,” I say. “Hold my hand a moment, sweetie, Mummy needs to have a chat with Miss Malik.”

I move us through the throng towards the door, watching as everyone else hurries away to try to beat the traffic. Miss Malik is Sophie’s form tutor and understands what has been happening to me over the years. I need to tell her he might be back, but I also don’t want Sophie to worry.

“Everything all right, Mrs Denton?” she asks, seeing my tense expression.

“Do you have a minute?”

“Absolutely, I just need to wait until the last couple of kids are picked up. Do you want to head into the classroom?”

I thank her and lead Sophie back into the school, walking her through the corridors decorated with colourful art, bulletin boards, and posters. Puppies, kittens, and cartoon art. Flowers and stars and rainbows. Everything bright and good, which is what children should see, they shouldn’t be brought into a dark world.

“What can I do for you, Mrs Denton?” Miss Malik steps into the classroom and closes the door.

I glance at Sophie and back at the teacher. “Is it okay if Sophie plays on my phone for a moment?” I reach into my bag for my phone and a pair of headphones. “Do you want to watch Horrid Henry?”

She nods eagerly.

“Have fun watching your show, Sophie,” Miss Malik says, smiling.

Once Sophie is settled and I’m convinced she can’t hear, I sit down in the chair closest to the teacher’s desk, feeling like a giant sitting on a pea.

“Something happened at my work today.” As I speak, Sophie’s teacher leans closer. “It’s nothing serious, but there was a break-in, and a man appeared on the CCTV cameras. Do you remember what I told you about the man who stalks me?”

Miss Malik nods slowly.

“There’s a chance he might have found me.” I finger the cuff of my blouse, holding back tears. “If that’s the case then I need you to let me know if there are any strange men hanging around.” I remove a photograph from my bag. “If you see this man, call the police. Please don’t let anyone else collect Sophie from school except for me. If anyone tells you that they’re Sophie’s grandmother or aunt, don’t trust them. It’s a lie.”

Miss Malik’s eyebrows rise up towards her hairline, crinkling her forehead. “Of course. I promise I’ll keep an eye out at all times. I’m so sorry you’re going through this; it must be awful.”

I rub my eyes. “Honestly, I might be overreacting. I hope I am. But can you let all the teachers know?”

“I will. We all love Sophie here. She’s such a bright light. We just want her to be safe.” She frowns slightly as though reliving a troubling memory. “There was an incident a few months ago. I forgot all about it until now. One of the dads called the police on a man standing near the playground down the road. It was after school so nothing to do with us, but he did come in and let us know.”

I place a hand on my chest, trying to ease where it feels constricted. “Do you know what this man looked like?”

She shakes her head. “Sorry, no. All I know is that it was brushed over as some sort of misunderstanding. The police spoke to the guy, but he was just a loner. He never came to the park again and everyone moved on.”

“Can you tell me which dad it was?”

Miss Malik bites her lip, considering it. “I think so. I don’t believe it was anything confidential. It was Carlos Almeida, Diego’s father.”

“Okay, thanks so much. Come on, Soph, let’s get you home.”

She lifts her hand for me to take without even taking her eyes off the screen. I chuckle. “Precious moments these, aren’t they? Watching them glued to a device.”

Miss Malik laughs. “Hey, sometimes you have to do what you have to do.”

I nod. She’s right. And if it came to it, I would.