Chapter 15 - A Million Rainbows

It was too cold and too rainy to sit and wait at the elementary school on Thursday. Charlie’s school required the pick-up parents to wait outside. So instead, I found a spot on the bench just inside the front entrance of my school and pulled a book from my bag, deciding I would kill the hour with some reading for Mrs. Ninn.

My eyes were on my book, but I noticed Kyle’s Nikes when he passed in front of me. He said nothing. He just sat down at the opposite end of the bench, being quiet.

We were alone. For the most part. The school was empty, and all the after-school stuff was in session, leaving this small atrium we were in deserted.

“What are you doing?” I said, my nose in my book, pretending not to notice him.

I could see from the corner of my eye that Kyle was smiling.

“I was about to go meet you at the library, but I saw you sitting here,” he said. “What are you doing?”

“I’m waiting for Charlie.”

Kyle tapped his foot on the floor, his hands drumming a nervous, out-of-sync rhythm on his knees. “I finished it,” he said.

I lowered my book. No one was around. It would be fine. “You did? What’d you think?”

“Oh my god,” he said, getting all excited. “The end with f-ing Hallorann, I didn’t expect it.”

Mrs. Torres was sitting behind the glass partition, directly across from us. She lowered her gaze, giving Kyle a stern eye.

I mouthed a sorry to her and twisted on the bench to face Kyle. “So what did you think of Wendy?”

“I liked her. Way less flaky. I mean, everything was different: no twins, no blood-gushing elevator. It didn’t even have that ‘All Work and No Play’ part.”

“Yeah, that’s the biggest disappointment I have with the book,” I said.

“You didn’t mind the hedge animals?”

I shrugged. “No. I liked the hedge animals.”

“Not me. I liked the maze better.”

“So what’s your pick? The movie or the book?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie. I was thinking we could rewatch it Saturday? I know it’s too scary for Charlie, but maybe she could watch a movie in my room?” He rubbed his neck, looking expectant.

“Charlie’s not coming.”

“She’s not coming?” A sly smile popped Kyle’s dimples into place. He leaned sideways, stretching across the bench. “I guess I no longer need that plan to get Charlie out of the room, eh?” He reached and tapped my arm, flashing me a mischievous wink.

“Oh my god, Kyle.” I hit him back. A lot harder. “And I told my mom you were nice.”

He sat up, his smile still big. “You did?”

I was shaking my head, keeping my face straight, trying very hard not to smile back. “Yeah. I did.”

“I am nice,” he said, his expression sobering, his eyes scanning me with something unsaid but sincere behind them. He grabbed the umbrella that was on the bench between us and got up. “And I’ll prove that to you.”

I laughed. “But you’re taking my umbrella.”

“I’m going to be nice and walk you over to get Charlie.” He stretched out his hand.

I shook my head at the hand, but I put my book away and walked side by side with him out the door.

I didn’t realize an away game meant a two-and-a-half-hour drive. I was glad Charlie hadn’t come because she would have had to stop to pee at least twice by the time we reached the school, and Kyle’s friend Matt, who was driving us, hadn’t offered to make any pitstops.

I’d been fine most of the way, but they had made a coffee run before heading out of town, and the pumpkin latte Kyle bought me was now screaming at me.

By the time we made it to the game in Bangor, I was a rattled mess, shaking worse than the tailpipe on Matt’s clunker of a car. The latte, and the ridiculously loud base he had blasted the whole ride over, had worked together to twist me up into a gummy wad of nerves.

“Hey,” I said to Kyle as I climbed out of the backseat. I had already spotted the porta-potties across the parking lot. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom real quick.”

“Yeah, okay.” Kyle’s gaze was narrowed and worried. “Are you all right?”

God, I must have looked like a frenzied wreck. I was shivering and sweaty, and I couldn’t tell if it was because I was hot or cold. I was pretty sure it was mostly that I had to pee. “Yes, I’m good. I’ll be right back,” I said, running off and leaving him—I was out of time.

Kyle was waiting for me when I came out. “Bree, are you okay?” His lips were pressed tight with worry, his brow all scrunchy like he was afraid I was going to steal Matt’s shitty car and drive home without him.

It had been the latte because I felt good. I was a little cold. My flimsy jacket wasn’t cutting it on this chilly autumn night, but Kyle was holding a blanket and I was pretty sure he would share that with me.

I stepped up to him, putting a hand on his arm, not really sure why I was doing it. I glanced around the parking lot, at the lit football field, and at the crowd of spirited fans on the bleachers. I breathed in the crisp Friday night air. “Yeah, I’m good. Really good.”

He placed his hand over mine. The touch, sending every color of the rainbow across my skin. “You’re cold,” he said.

A feeling of warmth swarmed me. The cold wasn’t reaching me anymore. Not a part of me was cold. And this warmth that filled me was new and welcomed, a burst of sunshine reviving a withered soul.

I had wasted so much time just trying to survive, trying to breathe, barely keeping my head above the surface. But tonight, I was floating. Alive. And it wasn’t a struggle.

I wasn’t cold. I was sunburst warm, rainbow warm, hand-holding warm.

Kyle and I were about the same height. He was maybe a tiptoe taller than me, so it wasn’t hard. And I really wanted to.

I leaned into him, and without letting myself overthink it, I kissed his cheek. Real quick. Hardly pressing. Immediately releasing it, even though I wanted to linger there. And his cheek was warm, so in contrast, my lips must have been cold. It was probably awful for him, but for me, it was a million rainbows.

“Dover,” he said, his dimples giving away the smile he was suppressing. He shook his head, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. “Come on. Right here in front of the porta-potties? That does not count as our first kiss.”

I smiled. I loved that he had other plans for a first kiss. “That wasn’t a kiss,” I said. “That was a thank you. For tonight.”

Kyle nodded, bunching his lips thoughtfully. “You always surprise me, Dover.”

“I do?” I inched away, letting go of his arm. “Is that good or bad?”

He reached up and touched his cheek, a smile breaking across it. “So far so good.”

Friday night was the most fun I’d had since I could remember.

If it hadn’t been for the very helpful scoreboard showing the teams were neck and neck, I would have had no idea what was going on in the game.

It didn’t matter.

I was just happy with the warm blanket Kyle had given me and with the popcorn he had gotten me from the concession stand.

And I loved the enthusiasm from the crowd.

And since I felt like I kind of knew Ryan now, I joined in occasionally, cheering for him when it looked like he was doing well.

Kyle got so into the game that he hardly talked to me. He and Matt rambled on and on about whatever was happening on the field, leaving me out of the loop. But he occasionally checked in, making sure I was warm, happy, and having a good time.

I told him I was. I was all those things a thousand times over.

It was late when we got back. Kyle didn’t want to drop me off at Dairy Queen. I hated it, but I felt dumb arguing about it in front of Matt, so I agreed to let them drive me to my street.

My shitty neighbors always left their trash out on the porch so raccoons could get at it, ripping the bags and exposing the disgust inside. And my other shitty neighbors made it worse with their pile of random junk in the driveway, a bunch of crap, including a filthy crib mattress, broken fiberboard furniture, and a stupid number of old tires sitting next to their crappy car. It was so lovely.

I couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth and tell Matt to stop the car. I let it roll past my apartment, up the street to a nicer building that would be a little less embarrassing.

Kyle got out with me. The night had turned bitterly cold and our breath under the streetlamp puffed yellow.

“Thanks for a good night, Kyle,” I said, nervously tapping my foot and trying not to look down the street to my apartment, worried if I did, he would figure out which one was mine. “Um … you don’t have to wait for me. I have a key.” I was getting all weird and anxious because I just wanted him to go.

“Bree, it’s one o’clock in the morning.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine. Like I said, I have a key.”

Kyle sighed. “Do you have any more minutes left on your phone?”

“Yeah, I have some.”

“Okay. So I’ll talk to you until you’re inside.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said, deciding I was okay with that plan. I took my phone out, but my feet were still stuck. They weren’t going to start walking until Kyle was gone.

“Bree,” he said. “Matt lives just a few streets down from here. A lot of my friends live around here.”

“They do?”

“Yes. They do,” he said, sounding a little exhausted as he struggled to push that notion into my head.

Part of me knew it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, Kyle was standing right next to me. If he thought it was a big deal, he wouldn’t be here.

But I couldn’t get past it.

Even if he had friends around here, I knew my house was the worst one on this block, and I also knew Lyndsay and her silver Adidas didn’t live in this neighborhood.

Kyle shook his head. “So I’ll call you.” He took out his phone and mine buzzed a second later.

I put it to my ear.

“Hey, Dover,” he said into the phone.

I hesitantly met his gaze. “Hey,” I said, trying to breathe through my embarrassment.

Kyle lifted a hand, waving me goodbye. He got into the car, and I stood watching as he rolled away.

“Bree, I can see from the mirror that you’re not walking home.”

“Okay, I’m going.” I turned on my heels.

The lamp-lit street was quiet, the cold seeming to amplify the silence, and my lone feet scuffing on the pavement were too loud. I was clinging to my phone, relieved Kyle was still there.

“So are we still on for tomorrow?” he asked.

I zipped up my jacket, tucking my chin into the collar. “Yeah, I hope so,” I said, feeling like maybe I had just lost a few brownie points with him, being all weird about my house.

“I hope so too,” he said with a small chuckle. “But tell me if you want a break from me. I can take it.”

“Um … no, that’s okay.” I pulled a smile against my chattering teeth—I did not want a break from him.

“Hey, how far are you walking? It’s shit cold out there.”

“Yeah, no, I’m almost home.”

“Bree, we could have dropped you closer.”

I didn’t respond to that.

Kyle was quiet for a second, but he picked up my loose end. “I have a confession to make.”

“What’s that?” I was stepping up the porch steps.

“I might already have an opinion about The Shining. And … uh … I might have watched the movie only a few weeks ago.”

“You did? You’re such a liar.”

I opened the door to our apartment, stepping into the kitchen. It looked like the night had gone fine. The house was still cleaner than normal, which was nice. And there were no open bottles anywhere. Not even in the trash.

“Yeah,” said Kyle. “Well, I saw it while browsing movies, and it reminded me of you, so I clicked on it.”

“It reminded you of me? A few weeks ago?” I was smiling pretty big. A few weeks ago, Kyle and I weren’t even talking. He was just quietly giving me bread.

“Yeah, you know,” he said with a laugh, “cute, quiet, library girl tells me she likes The Shining … I click on it.”

That made me blush. “So what’s your opinion?” I asked, pushing open Mom’s bedroom door.

“Why are you whispering? Are you home?”

I didn’t answer because my head was in Mom’s room. Charlie was snuggled in the bed with her. Both with their arms wrapped around the other; it made me smile. I tiptoed to the TV to shut it off.

“Sorry,” I said into the phone as I exited and crossed the hall to my room. “I was checking on Charlie.”

“So you’re in?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Good.” Kyle blew a sigh of relief into the phone.

“So? The Shining?” I asked as I sat down on my bed.

“Oh yeah, definitely the book,” he said. He paused. “Though, maybe I’m just a little biased since I know this cute girl who likes the book.”

“So you’re not going to tell me what you really think?”

“That is what I really think. Sorry, there’s no going back to before I knew you.”

“Before I knew you,” I echoed, smiling at the unexpected way our lives had twisted together.

“Yeah,” he laughed.

I lay back in bed, my smile stretching to an audible yawn as I hit the pillow.

“Hey, if you’re tired, I can let you go.”

“Are you home yet?”

“Almost.”

“Is Matt just sitting there listening to our conversation?”

“Yeah, probably. But don’t worry about Matt. He’s cool.”

I laughed, completely envious of Kyle’s brazen confidence. I could barely call for pizza with someone in the same room as me.

“Do you want me to let you go?” he asked.

No, I didn’t want him to let me go. I was tired, and I needed to brush my teeth and I had to pee. But I wanted to take Kyle with me everywhere. “I guess,” I said.

“Okay. So tomorrow I’ll text around six?”

“Yeah, six is good.”

“Perfect.”

“Perfect,” I repeated.