Chapter 18 - A Million Rainbows

I stepped off at the top of the stairs kind of dreamingly, looking around the large game room while Kyle got the movie going.

A low-hanging pendant lamp above the pool table dimly lit the space, casting a wonderfully dark and somber mood over the room.

There was a hallway that connected the garage to the rest of the house, the same hall Charlie had found the bathroom down when we were here before. There were multiple closed doors along the wall, leading to the rest of Narnia, I was sure.

It was such an abundant amount of space, and I was pretty certain it was only Kyle and his mom who lived here.

“Where’s your room?” I asked, turning to Kyle, who was standing in front of the super-sized TV, shuffling through movies.

“I’ll show you,” he said.

Instead of going down the hall that led out, he walked a few steps over to the other side of the room we were in, to a closed door, opening it and letting me in first.

The room was just another walled-off section of the unfinished garage. The natural wood was exposed and beautiful. His bed was tucked to the side where the pitched roof slanted in. It was covered in a green plaid comforter, roughly placed like he had made the bed himself and not his mom.

There was sports memorabilia everywhere. Most of it, green and white Boston Celtics stuff. I knew enough about sports to know that was basketball.

“Oh, that’s right,” I said, studying the room with interest and thinking back to my memories of Kyle when he was just that popular kid, Kyle Roberts, whom I didn’t know. “Aren’t you usually on the basketball team at school?”

“Yeah,” said Kyle with a nod. “Usually. Tryouts are in a couple of weeks.”

I was also now vaguely remembering that Lyndsay was a cheerleader for the same team, but I was trying not to think about that, and I definitely wasn’t going to mention it.

There was a small TV in his room, sitting on top of a polished wood dresser. “Do you even need that?” I asked, kind of amazed by it. “I mean, with the large screen just out there?”

Kyle folded his arms at his chest. “Dover, are you judging me? Yes, I need it. What else is going to keep the ghosts away at night?”

I laughed at him, shaking my head. “Maybe The Shining is a bad idea for you.”

“As long as we don’t watch it in here, I’ll be fine.” He bit his lip. “Unless you wanted to?”

“What? Watch the movie in here?” I gulped nervously, throwing a tentative glance at his bed. “Um … no. That big screen looks amazing,” I said, turning to the door and heading back into the game room.

Kyle had the movie ready to go. We had his mom’s food, and he had gotten us a couple of bottled waters from the small bar fridge that was upstairs. There was nothing left to do but sit down and watch the movie.

I could have killed him because he sat first, leaving me with the horrible job of having to decide how close I should sit to him. And it was a really large, L-shaped sectional.

I decided to take my own cushion. The one right next to his. He was centered in a square. I was centered in a square—that seemed reasonable.

I sat kind of rigidly, with my feet flat on the ground, my hands awkwardly in my lap.

It was a little colder where we were above the garage, and I was wearing short sleeves. Kyle noticed when I tried to rub the goosebumps away. “Here,” he said, reaching for a blanket on the couch beside him and handing it to me. I took it, and he took the opportunity to invade my square, positioning himself so close our arms were now touching, and it was all I could think about as the movie started.

Kyle was a movie talker. It was two seconds into it that the questions and comments started. I was okay with that because it helped me relax, and I brought my feet up, curling into myself a little, getting more comfortable, getting used to his very close proximity.

“You’re wearing pink,” he said.

“Oh, yeah.” I kicked my leg out a little, wiggling my toes, whispering a silent thanks to Emily for the cute socks.

The rest of my outfit was just a regular pair of jeans and the nicest top I owned. It was a plain, light blue, cotton T-shirt. Kyle was wearing comfy-looking gray joggers with a navy-blue sweater. And though it had nothing to do with his attire, I also noted that he smelled like heaven, shampoo or lotion, or perhaps just that natural, godly scent of his.

He leaned forward, grabbing a couple of cookies from the tray, handing me one. I took it with a “Thank you.”

“So did that go all right with my mom?” he asked.

“Oh yeah,” I said, the bite of Sue’s cookie I’d just eaten dissolving deliciously in my mouth. I twisted in my spot to face Kyle. He was already sitting sideways, looking at me. “I really like your mom. She’s great.”

“She doesn’t know when to stop sometimes once she gets going.” He was opening and closing his fingers, making a yappy, chatty hand gesture near his mouth.

“I love that about her.”

“You do?”

“Yeaah,” I said, stretching the word out with complete sincerity. “It leaves no time for awkward silences.”

Kyle laughed. “So she didn’t say too much?”

He was either talking about the Lyndsay comment or the Charlie comment. He didn’t know the question about college had been the worst of it, and neither did Sue. “No, she didn’t,” I said. “I think she’s great.”

“I can’t believe you invited her up here.” He was shaking his head at me.

“Sorry.” I pulled my shoulders into an apologetic shrug. “She was being so nice, and she has my note on her fridge.”

Kyle smiled, not saying anything. He took a bite of his cookie, looking at me thoughtfully while he chewed.

“What?” I asked.

He shoved the rest of the cookie in his mouth and tapped his fist on my blanket-covered knee. “So I kind of got you something,” he said, chewing and swallowing. “And I’m afraid to give it to you, because you might not think it’s okay.”

“What, like a gift?”

“Uh … no.” He got up and grabbed a small box from the end table on the other side of the sectional. He sat back down and handed it to me. “It’s another phone. It’s prepaid just like yours, but with unlimited minutes and texts.”

I stared at the box, looking at the shiny black smartphone on the cover. It wasn’t an iPhone or anything fancy, but it likely cost more than the twenty dollars I’d spent on my phone.

“So?” said Kyle, waiting for some kind of response from me.

“Well, how much is it?”

“Uh, thirty dollars a month for the plan, but that also includes three gigabytes of data, so you’ll be able to check your email and stuff at home.”

I blew a hot mix of worry and embarrassment into my cheeks. “I only spend fifteen dollars on mine.”

“Yeah, so just fifteen dollars more and you have all the minutes you need.”

“But I don’t have fifteen dollars more. Not that I want to spend on a phone, anyway.”

“Well, yeah,” said Kyle, clearing his throat, “but I’ve got that.”

“You want to help me pay for it?”

That idea made me so uncomfortable. It meant so many things, like depending on him, owing him, needing him. It also meant feeling like shit every month when I handed him money to pay for my phone.

Kyle swayed back and forth, looking torn over a thought. “Bree, my dad loads a prepaid debit card for me every month for stuff like this. I can do it, and it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“How much does your dad give you?” I asked, the question coming from sheer curiosity, not because I wanted him to pay for my phone.

“Uh, well, more than thirty dollars.”

I looked at the packaged phone, trying to think it through rationally, but it was still coming up as a bad idea. “Charlie’s school has my number,” I said, offering him my most logical reason.

“You can transfer your number. Keep the same one.”

I considered it for another minute, then handed the phone back. “Kyle, I can’t. It’s sweet, but I can’t.”

He nodded. “Okay … that’s fair.” He put the phone on the coffee table. “But how come? Like really? Because I’d like to be able to talk to you. I could keep buying phone cards, but that would end up costing more.”

I straightened up, placing my feet back on the floor. I didn’t want to say the thing I was thinking … but I had to. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have you paying for stuff like this.” I hesitated with the rest, watching Jack Nicholson on the screen because I was too much of a wimp to look Kyle in the eyes. “I mean, what do I do in a couple of months, or whenever, if whatever this is between us doesn’t work out?” I shrugged, turning to him. “I’m left with a phone I can’t afford, you know?”

Kyle scrunched up his lips, scanning me with somber eyes. “Well,” he said, with a sad tilt of his head. “You can just switch back to your crappy phone if that happens.” He smiled warmly, drawing a small laugh from me.

He grabbed the box from the coffee table. “I know what I’m going to do,” he said, opening the package and pulling out the new phone. “So it’s not your phone. You keep your shitty phone. This one’s mine. But I’m going to let you borrow it. Okay?”

I ran that new plan through my head. Somehow, this slight twist seemed to carry fewer stipulations. But the plan was still flawed. “Yeah, but now you have to pay the full thirty dollars?”

“It’s my phone. I can pay whatever I want.” He fell back against the couch and powered it on.

“Are you sure?”

He gave my arm a little nudge with his elbow. “Yes, I’m sure, Dover. It’s for me, anyway.”

I watched Kyle as he fiddled with the phone, feeling uneasy leaving it at that.

“Hey, Kyle.”

He looked up from the screen. His full attention on me was unexpected, making me lose my confidence.

“Um, it wouldn’t just be for you,” I said, hoping he understood it had only been about the money. And that I, too, very much, wanted to keep talking to him.

He held my gaze for a drawn-out moment, a small, dimpled smile lingering on his lips. “I know,” he said, his smile stretching as he lowered his attention back to the phone.

I went back to watching the movie while Kyle set up the phone. He kept handing it to me so I could enter passwords, my email, and other confidential information.

We were coming up on the old lady scene in the movie, and there was a beautiful—very nude—woman on the ginormous screen in front of us. I had kind of forgotten about this part. My legs were back on the couch, and I pulled them in uncomfortably while I waited impatiently for Miss Full Frontal to just turn into a goddamn monster already!

“This part isn’t as scary as the book, eh?” said Kyle with a laugh. He nudged me with his elbow, taking all the “awkward” out of the room.

“Yeah,” I said, breathing a thankful sigh of relief. I relaxed, then immediately jumped when the beautiful lady turned macabre. I looked away from her corpse body, all gross and putrid, in the bathtub.

“Shit, that’s disgusting,” said Kyle, handing me the phone. “It’s all yours.”

I took it and swiped around on the screen. My grossly-lacking-in-features flip phone was the only phone I had ever owned. This thing had the internet, Instagram, Gmail … everything.

“Can I go online?” I asked Kyle.

“Oh yeah, it’s connected to our Wi-Fi, so you’re not using your data right now.”

I clicked on the Instagram icon, thinking I would check out Emily’s account. It took me a few minutes to set up my own, then I got lost on her page, hearting and commenting on everything before getting pulled into the deeper trenches of the picture-perfect world of social media.

“This is amazing,” I said, clicking out of Instagram and going to my Gmail. “So I can just check my email anytime?” He had mentioned that, but it was just hitting me how extremely convenient that would be. I was constantly getting scholarship updates and applications from Mrs. B, and with my limited use of the computer at the library and at school, there was never enough time to go through everything.

“Yeah,” said Kyle. “So you like it?”

I lowered the phone, looking at him, feeling overwhelmed with gratitude. “I don’t know what to say … but yeah, I like it.”

He nodded. “Good. I’m glad.”

He reached for my phone, taking it in his hands. He scooted over, slipping an arm around me, and pulling me closer. The sinking couch cushions made it so that I was tucked up right next to him, and I was so incredibly happy to be there.

“I bet you’ve never taken a selfie, huh?” said Kyle, speaking low near my ear.

“You’d be wrong,” I said. “My shitty phone has a shitty camera. I’ve tried.”

He laughed and clicked on the camera icon. He held the phone out, flipping the picture so we were displayed on the screen. The image of us together made me smile.

Kyle smiled along with me and snapped the photo. “You’re going to have to send that to me.” He lowered the phone, letting it fall into my lap.

I was curled up with my knees in. Kyle twisted into me. He brought his arm across my waist, placing his hand on my outer thigh, pulling me into him. I was as close as I could possibly be. I took a shaky breath, and when I turned my head, he was just there—his lips, so close.

There was nothing left to do.

They describe kisses like fireworks because of the flash of colors and lights, I think.

But they aren’t loud. They’re quiet.

That was the first thing I noticed.

Everything around us dissolved into nothing. The world. All of existence was gone. It was just Kyle and me.

His lips were warm and tender, and he tasted like the cookie he’d just eaten—delicious and sweet.

I had never kissed a boy before, but it wasn’t hard. And it was just as good as I imagined it would be. All rainbows and puffy white clouds. And warm, warm sun.

But that was Kyle. I was sure it was Kyle.

Kyle was perfect and beautiful and everything that made this good.

And somehow, I fitted with him. Tucked near his side. In his arms wrapped around me. Pressed to his lips that so easily molded with mine.

I fit … somehow.

I could have stayed like that forever, kissing Kyle forever. On his couch, with The Shining playing in the background. It was everything. I was whole. There was nothing else I needed.

Kyle lifted his lips, hovering with a smile just inches from me. He shook his head. “Dover, Dover, Dover,” he said. He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead. Then he sat back against the couch, pulling me with him and I settled in his arms.

I sank down on the couch a little and rested my head against his shoulder, breathing in his heavenly scent. “You smell amazing,” I mumbled, my mushy kiss brain, making no attempts to filter.

He laughed. “You smell amazing.”

I smelled like dollar Suave shampoo from Walmart. I did not smell amazing, but it was nice of him to say.

“Is it strawberries?” asked Kyle, breathing in the scent of my hair.

I smiled. “Yeah, strawberries.”

We sat and watched the rest of the movie. Kyle, talking and asking a lot of questions the whole time, but I wasn’t paying attention to him or the movie because he kept running his fingers over the top of my hand, the one I had resting on his chest. He wasn’t trying to hold it, or anything. He was just playing with my knuckles and my fingertips, sending a burst of rainbows through me.

The movie ended, and the credits rolled. Kyle shifted me in his arms a little, sitting up straighter. “So I’ve got a definitive answer for you. You know, regarding the book/movie debate,” he said.

“Was it a debate?” I asked, sitting up and stretching out my legs, and rescuing my new phone from the crack in the couch. I placed it on the coffee table. “I thought we had both decided on the book?”

Kyle’s dimples pinched. “I might have flip-flopped on you. I mean, I just spent two hours watching the movie with …” He paused with a funny, unsure look in his eyes like he didn’t know what to call me. “Uh … well, someone that I really enjoyed watching the movie with. So now, I’m a little partial to it.”

I laughed. “Yeah, I might be too.”

“Might be? What, was my kiss not good enough?”

I took in a long, steady breath, recalling his kiss with absolute joy. “Um … no,” I said with a dreamy exhale. “Your kiss was great. Like really, really great.”

There was a smile in Kyle’s eyes, but he scrunched up his lips. “So what? Four out of five. Five out of five? What would you rate it?”

“You want me to rate your kiss?”

“Sure, why not? Maybe there’s room for improvement. You know, for next time.”

I floated somewhere warm and blissful with the thought of a next time. “Well, I don’t know. I have nothing to compare it to,” I said, “but I would say that your kiss was a million stars.” A million rainbows.

I was taken aback by the small frown Kyle made. I replayed my comment in my mind, trying to figure out what had upset him. Maybe he misunderstood me.

“Hey, Bree,” he said. “Was that your first kiss?”

My breath hitched. I lowered my gaze, tucking my hands between my thighs. “Um, yeah, why is that a problem?”

He answered quickly. “Uh … no. Not a problem. I just wish I’d known. But that’s my fault, I should have asked.”

I blew out my cheeks, forcing myself to look at him. “Okay. Are you sure? Because, honestly, all of this is kind of new to me, and if that’s a problem you should just tell me.”

Kyle pursed his lips, looking regretful. “No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s not a problem. It’s just …”

It obviously was, he was being so weird about it. “What? Why does it matter?”

He sighed. “Well, it matters because it’s important, and I would have done it differently had I known. Somewhere better than my house. Like the tower or something.”

I glanced around the dimly lit game room, empty and quiet with just me and him. “Kyle, no. This was perfect.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re kind of ruining it a little, but …”

“Right. I am, huh?” He laughed. “Okay, well good.” He relaxed his shoulders. “Hey, do you want me to tell you about my first kiss?”

Shit. He was about to tell me about the first time he and Lyndsay kissed, a story I definitely did not want to hear.

He started into the story, anyway. “So I was fourteen. It was the summer before freshman year. I was at a co-ed birthday party. Now, at the time, I had this major crush on Laura Scott.”

Laura Scott was in a couple of my classes at school. She was cute, but not Lyndsay perfect, and I suddenly really liked that about her. I also really liked that she had been his first kiss and not Lyndsay.

“We were playing spin the bottle,” said Kyle. “I mean, we were actually playing spin the bottle.” He tapped my arm. “Can you believe that? And the worst part was that it had been my idea. Because it was my friend Tyler’s party, and I had talked him into it. And even lamer, I had been practicing with a bottle.” Kyle shook his head, lowering it in shame. “Man, this story is actually pretty embarrassing. I don’t know why I’m telling it to you.” He looked at me, hiding behind one squinted eye. “I was such a major dork back then. Don’t judge me too much.”

From all my memories of him, Kyle Roberts had never once been a dork. But yeah, okay …

“So me and Laura get paired up.”

“Because you had been practicing,” I said, teasing him.

He laughed. “Yeah. And we did the whole closet thing. Also, my dumb idea. It was so dark in there: I couldn’t see for shit. But that, however, did not deter me. I went in for the kiss, utterly blind. Completely missing her mouth and kissing her eye. I kissed her eye! And that’s not the worst part …” He shook his head violently like he was trying to shake away the memory. “Because get this, I was going for the tongue.”

“Oh god,” I said with a shudder, reliving that horrible moment with him.

“Yeah, fourteen-year-old me, with no experience, and I thought that was a good idea. I f-ing licked her eyeball.” He covered his mouth with both of his hands. “Licked her eyeball,” he said through his fingers like he was afraid to repeat it. “We still ended up dating for like a month after that. Can you believe she still dated me after that?”

Yes, I could believe she still dated him.

“But that kiss doomed it from the start,” said Kyle. “Poor Laura. I should probably go and apologize to her.”

I smiled, completely believing he wanted to apologize to her. “So if your first kiss wasn’t great? Why are you so worried about mine?”

Kyle’s dimples pinched, the smile lingering in his eyes as he looked at me. “Well, Brianna Dover … I have this weird new thing since getting to know you … where I want you to be happy.”

My heart fluttered to my throat.

I was happy. With Kyle, I was happy.

He reached for his phone on the coffee table, checking the time. “Uh … so we’ve got ten minutes before I have to go get my mom. Do you want to try for a second kiss? I promise not to ruin it this time.”

Kyle didn’t wait for my answer. He was on my lips, and I was in blissful heaven with him for ten whole minutes.