Chapter 48 - Chase Me, Cowboy

I wake up long enough for Jamie to get me to the truck. Then, he’s giving my thigh a gentle shake and we’re home. Everything is the same.

The dogs sit on the porch steps, tails wagging as soon as they recognize my face through the windshield. Instead of sadness, I feel something…new when I look up at the ranch house. I spent so many years here, wondering who I was, who I could be. Now, I’m at the beginning of figuring that out.

It’s not a prison. It’s a place I can come home to when things get to be too much.

“You okay?” Jamie asks.

I smile, unbuckling my seatbelt. “Yeah, I think everything’s gonna be fine.”

He leans over and kisses me. “I think so, too.”

We get out and meet the dogs in the yard. It’s so cold, we don’t linger. Coen appears on the other side of the door and pulls it open.

“About time,” he says.

The tension we felt on the phone is gone. That’s strange, but also welcome. Sabrina comes around the corner, absolutely glowing, and throws her arms around me. Surprised, I hug her back.

“You alright?” I ask when she lets go.

“Yeah, perfect.”

Coen leads the way into the kitchen. It’s cozy and smells of sourdough bread and butter, which is piled on a rough-hewn platter on the table. Of course, there’s a stack of mugs set up, ready for a round of coffee. Our family can’t get through a conversation without about eight cups. Right on cue, Coen starts rinsing out the drip machine.

“How’s the trip?” Sabrina asks, perching on a stool.

I lean on the counter, unsure how to respond. Something is going on, and I can’t figure out what.

“You want to step out for a second, Jamie?” Coen says, moving back down the hall. “Just while the coffee’s brewing.”

Jamie exchanges a glance with me, both of us bewildered. He goes after Coen, and the door slams. Silence falls, and I turn around to find Sabrina with her hands clasped, practically levitating off her seat.

“I’m a little—" I start.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out.

My jaw drops, a hundred emotions surging. “What? When? How?”

She laughs, covering her face. “I mean, I found out a few days ago. And it was sex, that’s how. How do you think it happens?”

“I mean, I just… Are you happy?”

She drops her hands. “Yeah, we’re really happy. I mean, it was kind of a surprise, but we slept on it, and we’re both really excited.”

“So this is why you were off when we called?”

She nods, sobering. “I mean, it was everything, but we were still in shock. Coen got us an appointment really fast, so they gave us an estimate of nine weeks—”

“Nine weeks!”

“Yeah, I haven’t felt pregnant yet.”

I pull up a stool and sink down, setting my purse on the floor. “No sickness? Nothing?”

She shakes her head. “My boobs are bigger, that’s why I took the test, but otherwise I feel fine. I’m hoping that lasts, but I kinda doubt I’ll be so lucky. Anyway, enough about me.”

“Enough? You’re having a baby!”

She waves her hand. “I know, but you have stuff going on too, and I want to hear about it.”

Feeling like I’m getting whiplash, I take a beat. “I mean, I told you both everything. Is Coen upset?”

She takes a breath, interlacing her hands. I’ve noticed since Coen put the ring on, she has started playing with it while she thinks.

“Maybe,” she says finally. “But after we talked, he said he thinks you’ll be okay.”

Something in her voice makes everything so real. It also makes me think about how I think Sabrina and I will have very different lives in a way I never anticipated. And I’m so happy for us. She loves this ranch, she loves Coen, and she’s going to love being a mother out here, raising her baby where we grew up. Despite all the bumps in the road, we were happy here. Maybe it wasn’t the wrong choice to stay with Dad after the split.

I’ll never know, but I do know I’m grateful for everything I have right now.

Things are going to change. They’ll keep on changing.

I hold out my hand. Sabrina takes it.

“I think we’re both pretty lucky,” I say, voice hoarse.

She smiles. “Yeah, I think so, too.”

We sit in silence for a minute.

“So…you’re not moving the wedding, right?” I ask finally.

She lets me go and rises to pour me a coffee. “I’d like to postpone until after the baby is born, take some time to adjust, and then get married. I know it’s disappointing, but it’s what I want.”

“It’s not,” I say quickly. “Everyone wants you to have what you want.”

“I could tell Mom was a little sad, but she’s so excited she’ll forget about it.”

“You told her?” I ask, accepting the mug she passes over the counter. “When?”

“I called her last night,” she says, putting the kettle on the stove. “She reacted exactly like I thought she would and started crying, then added Hugh to the call, and then they both said we have to come up for Christmas.”

I smile, seeing the whole scene play out in my head. “I haven’t told Mom my news, but I think she’ll be happy for me.”

“She doesn’t know the music part, but she guessed you and Jamie were going to end up together,” Sabrina says.

“Well, I didn’t. I had to suffer,” I laugh.

“I kinda suspected,” Sabrina muses. “Coen said something about how Jamie was acting really different about you, and I had a hunch things might work out. You should call her.”

I squirm. There’s a lot going on right now and I’m overwhelmed.

“Just call her really quick,” says Sabrina, pushing my phone from where I sat it on the counter to my hand.

“No—”

“You scared?”

“No, I just—”

“Serena, just fucking call her,” she says, sounding the way she always did when we would argue growing up.

“Okay, fine,” I say, rolling my eyes.

I hit the button and wait, listening as the line rings. She doesn’t pick up, and I set the phone down, but the second I do, it lights up. She’s calling back.

I answer. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, honey, are you at the ranch?”

“Yeah, Sabrina just told me her news.”

I can tell Mom is on the verge of happy tears again. “Isn’t it exciting. Maybe I’ll hop on a plane tonight and bring Hugh down there. Or, oh, I know, you could both come up next weekend. Bring Coen and the man you’re pretending you don’t like, Serena.”

“Not pretending anymore.” I shrug.

“Oh good, maybe you can stop moping around,” she says, not unkindly.

“I was not moping,” I interject.

“Yeah, you were,” Sabrina mouths. Then, louder, “Hey, Mom, Serena has something to tell you, too.”

“Are you pregnant, too?”

“No, I am not,” I half-shout.

“Then…what?” she presses.

I glance up at Sabrina, unsure where to even start. My mind runs through everything that’s happened since the beginning of summer. It’s hard to wrap up everything in a few sentences, not when it includes Jamie, too. I’m not sure I recognize myself anymore, but not in a bad way. No, I took a risk, I made a move, and somehow, by some trick of fate, it worked.

I couldn’t have done any of it without Jamie. He’d say differently, I know that.

He’d tell me I could do it all on my own. But that’s why I know he’s the one I want by my side.

“Well,” I say, “you know how I always wanted to pursue music?”