Chapter 6 - Golden Kingdom

Taio waited for me on the second-floor gallery, looking down at the base of the wide staircase. As Leed escorted me past the sentries standing at the open doors of Gold House—were they always open? I had not yet seen them closed—I looked up and saw Taio stride to the top of the wide marble staircase. I’d only been away from him for a couple of hours, but my breath caught in my throat just like the first time I’d seen him. He’d changed so that he wore black from head to toe. I eyed him from his long, fitted coat to his trousers tucked in shiny, black boots. The coat had a high collar, but I could see part of the lion tattoo where it rose on his neck. He’d fastened his blue-black hair in a knot on the top of his head, and with his hair pulled back and cleanly shaven, the smooth lines and chiseled angles of his face were even more apparent. I was just happy to see that his swollen eye and the bruises from his fight with Gaz were no longer visible.

His dark eyebrows slashed over his blue-green eyes until his gaze met mine. Then his expression softened. “I thought you would never bring her back,” he said to Leed, though his gaze remained on me as he descended the stairs.

“We might have talked all day,” Leed said. “But I want to speak to your parents about bringing out the scroll so Lady Mara may begin work on it tomorrow.”

Taio’s gaze flicked to Leed and back to me. “Will you be recovered from the journey tomorrow? If you need more time—”

“I don’t. I’m ready to start now, but Leed says that’s impossible.”

“He is correct, as usual.” Taio came to stand by my side, and though he didn’t touch me, I could almost imagine the feel of his body against mine. He was the one person here I would not mind embracing.

“I will leave you.” Leed bowed to me. “Until that tomorrow,” he said. Then Leed opened his arms and Taio embraced him. The two were close to a foot apart in height, but somehow Leed did not look small next to Taio. Leed seemed to think nothing of this long embrace.

When the two parted and Leed had almost reached the top of the stairs, Taio turned his blue-green eyes on me. “I missed you,” he said.

I sniffed. “I’m sure Saabin kept you from being too lonely.”

Taio’s lips twitched. “Mara, are you jealous?”

I started violently. “Jealous? I have never been jealous in my life. I don’t even know what the word means. You think I would be jealous of Saabin? Hollows would make dinner out of her in no time. She probably doesn’t even know not to tuck her thumb when she strikes—”

Taio put a hand on my shoulder. “Very well. You are not jealous.”

“I’m not.” I crossed my arms defiantly.

“I thought since you told me you loved me—”

I uncrossed my arms and held my hands out defensively. “What? I never said that I...that word.”

“You did. On the side of the mountain when you—both of us—thought we might fall to our deaths.”

Hellfire! I had been hoping he hadn’t heard that. “I don’t remember saying that,” I lied. “I must have panicked and started spouting gibberish.”

Taio nodded, but his lips were twitching again. “My mistake.” He inclined his head, and I suspected he hid a smile. He looked up at me under his dark lashes. “Are you hungry?”

“No.” I was hungry, but it seemed a good idea to deny everything right now.

“I am hungry,” Taio said, taking my hand, and making my heart speed up. “And I know exactly what I want to eat. Come.” He pulled me like an excited child out of Gold House and onto Gold Path. The noise and color didn’t overcome me as much as it had earlier, but I still had to take several deep breaths, especially as we moved further into the commotion. Taio led me straight down the middle of Gold Path, and the street was even more crowded than earlier. I tried to take in my surroundings, but there was so much activity, it was impossible. We passed four people sitting under an awning playing instruments while a small crowd sat or stood to listen. Someone else pushed a cart and called out the name of some food I had never heard of. Two women stood on a raised platform and pretended to argue while a group of people watched and laughed. Bells tinkled as the wind passed through chimes hanging in a shop. People haggled over fabric. Several people sat at easels and painted. A little girl wearing a dress similar to mine twirled around and laughed.

Then she spotted me, and she ran back to hide behind her mother. Her response wasn’t uncommon. I tried to ignore how the singers’ voices hitched when they spotted me or how all the painters looked up from their canvases to follow my path. Or even how the shop owners calling out for people to buy their wares quieted as I passed.

“I thought you said I look like one of you,” I murmured to Taio.

“Your dress is Zulenii,” he said. “Your expression is not.”

I frowned at him. “What is wrong with my expression?”

“Zulenii smile at each other. You look like you want to eviscerate—is that the correct word?—everyone.”

“I can smile,” I said.

Taio gave me a dubious look. I bared my teeth in a smile, and the little girl who had been twirling earlier burst into tears. Taio put a hand on my cheek. “Keep practicing, mi guerrira.”

“Stop calling me that.”

He leaned down to kiss me, and I jumped back in shock. “Not in front of everyone!” I hissed. Taio just shook his head and pulled me onward. Finally, we paused at a small cart where a woman who looked close to one hundred sat on her stool, yarn and knitting needles in hand. She looked up when Taio approached and lowered her knitting to hold out her arms. She said something to him in Zulenii as he carefully embraced her. When they parted, she asked who I was and I didn’t understand Taio’s quick reply, but I heard him say Earsleh and my name. The old woman’s eyes opened wide, but not in fear. Her expression was akin to wonder as though she thought she might never see someone from another kingdom again in her lifetime. She beckoned me closer then opened her arms.

I couldn’t refuse an embrace from an elder, so I carefully hugged her back. She was thin and frail as I imagined our court historian Old Ceba would be if I’d ever touched him. When we parted, the woman lifted one panel from the top of her cart and reached inside. She took out something wrapped in light blue fabric and handed it to me. Whatever it was felt warm and slightly heavy, though it fit in the palm of my hand. She reached back in and gave Taio two. Taio said something; she laughed and gave him another.

By then the scent had reached my nose—it was sweet and yeasty. I detected spices that were familiar and yet unusual all at the same time. Taio gestured to a tree on one side of the Gold Path, and I followed him to sit beneath it. “What is this?” I asked.

“My favorite food. I have been thinking of how to translate it. Perhaps something like manza corner. Open it.”

I unwrapped my blue cloth, unveiling a light brown triangle of pastry. The top was flaky and smelled delicious.

“Go ahead,” Taio said, then demonstrated by holding one corner to his mouth and taking a bite. I couldn’t help but think of that mouth on me, the tongue he used to catch a crumb of pastry teasing my nipple. But now was not the time. I let out a shaky breath and nibbled on my own corner. My eyes widened immediately. Thick sweetness filled the crust. I pulled the pastry back and looked at the light brown fruit inside.

“That is the manza fruit,” Taio said, unwrapping his second pastry.

“It’s good,” I said.

“I know.”

I tried not to notice how people nearby stared at me or how others gathered at a respectful distance to watch us. I’d never been an object of interest in Earsleh, unless it was to children who wanted to tease me about my height. The king had nineteen children. I was nothing special. But here I was the foreigner, and everyone wanted to gawk. One man emerged from the crowd and arrowed directly for us. I was in a defensive crouch with my weapon in my hands before Taio could speak my name.

“Mara.” Taio’s voice held a hint of laughter. “This is Ximen. He is a friend.”

Ximen held his hands up and offered a smile. Taio was on his feet now, and the two men embraced heartily. Still wary, I rose too and lowered my weapon to my side, but I didn’t tuck it back in my belt.

“Ximen, this is Mara,” Taio said, then grabbed his shoulder before Ximen could embrace me. “Maybe a handshake this first time you meet,” Taio said.

Ximen looked confused, but he held out a hand. I took it, my grip firm to show I was not to be trifled with.

“Ow!” Ximen said, shaking his hand. Taio laughed.

“Careful, Mara. He plays guitara with that hand.”

All this back and forth was conducted in a mixture of Zulenii and Earslehen, but then the two men began to speak in rapid Zulenii. I couldn’t keep up and decided to survey our perimeter. Just as Leed had told me, there were few children about. I’d seen that little girl I’d made cry, and I spotted another child who was even younger in a man’s arms. He had a thumb in his mouth and stared at me with interest—not fear. I thought about smiling at him—mayhap trying it without showing my teeth—but Taio put a hand on my shoulder.

“Come. Ximen and some of my other friends are gathered nearby. I want you to meet them.”

But did they want to meet me?

We returned the blue fabric to the old woman then I followed Taio and Ximen off Gold Path and down a tree-lined street. People walked here in small groups and called out greetings, often addressing Taio as Zulenilo. A few stopped to embrace their Zulenilo and, at Taio’s suggestion, shake my hand. I tried not to squeeze their soft hands too tightly or stare at their sandals and envision a pack of Hollows easily chasing them down.

Finally, we reached a house with a pale green door. Ximen opened it and led us straight up a staircase where he opened another door. Behind that door, in a circular room painted pale green, like the door, a group of people jumped up and rushed to attack Taio. Taio grabbed my arm before I could raise my weapon. “These are friends,” he said to me. He held my gaze, and I gave the people dubious looks. Then I allowed them to pull Taio in for a group embrace. This lasted some time, with everyone talking at once and taking turns hugging Taio over again and kissing his cheek. Finally, he introduced me, and I held my hand out. But instead of taking my hand, the group of three people—it had seemed like twenty at first—just laughed and pulled me in for an embrace. I endured it the best I could before I was finally passed to a fourth person who I realized was Omira.

“You are here!” I said, grabbing her shoulder.

“I just arrived and thought I had better take advantage of the opportunity to hug you. You look pretty in that dress.” She released me and called out to someone she introduced as Glava. This Glava was a slim woman wearing long skirts with little metal trinkets that clinked together whenever she moved. She’d better hope she encountered no Hollows wearing such a loud and thus dangerous clothing item. Glava gave Omira and me goblets filled with something that smelled like wine. Taio was already drinking from one and talking to Ximen and another man.

“That’s Chu,” Omira said of the man with long, light brown hair and green eyes. “And that is Arnah,” she said, pointing to a man with short, dark hair and tattoos across his forehead. He had large golden hoops dangling from his ears that a Hollow could easily grab, and now he offered Omira small gold discs. “These are cymbalas,” she said showing them to me. “I told you I play.”

Arnah held out a large disk with small disks on the side to me, but I shook my head. I did not know what to do with that instrument. So Arnah took it and shook it, creating a horrible crash that made me cover my ears. Taio put an arm about me and steered me to one side of the room, where pillows were scattered beside the wall. He pulled me down and into his lap, holding me fast before I could squirm away. I felt my cheeks heat from embarrassment, but no one seemed to be looking at us. Ximen had picked up a guitara as had Glava. Chu stood beside Omira as the others seated themselves and began to count. Then they played the instruments in unison.

I pushed back into Taio, the sound shocking at first. Taio’s hand on my back calmed me, and then Chu began to sing along with Omira, and I couldn’t seem to look away from them. Their voices were so lovely together. The more I listened to the instruments, the more I recognized how they played the same notes in some sort of pattern. I began to anticipate the pattern and almost enjoy it.

“Are you well?” Taio murmured in my ear.

I nodded. “I’m growing used to it.”

He squeezed me tighter. “Try your manza water. It is similar to vine water but not as strong.”

I looked down at my goblet, hoped Leed was right about the infrequent poisonings, and sipped. I licked my lips and drank again. The taste and feel were akin to wine but a little sweeter. I sipped again. When the song finished, I had finished my goblet, and Taio set me on a pillow and rose. He returned with my full goblet and a guitara. Handing me the manza water, he sat cross-legged and perched the guitara on his knee. Then he strummed it and began to play.

I stared at him open-mouthed. He’d mentioned he could play before, but it still surprised me. I couldn’t stop looking at his fingers as they moved deftly over the strings as though he’d been doing this his entire life, which he probably had. Ximen’s guitara joined his and Chu began to dance. Omira joined him just as Taio started to sing.

I didn’t understand most of the words he sang. They were in Zulenii and either too fast or elongated to fit the music, but I understood the song was joyous. Taio had a deep voice that was slightly gravelly. I liked it very much, and when he started the next song, I had stopped jumping at the crash of Arnah’s disk. Omira played her cymbalas and continued to dance while Chu went to another instrument; whereby, he pushed down levers to create a new sound. Between songs, Omira refilled my goblet while Taio left the room. His absence should have made me nervous, but the manza water was strong. It probably was not as strong as what we had in Earsleh, but we always drank our wine watered. This was not watered, and it was so sweet I barely noticed when I finished a goblet.

After the next song, Taio returned with plates of fragrant food for all of us. I didn’t recognize any of the food, but it tasted delicious. Everyone ate and then began to play again. By then I don’t know how many goblets of wine I had drunk, but when Omira pulled me to my feet, I didn’t argue. Part of me wanted to protest, but most of me felt loose and free. The song they played was so pretty, and I couldn’t stop swaying to the music. Omira danced with me, and though I’d never danced before, I didn’t feel strange doing so.

Then the music changed, and Chu took me in his arms and twirled me around so skillfully that I was hardly dizzy. I was half laughing when Taio began to sing the next song, which was slower. Arnah rose and took Omira in his arms, holding her close and swaying with her. Chu pulled me close, and I didn’t resist. But I chanced a glance at Taio, unsure if this was acceptable. He raised a brow at me, not in annoyance but more in question. I could read his expressions quite well by now, and he was not intimidated by Chu holding me. He seemed to be asking me if Chu was what I wanted.

We continued dancing, and Chu looked down at me with a smile. He really was a very handsome man, especially those deep green eyes. “You are so lovely,” he said slowly so that I could understand.

I ducked my head, shaking it to disagree. His thumb stroked under my chin, lifting it. “Belleza,” he said then bent his head to kiss me. For a moment I didn’t understand what was happening. As soon as I did, I pushed back before his lips could brush mine. Chu didn’t release my hands but didn’t try to pull me back to him either. He inclined his head at me, not seeming annoyed at all at my rejection but accepting of it. “Forgive me,” he said. “I could not resist.”

“Yes resist,” I said in my toddler-speak. He was fortunate I’d had so much manza water, or I would have punched him.

He bowed to me and then twirled me about until I was laughing again. Somehow I drank another goblet, and then I was dancing with Omira who, thankfully, did not try and kiss me. Finally, my head was spinning, and I collapsed beside Taio who leaned over and murmured in my ear. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yes.”

He drew back and looked down at me. “But?”

“Can we go somewhere the music isn’t so loud?”

“You want quiet?”

“I want you,” I said. Before I knew what was happening, Taio was kissing me. I lay back on the pillow and returned the kiss, not even caring that other people could see us. Finally, Taio withdrew. He replaced the guitara and spoke to his friends who made a chorus of disapproval. But he grabbed my hand anyway, pulled me up, and we stumbled down the stairs.

Well, I stumbled. Taio seemed unaffected by the manza water. I was not drunk exactly, but I was happy and felt lighter. Somehow night had fallen while we’d been inside that upper room and now lamps spilled gold light across the narrow street. I wrapped my arms around Taio, and he looked down at me. Whatever he saw made his eyes darken, and he pushed me into the shadow of another house and up against the wall.

I was so hungry for him that I took hold of his tunic and yanked him to me. Our mouths crashed together in a tumult of tongues and lips. I cupped his face in my hands, liking the feel of the light stubble on his cheeks. My hands raked into his hair, loosening it from its fastening. I pressed my body against his, feeling how much he wanted me. Then his hand skated down my hip and ruched up the dress, and he slid his fingers over bare skin. He pushed my undergarment aside and cupped my sex.

“Mara,” he breathed against my mouth as his fingers stroked my wet flesh. “I want to take you right here.”

“Yes,” I said, though I knew I should be mortified. Someone might walk past us.

“No,” he said. “I want to do this properly.” His fingers teased me, and I squirmed.

“Oh, you are doing it properly,” I said as my breath quickened.

He smiled down at me. “Let’s go. Hurry.”

Then his hand was gone, and he’d pushed my dress back into place. He put his arm about my waist and led me onto the Gold Path. Lights twinkled all along the route back to Gold House, almost like little stars I could touch. Above us, the night was crisp and clear, devoid of smoke. I knew the Hollows were just over the tops of the mountains and beyond the river, but I couldn’t see them or hear them, and I could almost forget them.

When we reached Gold House, two sentries stood at the open doors. “Are these doors always open?” I asked Taio.

“Yes, this is the people’s house. It is always open to them.”

A multitude of tiny flames burned above us, but the entryway was not as bright as when I’d first arrived. Had that only been a day ago? It felt like weeks. We walked to the stairs, and I wondered if we would go to my chamber or Taio’s. Before I could lift my skirts to start up the staircase, Taio swept me into his arms and carried me up.

I laughed, my head still buzzing from the manza water. “Put me down,” I said.

“I will put you in my bed.”

I wrapped my hands about his neck and pulled his mouth down for a kiss. Somehow we reached a door, which Taio kicked open then closed with his boot. He set me on my feet and turned me to face the door. “Do not turn around until I say.”

“Why?”

“Mara, obey me this one time.”

“Fine.” I put a hand against the door to stop my head from spinning. And then Taio’s arms came around me, and he carefully turned me to face the room. The chamber was large, larger than mine on the first floor. I could see another level up above, and I suspected that was also spacious. In one alcove was an enormous bed, large enough to fit three Zulenii or four Earslehens. Candles twinkled on the bedside table, illuminating the shiny satin sheets revealed by the hastily thrown back covers. Candles lined the floor, making a path to the bed. That path had been strewn with flower petals. Beyond the bed was a window that probably looked out onto the mountain. Taio had left it open so the thin drapes undulated in the light breeze. From outside, I could hear the ever-present music of the city.

“Candles.” Taio kissed my neck. “Music.” He began to take down my hair. “Satin sheets.” I heard the pins drop on the marble floor as he unfastened the back of the dress I wore.

“Everything you promised me,” I said, looking up at him.

“I also promised you vine water. But mayhap you have had enough.”

“For the moment,” I said. He slid my dress over my shoulders, and I let it fall to the ground. Taio took my hand and led me along the flickering line of candles, stopping along the way to remove my undergarments until I wore nothing. Then he picked me up and deposited me gently on the sheets, which felt cool and slippery under my bare skin. I luxuriated in the feel for a moment, enjoying the sound of Taio’s guttural groan as I stretched. Then I sat with my legs dangling over the side of the bed. I tugged Taio between my legs and began to unfasten his tunic. Once I removed that garment, I couldn’t stop my hands from exploring the muscles of his chest and arms, pausing only so he could remove the rest of his clothing. I reached for him when he was naked before me, but he shook his head.

“Remember what we say in Zulen.”

“You say a lot of things in Zulen.”

“Ladies first,” he said and sank to his knees. He pushed my knees open and began to kiss my inner thigh. I inhaled sharply, and though I was tempted to lie back and let him do whatever he wanted, I watched his dark head move between my legs as his mouth edged closer and closer to my center. There was absolutely nowhere I would rather be right now. I loved the feel of Taio’s hands gripping my thighs and the hiss of the candle flame and the far-away strum of a guitara. Thank the gods Taio had taken me to his chamber. Then a thought occurred to me.

“Taio?”

“Hmm?”

“What would you have done if Chu had kissed me?” I asked.

Taio’s mouth brushed over the crease at the juncture of my thigh. “If it was what you wanted, I would have allowed it.” His mouth dipped down, but I grasped his shoulder. He looked up at me, his expression impatient. He wanted to taste me.

“You would not have cared if Chu kissed me?”

“I did not say I would not care.”

“You would have been angry?”

“If you wanted to kiss him, then I would have been pleased for you. I want you to be free to enjoy yourself.”

“And if I went home with him?”

“Then I would be here alone, and I would hope you would choose me tomorrow.”

“I don’t understand you. If you were with Saabin right now, I would be banging on the door with my hammer ready to bash her head in.”

Taio smiled and slid his hands higher on my thighs. “So violent.” He dipped his head down.

“Taio.”

“Let me kiss you,” he murmured against my sex. How was I to argue? His mouth began to move, and I could hardly focus.

“Don’t you feel jealous?” I asked, too distracted by his lips and tongue to care that I had told him I was not jealous of Saabin just a few hours ago.

“We are taught to suppress jealousy,” he said against my skin. “But of course I feel jealousy.”

“You were jealous of Gaz,” I said. He looked up at me, and I wished I hadn’t said Gaz’s name. But now that I had, I might as well ask what I’d been wondering. “How is Chu different from Gaz?”

Taio rose, and I thought he might walk away from me. Instead, he climbed onto the bed and pulled me up beside him. We lay face to face, and he stroked my back. “The situation is different. I needed you to separate from Earsleh and follow me to Zleyval. You were our only hope for a cure, and that meant I had to win you in that primitive Claiming Rite.”

“Primitive?”

He raised his brows. “My people would never allow any person to be won or lost, much less through such a violent spectacle. But it is your tradition, and I used it to my advantage.” His hand squeezed my bottom.

“What does that have to do with Gaz?”

“He wanted to break the agreement and claim your affections—or perhaps reclaim them. If I allowed that then my win in the Claiming Rite would have meant nothing. You would not have felt honor-bound to accompany me.”

He was right. Gaz had been trying to undermine him from the very beginning, and though I had seen Gaz’s behavior as dishonorable, if Taio had allowed it, I would not have respected him.

“And then there is the fact that Gaz wanted to kill me. I would not watch someone who wished me ill touch you.”

“And that’s the difference? Chu is your friend.”

“Chu is one of many men who will want you, Mara. They will want to pleasure you and take some pleasure for themselves if you will allow it. Their desire for you has nothing to do with me. Gaz wanted you because he wanted to take something from me. I apologize if saying that hurts you, but he is not worthy of you.”

I put a hand on Taio’s cheek. “I already know he’s not worthy of me, and I know he never really wanted me. And truthfully, as soon as I met you, I never wanted anyone else. I will not want anyone else.”

“You cannot be certain—”

“I can.” I cast my eyes down. “I said before that I didn’t remember saying that I l-l-...what I said on the mountain. I do remember saying it,” I whispered the last.

“Really?”

I laughed and pushed him, but I still didn’t meet his gaze.

“And I meant it, Taio. I do...what I said on the mountain.”

“I do not remember these words you speak of. Tell me again.”

I looked up at him, and he raised his brows in challenge.

“You will make me say it again?”

“I want to hear it.” He kissed me gently and pulled me closer.

How could I deny him? Even if I shook with nerves at the thought of being so vulnerable with him, I wanted to tell him. “I love you,” I whispered into his chest.

“What was that?”

I smacked him. “You are impossible! I said, I love you.” This time my gaze met his, and something passed between us when I said the words. Desire pooled in my belly and the ache between my thighs grew more insistent.

“I love you, Mara,” Taio said, pushing me back and grasping my wrists. He pushed my hands over my head, and straddled me, lowering his lips to mine. I was moaning for him when he finally broke the kiss. “I do not want to speak of other men,” he said, taking my wrists in one hand and sliding his other down to cup my aching breast. “You are mine tonight.”

“I’m yours always,” I said as he kissed my neck then repositioned his body between my legs. His eyes met mine as he nudged my thighs open.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Please,” I whispered. I’d been aching for him all day.

He filled me slowly, carefully, but I didn’t want tender and gentle. I bucked my hips, taking him deeper. His eyes went dark as I clenched around him. I tried to free my wrists, but he shook his head and held them tight.

“Harder,” I said. “Faster.”

He moved inside me, igniting pleasure that seemed to fill my every pore. And yet I wanted more. “Taio,” I said, not even knowing the words. His gaze still fixed on mine, we moved together—not at the frenetic pace I’d wanted, but I should have known to trust him. This slow climb to pleasure was torture in the best way.

“There?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes.”

Our eyes were still locked together, and I couldn’t look away from him. He was so handsome with his intense gaze and his blue-black hair sliding over my skin. The lion tattoo on his chest seemed to move as the candles flickered. Just as my pleasure began to crest, he released my wrists, and I arched my back, pressing hard into him. We both moaned—well, mayhap I did a bit more than moan. I had no idea what I did as the world seemed to burst into colors and my body went limp and heavy.

When I finally opened my eyes again, Taio was still inside me. Still hard.

“You didn’t—?”

“I want this night to last,” he said, brushing his lips over mine. My body wakened again. I didn’t know how I could want him again after what he’d just given to me, but I did. “More?” he asked as his mouth trailed over my jaw.

“More,” I said and lightly bit his shoulder. “Fast and hard this time.”

“Have it your way.” In one quick move, he flipped our positions, so he lay back on the satin sheets while I looked down at him. He was still inside me, the feel of his swollen member making me breathless. But my body knew what it wanted. My hips began to move, and he closed his eyes in obvious pleasure mixed with determination. “If you keep doing that,” he said through gritted teeth, “this will be over too soon.”

“This is my way,” I said, watching as his cheeks reddened and his breathing grew rapid. I ran my hands over his chest possessively. The Zulenii might be open-minded about sharing partners, but I was not. I wanted Taio all to myself tonight and every night.

“Mara.” Taio’s voice was little more than a growl. His hands gripped my hips, and the way his fingers dug into my flesh sent a tingle of pleasure through me that began to spiral into a wave. I moved faster, taking him deeper, moving with him until my vision began to dim. Taio cried out, and I felt him swell inside me. Stars exploded in my vision as somehow this climax was even stronger than before. I collapsed on top of him, my ear against his chest where his heart thudded strong and fast against his ribcage.

“More?” he said in Zulenii, voice ragged.

I laughed and rolled off him. “I can’t move.”

“Nor I.” He was still speaking in Zulenii. I rose on my elbow and pushed the hair off his forehead.

“Did you forget your Earslehen?”

“I forgot my name,” he said in my language. Then he turned on his side and kissed me tenderly. “I have never been with anyone like you,” he said.

I closed my eyes. “You don’t have to say that. Leed told me you have not suffered from female attention.”

“And yet, no one has ever made me feel the way you do—in bed or out.”

I wanted to tell him I felt the same, but I couldn’t seem to form the words. Taio kissed me again then pulled the covers up around me. I was not yet cold, but the fabric was so soft that I couldn’t stop myself from burrowing in.

“Vine water?” Taio asked.

“I think I’ve had enough for tonight.”

“Water then.” He walked across the room, seemingly unconcerned with his nakedness. I very much appreciated that as his body was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. He had the body of a warrior, honed by years of training. He might sing and play guitara, but Leed had trained him to fight, and his long lines and defined muscles proved he had trained long and hard.

He returned with a cup of water for me then poured himself wine. He’d drunk a fraction of what I had tonight as he’d been singing and playing. He sipped the wine then set it down and climbed in beside me. With a sigh, he leaned back and closed his eyes. I snuggled against him, letting my hand cover the place where his heart had beat against my ear a few moments ago.

“I dreamed about this,” he said. “When we walked all day, watching for attacks by Twilight Men. At night, I lay beside you on the hard ground and thought about how one day I would have you in my bed. I would unravel your braid and imagine all the things I might do to you.”

“What sort of things did you imagine?” I asked.

“I will show you when I recover my strength.”

I kissed his neck, the side without the tattoo, and remembered how warm Taio’s body had felt beside mine and how Gaz’s gaze had burned into mine when I chanced a look across the clearing where we’d camped. I’d thought Gaz loved me and felt hurt because he was losing me. But now I knew what love looked like. Taio had looked at me with love tonight and so many other times in the last couple of days. What Gaz had felt for me was not love; it was possession. He wanted me because of my proximity to power. He didn’t love me. He wanted to possess me, as though I was an object—a key that would open doors to his ambitions. I was no object to Taio. I was a full person with my own needs and wants and desires. He didn’t want to own me or control me. He just loved me.

He needed me too—or at least his people needed me. I could save them—save my own people too—if I could decipher the cure for the red vein disease and rid the world of the Hollows. But I didn’t think most Zulenii knew I was here to help them. They only knew I came from a warrior people, and we were a kingdom to fear.

And they were right to fear us because once Gaz returned to Highcastle, my father would begin preparations to muster his soldiers for an attack.

“Taio,” I said, lifting my head from his shoulder.

“Mmm?” His eyes were still closed, but he wasn’t asleep yet.

“I need to tell you something.”

His eyes opened, more blue than green in the candlelight. My hand began to shake now that he’d focused his gaze on me. He always had an intense way of looking at someone, as though he cared deeply about every word they said.

“It’s about Gaz—well, something he told me about my father.”

Taio’s brows lowered, and he pushed up against the pillows. “Go on.”

I gathered the covers and tucked them under my arms, feeling vulnerable. “I’m afraid the Zulenii have more than just the Hollows across the river to worry about.” I swallowed. I wasn’t sure how to tell him, and I wished I’d told him before instead of trying to convince myself it wasn’t true. I glanced at Taio, and he was waiting patiently for me to continue. “Do you remember that stream we found in the forest? Finnrey was dead and Gaz and Nize had run away, but we feared they were tracking us.”

“Yes.”

“Omira and I went to bathe alone. She left me for a moment and Gaz surprised me.”

Taio inhaled sharply but said nothing.

“He wanted me to go back to Highcastle with him. He admitted he had orders to kill you. At the very least, he had orders to bring me back. He said if he arrived at home without me...” I pressed my lips together.

“Tell me,” Taio said, voice low and controlled.

I glanced up at him, but his eyes were unreadable. “He said my father will send an army to destroy Zleyval.”

Taio didn’t move. I don’t think he even took a breath. The silence in the room seemed to go on for so long that I needed to fill it. “You shouldn’t have chosen me, Taio. I’m the worst princess you could have chosen because...there’s something else you don’t know.”

“It appears there is much I do not know,” he said. His tone was sharp. I’d never heard him use that tone with me. I swallowed my unease and continued.

“Before you arrived in Highcastle, my parents told me I am the heir to the throne. Gaz knew this. He said if you had chosen anyone else, my father might have let you live and let her go, but he won’t let me go.” I don’t know what I’d expected from Taio in terms of a response. What he did—sat quietly and seemed to reflect on my words—unnerved me. I wanted to shake him and make him say something. Instead, I twisted the sheets in my hands and grew more and more nervous. The fear that I’d pushed down for days threatened to burst out of me. I knew I had been disloyal by not telling Taio. First, I’d convinced myself Gaz was lying. By the time I realized the truth about my father, I couldn’t imagine having to leave Taio and go back. But that was the only way to stop my father, the only way to save the Zulenii. As much as I wanted Taio to tell me I meant more to him than his people, I knew he wouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t love him if that was the kind of man he was.

Finally, Taio looked up at me, and his eyes were bright and hard. All the pleasure and tenderness from earlier had fled. “This is serious,” he said.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you—”

“I don’t mean the army, Mara. I mean your disloyalty.”

I caught my breath in a gasp, even though I’d expected this. What I hadn’t anticipated was the slice of pain his expression and his words sent through me. He looked so disappointed and his nose wrinkled in what could only be described as disgust. Tears welled behind my eyes, but I would not let him see me cry. I would not let him see how my hands shook. He was repulsed by me now, and I didn’t know what to say to fix it.

Taio threw back the covers, found his trousers, and pulled them on. Then he marched across the room, opened a cabinet in the wall, pulled out a garment, and brought it back. He tossed it at me. “Put this on.”

I lifted the garment, noting it was a man’s shirt. I dropped it over my head and thrust my arms through the sleeves. “Taio, I did not mean to be disloyal,” I babbled, desperate now to win a tender look or word from him. “When Gaz told me, I didn’t know the truth about my father.”

He paced in front of the bed, but at my words, he stopped and shot a look at me. “And when you did know, you still did not tell me. Were you Zulenii, your actions would be considered treason.”

Treason? This was too far. How could he not hear how ridiculous he sounded? “Leed said you would be upset, but I am no traitor—”

“You told Leed? You told a man you had never met before you told me?”

“He’s one of my people—”

“I am your people, Mara.” He climbed on the bed and grasped my arms. His grip was firm but not painful. “You want to talk about our journey here? The morning after your sister died, I asked you to choose. Do you remember? I said I would not sleep next to a traitor, and you were free to go with Gaz and the other one or come with me and fight them. I gave you the choice.”

“And I chose you!” That was the time he had called me Lady Mara of the First House of Zulen. That was when I’d been certain he wanted me. That was when Omira had called me her sister. Omira, Yung, and Kintle had knelt before me and pledged their loyalty. “Taio, I told you that your enemies are my enemies. I told you I would rather kill Gaz than go back with him, and when I saw him, I told him the same.”

“If your father is sending an army to kill my people then that makes your father my enemy. Is he yours, Mara?”

I swallowed. He’d laid a trap with his words, and I had to tiptoe carefully. “Taio, he’s my father—”

“Are you loyal to me and my people or to your father and Earsleh?” he demanded. I opened my mouth but couldn’t find the words. Taio released me, and I had to force myself not to reach for him. “Do not answer. I already know.” He turned his back to me and put his head in his hands. “You told a stranger before you told me.” He said the last almost to himself.

This couldn’t be happening. Taio had just told me he loved me. How could everything change so quickly? How could I have made so many mistakes? “Leed told me to tell you,” I said, hoping the words would help but afraid nothing could help now.

Taio whipped his head around to stare at me. “Because he is a loyal Zulenii.”

“I am loyal,” I whispered. I’d just wanted to avoid the inevitable exile, and this reaction was unlike anything I’d anticipated. There would be no tearful goodbye when I was sent away. Taio would be glad to see me go.

“No, you are not. If you were loyal, you would have told me as soon as Gaz approached you. If you were loyal, the day you told me my enemies were yours, you would have confided you are the heir to the throne. You did none of that.”

“I thought Gaz was lying!” This was true—partly. But I immediately regretted the words. I sounded desperate.

Taio shook his head. “Or perhaps you knew that for once he was telling the truth. But you wanted to hold on to your precious honor, even though I have proven to you, time and again, your king—your father—has no honor.”

I looked away, the tears stinging behind my eyes threatening to spill forth. Taio shoved off the bed, as though he couldn’t stand to be close to me. “All I asked from you was loyalty,” Taio said. “Did I want more? Yes. But did I require you to give me your body or your heart to bring you to my home? No. I had one requirement, and that seems to be the one thing you still cannot give me.”

“Taio—”

He waited, and I wanted to tell him I’d been afraid he would send me home. But I couldn’t tell him because his eyes were hard now. And because I was a coward. I had so little of myself and my history left to cling to that I could not crack my chest open and spill out everything I held there. Every single instinct told me to don my armor, shut him out, protect myself. I’d been wrong to ever let him see there was anything beneath my hard exterior.

Taio sighed when I did not speak. “Even worse, you have been lying to me all this time.” He sounded so resigned.

“I never lied,” I argued, but my heart wasn’t in it. This was over. What we’d shared, what I’d imagined my future to be. It was all over, like a bubble I’d been waiting to burst.

“Omission is lying. An army marches on Zleyval, Mara. Did you plan to act surprised when they attacked?”

“No! I would have told you—”

“When? You tell me now because your countryman tells you to do so. Your loyalty is still with Earsleh.”

“Of course, I still have loyalty for them. You cannot expect me to just extinguish all my feelings for my people like one blows out a candle. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Now you are being honest.” He pointed at me. “And this truth I could accept it if you never pledged your fealty to me. If you never made me believe...” He took a breath and closed his eyes.

Oh, that look on his face hurt more than anything he had said. That flash of pain cut me right in two. “Say it,” I demanded, my voice breaking.

“It does not matter. I cannot trust you. I do not know what to believe anymore.”

“I know you don’t believe me, but you can trust me, Taio. I never meant to lie.”

He shook his head. “I need time alone. I need to think what to do.” He reached for his tunic and started for the door.

“Are you leaving?” I asked, incredulous.

“Yes.”

“But this is your chamber. I should be the one to leave.”

“Fine.” He turned back to me. “Then leave.”

Another blow. I hadn’t really thought he would tell me to go. I would crumple soon. I could not hold all my broken and bleeding pieces together. I just needed to cling to those pieces until he couldn’t see me. Taio stood at the door, hands on hips, watching me impatiently. Just a short while ago, he’d been looking at me with love and desire. Now he couldn’t even meet my eyes. I slid off the bed and stumbled along the candlelit path he’d made. The wine, the satin sheets, the flower petals—he’d done all of this for me. And what had I done? Disappointed him. Betrayed his trust. Been too much of a fool to accept the truth—my father was not a hero. He was the villain, and if I stood with him, so was I.

Taio didn’t reach for me as I passed him. He didn’t say a word. He stood frozen as I pulled his door open and stepped into the cold corridor outside.

Then he closed the door and left me standing in the dark.