Chapter 8 - The Future She Left Behind

“More potato salad, Shirley?” Birdie held out the bowl.

“Good heavens, no. It’s high in cholesterol and bad for the waistline.”

This was the third instance when Katelyn’s mother-in-law had commented on the fatty ingredients in the meal Birdie had put on the table.

“There are pills you can take for your cholesterol,” Birdie said. “Besides, who cares about our waistlines at our age?”

“I’ll have another spoonful.” Katelyn reached for the salad.

Shirley made a tsk-tsk sound. “Now is not the time to let yourself go.”

Birdie’s gaze swung to Katelyn. “What’s she talking about?”

“Nothing.” Katelyn shot Shirley a warning glare, hoping she’d keep quiet about the divorce.

“Do you have plans for your birthday, Birdie?” Shirley asked.

“I do.” Birdie tapped the end of her fork against the table and gave Katelyn the look—a squinty-eyed stare that insisted they’d talk later.

“Mom’s friends have a party for the birthday girl at their weekly bridge game,” Katelyn said to break the silence.

“I’ve never played bridge. Robert and I mostly socialized at cocktail parties and of course we attended community fund-raisers each year.”

When Birdie didn’t invite Shirley to her birthday celebration, Katelyn kicked her shin beneath the table.

“Ouch!” Birdie rubbed her leg. “You can come to my party if you want.”

“Thank you, but”—Shirley dabbed the edge of the napkin against her mouth—“I wouldn’t fit in with your friends.”

Birdie rolled her eyes. “You’ll fit in fine. All of our husbands are dead.”

Shirley ignored the comment and patted Katelyn’s arm. “You should make your mother the chocolate fudge cake you baked for my birthday.”

Birdie talked around the food in her mouth. “I can’t remember the last time my daughter baked a cake for me.”

“Katelyn uses sour cream in the frosting. It’s delicious.”

Birdie smirked. “My mother’s recipe.”

Katelyn felt a headache coming on.

“We polished it off in two days.”

“What happened to counting calories?” Birdie asked.

“Katelyn ate most of it. If I recall, you also drank two bottles of wine that day.”

“I’m full.” Katelyn set her napkin on the table.

“Of course you are.” Shirley stared at Katelyn’s empty plate. “You ate for two tonight.”

Birdie crushed her napkin into a ball and Katelyn lurched across the table, grabbing the paper projectile before it beaned her mother-in-law in the face. “I put fresh towels for you on your bed, Shirley.” Katelyn cleared the dishes, carrying her mother’s arsenal of weapons to the sink first.

“Do you need any help?” Shirley asked on her way out of the kitchen.

“No, thanks. I have everything under control.” That was the furthest thing from the truth. If Katelyn didn’t tell her mother soon that Don had filed for divorce, Shirley would blurt out the news.

“I believe I’ll turn in early. It’s been a long couple of days,” Shirley said.

As soon as the stairs creaked, Birdie whispered, “What happened to taking a tour of the town?”

“She probably forgot. I’ll drive her around tomorrow.” Katelyn opened the pantry. “Want me to make a pot of coffee?” Her mother drank decaf after supper.

“I’d rather you tell me what the heck is going on.” Birdie covered the leftover potato salad with plastic wrap and stored the bowl in the fridge.

There was no sense delaying the conversation. A good night’s rest wouldn’t change Katelyn’s situation or make it easier to explain. “How about peppermint schnapps instead of coffee?”

“Oh, Lord. This can’t be good.” Birdie bumped Katelyn aside and found a bottle of Hiram Walker in the back of the pantry. “Bring the glasses.”

Katelyn would rather chat on the front porch. The back porch was her mother’s domain and she’d always felt trapped sitting behind the house without a view of the town.

“Leave the light off so the bugs don’t come calling.” Birdie poured two fingers of liquor in each juice glass.

“Thanks.” Katelyn sipped the alcohol, the taste bringing back memories of eating the tiny candy canes her mother had hung on the Christmas tree each year. “How come you never fixed up the front of the house?”

“What do you mean?”

“The front porch would look cute with a couple of chairs and a potted plant.”

“Why would I do that?”

“So you could sit out there once in a while.” And not hide from the world back here.

“I like the back porch. It faces west and I can watch the sun set.”

“Seriously, Mom. Why haven’t you decorated the front of the house all these years?” Katelyn couldn’t even remember a holiday wreath on the door.

Birdie tossed back the remainder of her schnapps. “Because I don’t want to sit out there and stare at the place I work every day.”

Katelyn couldn’t recall her mother complaining about her job before. “I thought you liked cashiering at the Buy & Bag.”

Birdie shrugged. “It’s a paycheck.”

“Why didn’t you quit years ago and find a job doing something else?”

“We only had one vehicle, and it was easy to walk down the hill to the store.” What about after Katelyn’s father had died? Birdie could have landed a new job then.

“Have you thought about retiring?”

“Not all women are blessed with a husband who makes lots of money.”

Ouch. “Dad left you a life insurance policy.”

“Fifty thousand dollars is a drop in the bucket. I put that in savings to cover my funeral expenses and to help settle my estate when the time comes.”

“If you’re having financial trouble, you should have told me.”

“I’m making ends meet.”

Birdie was too stubborn for her own good. Once Katelyn received the lump sum settlement from the divorce, she could pay off her mother’s house and lighten her load. Maybe then Birdie would cut back on her hours at the store.

“And it’s silly that you send me a thousand dollars every year for my birthday,” Birdie said.

Silly or not, her mother cashed the check within a week of receiving it. “I miss Mack.” Katelyn stared at the yellow lantana patch covering the dog’s grave, wishing her childhood buddy sat beside her now. She’d welcome one of his slobbery kisses.

Birdie poured herself a second shot of schnapps. “Are we through beating around the bush?”

There was no good way to ease into the subject. “Don filed for divorce.”

“Don did?”

Katelyn tore her gaze from the yard. “You sound surprised.”

“I always thought you’d be the one to leave him.”

“Me?”

“Don’s gone more than he’s home with you and the kids. That’s no marriage.”

Katelyn shoved her fingers through her hair, knocking the clip loose. “I admit it hasn’t always been easy parenting by myself, but Don’s been a good provider.” She vacated her chair and sat on the porch step. “The divorce seems surreal, because we rarely argued.”

“It’s difficult to fight with someone you don’t know.”

Katelyn hadn’t shared any intimate details of her marriage with her mother, but obviously Birdie had seen through her daughter and son-in-law’s relationship.

“What do the kids think?” Birdie asked.

“They don’t know yet. I’m making Don tell them.”

“And Shirley?”

“She wants Don and me to reconcile.”

Birdie grabbed the bottle of liquor and joined Katelyn on the steps. “Shirley never thought you were good enough for her son. I’m surprised she agreed to come home with you.”

“I’m the lesser of two evils. She’d rather be with me than be left by herself.” Katelyn drained her glass, then wheezed. “There’s another woman.”

“There usually is,” Birdie said.

Don’s infidelity was a slap in the face. The spark might have flickered out of their marriage, but until now she’d respected her husband. “We have over eighteen years together.”

“You mean eighteen years mostly apart,” Birdie said.

Birdie’s jabs at Don were justified. He hadn’t been a very good son-in-law. There were things around the house that Birdie could have used a man’s help with after Katelyn’s father had died, but Don would rather pay a professional to do the work than take the time to travel to Texas and help his mother-in-law.

“He put the house up for sale, and we’ve already received an offer. And he wants Shirley to move into a retirement apartment.”

“He’s not letting any grass grow under his feet.”

“I’m guessing Lauren—his new lover—isn’t keen on Shirley living with them.”

“I don’t care for the way Shirley criticizes you.” Birdie sniffed. “Maybe she’s kept her figure all these years, but her hair is ridiculous. It looks like she’s walking around with a wild boar on top of her head.”

Katelyn laughed.

“You need to stand up for yourself, daughter.”

“I do when it’s important, but some things aren’t worth protesting.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were having marital problems?”

“I didn’t know Don was unhappy.”

“You mean you ignored all the signs.”

Katelyn opened her mouth to refute the charge, then snapped it closed. Was she guilty of voluntary blindness? Her mind raced through the past year, dissecting Don’s calls, his visits, his body language. He used to hug her and give her a long good-bye kiss. The last time he’d left on a business trip, he’d kissed her on the cheek.

Birdie stabbed her finger in the air. “Don is a pompous ass.”

Katelyn agreed, but no matter how big of a buffoon her husband was, she appreciated the privileged life he’d provided her and the kids. A life Katelyn’s father, working as a park ranger, could never have given Birdie in a million years.

“Remember when you brought Don home to meet me and your father?” Birdie said. “I invited him to sit down and he brushed his hand across the sofa fabric as if our furniture would dirty his clothes.”

Don’s obvious discomfort around Katelyn’s parents had put a damper on the visit, and they’d left early, using the excuse of having to prepare for exams.

“So did you come home for my birthday or because you needed a shoulder to cry on?”

“Can I say both?”

Birdie whisked a strand of Katelyn’s snarled hair out of her eyes. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

She rested her head against her mother’s shoulder. “Besides Shirley’s snootiness, why do you dislike her so much?”

“I’m jealous of her.”

“I know she’s lived a life of leisure, but—”

“It has nothing to do with her wealth.” Birdie sat up straight, forcing Katelyn to lift her head away. “I’ve been a widow seven years longer than Shirley, yet you and Don never invited me to move in with you.”

“You didn’t leave the stove on and go out all day.”

“It shouldn’t matter that my memory isn’t short-circuiting. Did you ever think I might have been lonely?”

The thought had never crossed Katelyn’s mind. “All your friends are here.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to live with you all year-round, but I would have enjoyed spending a month each summer with you and the kids.”

“I invited you to fly up every Christmas.”

“I didn’t care to spend the holidays with your in-laws.”

“I said I was sorry that Shirley and Robert showed up unannounced that one time.” Katelyn couldn’t believe her mother was still miffed about the incident.

“You should have asked them to stay at a hotel, but instead you moved me out of the guest suite.”

A lump formed in Katelyn’s throat, blocking her airway.

“Remember when I broke my ankle last year?”

“Don and I said we’d cover any medical bills that your insurance didn’t pay for.”

“I didn’t want your money. I wanted you,” Birdie whispered.

“I offered to fly home, but you insisted your friends were taking good care of you.”

Birdie poured herself a third shot and tossed it back, then thunked the glass against the step. “I only said that after you made excuses about how you needed time to find rides for Melissa and Michael to their after-school activities.”

“I was thinking out loud, not making excuses.”

“Don should have taken a week off to stay at home with Shirley and the kids.”

Shame filled Katelyn. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She reached for the bottle of schnapps. “Shirley will be out of the picture soon.”

“Putting that woman in an apartment of her own is the first smart thing Don’s done in years.”

Katelyn steered the conversation in a different direction. “I didn’t know Jackson was in town.”

“He moved back a few years ago.”

“You never told me.”

Birdie’s chest expanded, then slowly deflated when she released a loud breath. “You stopped coming out here after Shirley moved to St. Louis, so I didn’t think it mattered if you knew or not.” Birdie bumped Katelyn’s arm. “Aren’t you going to ask if he’s married?”

“I didn’t see a ring on his finger when he dropped off the mower.”

“So you looked.”

“Of course I looked.” Katelyn’s smile faded as she studied her wedding band. Until now she’d forgotten she still wore the symbol of love, commitment and loyalty. She twirled the platinum circle embedded with diamonds around her finger. Should she take it off or leave it on until the divorce was final? She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and said, “Jackson’s still as sexy as ever.”

Birdie tipped her head back and laughed. “Even on a good day, Don can’t hold a candle to Jackson’s looks.”

Katelyn sighed. Her life was a mess right now. The last thing she needed was to become involved with her old flame. But having a friend to talk to would be nice. Jackson had always been a good listener. Her gaze swung to the Mercedes. “I’ll try to keep Shirley out of your way.”

Birdie put her arm around Katelyn’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m sorry about the divorce, but I’m glad you’re here.” She kissed the top of Katelyn’s head, then went into the house, leaving the bottle of schnapps behind.

As soon as the door shut, the tears she’d held at bay since leaving St. Louis leaked from Katelyn’s eyes. Birdie wasn’t a woman who wore her feelings on her sleeve—most strong women weren’t—but this was the first time after Katelyn left for college that her mother had come close to admitting she missed her daughter.