Chapter 31 - You Are Beautiful and You Are Alone: The Biography of Nico

On 17 January 1971, Nico appeared on stage with John Cale at his first post-Velvet Underground solo gig, at the Roundhouse in London. Cale accompanied Nico on piano and viola during some of her songs, the singer later telling an interviewer for Record Mirror that the two were ‘still best friends … we have the same taste in music’. She goes on to say that she would like to continue working with Cale, ‘if he wants to work with me, but I might change my music. But if I want to change my music I have to start playing dif­ferent instruments’ – something she never did. Nico revealed that she was working on a new film with Philippe Garrel, taking on the role of ‘a movie director who gets killed by a big camera in the end. I think it is every movie director’s wish to be killed by his camera. They get obsessed with their function and to them nothing is more important than their camera.’ This particular project never came to fruition. On one of the few occasions when Nico acknowledges her appearance and any hindrance it may cause her, she concludes by saying, ‘I would really like to write film score music, but I don’t know how to get into it. People don’t believe that a beautiful girl can do that!’

In February, she recorded a four-song BBC session for John Peel. The radio DJ had a reputation for championing music from outside of the mainstream, and Nico was no exception. Her appearance on the show, performing alone, accompanied only by the haunting harmonium, bolstered her importance in out­sider culture. Two tracks were from The Marble Index (‘No One Is There’ and ‘Frozen Warnings’); one was from her recent album Desertshore (‘Janitor of Lunacy’); the fourth, ‘Secret Side’, was a new track, illustrating that Nico was working on fresh material. Peel was reportedly dazzled by Nico’s voice, but less so by meet­ing her, as the singer walked out of the studio during an on-air conversation with the DJ. Peel noted this interaction, writing in his diary on 4 February 1971 that Nico was ‘stunningly rude’ and ‘Andy Warhol NY super cool rat shit’.

By April, Nico had secured some New York shows at the Gaslight club. Though these gigs never actually took place, a series of record­ings exist from practice sessions held at the apartment of music industry friends Richard and Lisa Robinson from 9 April 1971, where she was joined by Lou Reed. It is unclear whether Reed planned on accompanying her during the shows, but the tapes offer great insight into the complicated Nico/Reed dynamic. Reed has been hailed a genius, but he clearly needed Nico, at least in the early Velvet days, to position him for this future exaltation. As her addiction became worse, Nico saw Reed as a possible ray of hope. This material mostly features the two going through old Velvet Underground and Chelsea Girl material, rather than any of the newer tracks from The Marble Index or Desertshore. The recordings show a tenderness between Reed and Nico, who joke throughout the sessions and return each other’s banter:

(Reed begins to play guitar over playback.)

Reed (tuning guitar): [I hope?] we’re in the right key. Can you play that again?

(Playback begins again, and Reed plays guitar chords over the top; possibly chuckles.)

Nico (upbeat): It’s just so low. It’s lower than my lowest song!

At many points throughout the more than an hour’s worth of recording, Reed is kind, reassuring and patient with the singer. Her link to Paul Morrissey as her guardian and mentor is still obvious, as she says, ‘Morrissey gave me a lecture … the other day, on how I shouldn’t despise these songs that I liked very much one time.’ Reed says, ‘I know you can do it,’ as Nico worries that she won’t be able to perform the Chelsea Girl material correctly:

Nico (animated): Because I know the lyrics of that one and (quietly) [our one?]. The other one, the Dylan one. ‘I’ll Keep It with Mine’. (laughing) ‘These Days’, I forgot! (upbeat) So I will have to learn from (quietly) what I’ve taped just now. (animated) So, we can go over the other three now and then ‘I’ll Keep It with Mine’.

Reed: Then we’re gonna have to rehearse on Monday.

Danny Fields makes a cameo on the tapes, acting as Nico’s cheer­leader, friend and confidant, as per usual. As the two discuss what songs should be included in her set list, it is clear that Nico, though demurring somewhat while in the presence of Reed, is still set on performing her new material:

Fields: You wanna do five songs?

Nico: I mean, from the old … the old.

Fields (over Nico): Is that a fifteen-minute set? Oh.

Nico: And then my own.

Fields: How many songs all together?

Nico: All together?

Fields: Yeah …

Later on that same day, another taped conversation between Nico and Fields reveals frustration on both sides of the relation­ship. Nico is annoyed by her label Reprise’s lack of promotion for the release of Desertshore and tries to rope Fields into aiding her again. Throughout the chat, Fields is thinking about different opportunities and ways to help Nico, from reconnecting her with former bandmates and producers to getting her gigs and creating a track record that a label or promoter could get behind. It seems that Nico, under the influence of tequila, had broached the idea of Fields managing her, but did not get the enthusiastic reply she had craved. This sets the tone for the first minute of the conversation, in which Nico is less talkative.

Nico: What do you want them to do?

Fields: Well, it would be nice if they took out an ad or something.

Nico: I know, really. They should do that – an ad.

Fields: Really. They’re usually very good about it. Best company about that.

Nico: Really? (upbeat) I thought Elektra was better (laughs). Remember they had a whole-page ad?

Fields: Yeah, I was there nudging them. Because I was there, yelling at them. If you don’t have anyone there, speaking for you, it’s hard to get something done, you know … I’ll speak for you. I have to see; I just have to get rid of this job at Atlantic.7

Nico: Because, yeah, the night … I don’t know if I was drunk or you were disinterested … (trails off).

Fields: No, I wasn’t disinterested. I just felt that I didn’t know what was happening.

Nico (laughs): Oh yes … You don’t think that, umm … It’s really … (annoyed sigh) I don’t know how to say it (laughs. Pauses) I thought that nightclubs for my sort of music wasn’t the right thing, the right place, but … (trails off).

Fields: Well, I think it’s a good place to be.

Nico (possibly disappointed): Just for a few days – it’s okay.

Fields: I think it’s okay. Then we can get a lot of people in there to see you and everything. Maybe we can get a booking agent in and see what can be done, you know?

Nico (quietly): Yes.

Fields is obviously trying to get Nico to start thinking about ways to promote herself and get her career back on track. His personal frustration with his current position is clear, as he gently tries to nudge Nico into some sort of action. He then starts to think of other people whom Nico could work with, including ‘Lewis’ (Lou Reed):

Fields: Are you in touch with Joe Boyd at all?

Nico: No, no, he …

Fields: What about John [Cale]?

Nico: John …

Fields: Would you like to do an act with Lewis?

Nico: Sure.

Fields: Lewis said he would like to do something with you.

Nico: Yes, I would like to, but what do you mean – an act?

Fields: Perform together, sing each other’s songs, I dunno, like Sonny and Cher.

Nico (quietly, possibly smiling): Oh no, I can’t do that. (Danny laughs.) I only want to sing my own things now. Maybe sing one song … but not more. Because that’s … (laughs and trails off).

Fields: Because we were listening to the tapes of the Velvet Underground and they were playing ‘I’ll Be Your Mirror’, and Lewis pointed to the speakers and said, ‘Do you think I could work with her?’ (laughs) I said, ‘Sure, that’s a good idea.’

Nico: I could always sing that song, ‘I’ll Be Your Mirror’. But I don’t want to sing the others.

Fields: Yeah, I know. We should think about it; we could put you and John and Lewis … and somehow make John director, musical director. That would be fabulous. As a first start – this is nice.

Nico: But he hasn’t got a moral left now.

Fields: Who?

Nico: John. Because he is being paid for just sitting back …8

Fields: That’s what I am too. I know how it feels. (Nico laughs.)

Nico (upbeat): It feels terrible, doesn’t it?

Fields: Yeah, it does, really. It’s not dignified at all. It’s not nice, you don’t have any pride or anything. You just feel awful. Like, you just hate the people that you work for, they just look like pigs. It’s awful.

Fields’s attempt to bring Nico and Reed back together again is interesting, as is her positive response. The conversation then moves on to Cale’s new undertaking as producer for the Stooges:

Nico: Tell me, what is your … your (quietly) business model?

Fields: That is my business. I’m waiting. The Stooges didn’t work, because Iggy was on junk all winter. (Nico gasps.) I know, you’re telling me.

Nico (shocked): Iggy? He’s on junk now?

Fields: He was, he’s off it now. But he almost died once. And then he stopped, and he hasn’t taken it since, but it was terrible, though. He would throw up all night, before the job, and it was just … (Nico laughs.) He was missing work, running into debt and was hustling for money. Man, it was just awful. I sent them money. I thought it was going to go for rent on the house, and it went for junk. (Nico exclaims off mic.) … They weren’t working, and it was just really low. But then he almost died one night …

Nico: Did he take that much? (laughing) How much?

Fields: I don’t know how much; it was a lot. He almost died, and he just stopped right then and there.

Nico: Is Jim … Jimmy9 back with them?

Fields: No, he hasn’t been with them for a year … so I’ve been the only one, that’s why I haven’t been able to go out and work for them, because there’s no one to …

Nico (cutting across him): Are they still very popular?

Fields: Well now, they’re starting to work again this week for the first time in months. And everybody wants to see them. So I guess they’ll be pretty popular. If we can keep them working and keep them straight … They should get very big pretty soon. The price went up. When they start working, they’re making almost four thousand a night now, which is not bad; between three and four thousand a night. If they do that regularly, then I’ll be able to take enough money from that to be able to leave them and just start a little office and get a secretary.

Nico seems to be desperately looking for guidance or hope. Fields had provided a stable, unerring support system throughout these years of her solo career. The trust she has in him is clear in her bald honesty. Nico rarely, if ever, shared her opinions of her counterparts or her aspirations and true feelings with anyone – especially jour­nalists, in the few interviews that still can be found. Her comments here to Fields reveal that there is a tension – perhaps jealousy on Nico’s part – towards Reed’s and Cale’s continuing success. Equally intriguing are Nico’s enquiries after Pop; her tone and temperament when discussing the singer provide an important illustration of the tenderness she still felt towards her former flame.

Nico then confides to Fields that she is feeling more confident about her performance style, having improved from even fairly recent shows. She also shares an aspiration to play at a much-revered venue, showing either great hope for the future or total delusion:

Nico: I’d like to play at the Carnegie Hall.

Fields: Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Nico (laughs): Because I’m really not afraid any more. When you saw me two years ago, a year and a half ago, it was nothing like that. (Fields agrees in background. Nico is animated) Nothing like that now! It only took me three appearances to get rid of that.

Fields: How are you fixed for money?

Nico: Well, I am okay now, because Fred [Hughes] owed me some (quietly) and he gave it to me.

Fields: If you need a little more, I can always let you have some until you start.

Nico (smiling): I still owe you for the dentist (laughs).10

Fields: So, don’t you think it’s a good idea for you to play there? ’Cause everyone could come and see you who’s important. And maybe we could get things done. And then if you get good reviews, we could stick ’em back to Warner Brothers, then they’ll really get excited and do something. ’Cause they always like to have a working artist. I always figure if they’re gonna invest money, it’s best to invest in somebody who’s working. Because that’s the only way you really sell records, is to have someone working – you know that.

Nico (possibly having not listened to what Fields said): What? What?

Fields: That you have to go around and appear places to sell records.

Nico (animated): Yes, I know. Absolutely.

Fields: So, if Warner Brothers knows you’re working, then maybe they’ll put something behind your record.

Nico (quietly): Yes.

Fields: It’s just a good idea to start soon … I think it’ll be good. I’m sorry if I didn’t sound encouraging the other night. I didn’t mean to …

Nico (quietly): No, I thought it was me. (Fields disagrees in background.) I thought it was me, because I’ve been drinking tequila.

Fields: I drink tequila too. I’m drinking Southern Comfort lately.

Nico: Which?

Fields: Southern Comfort.

Nico: What’s that?

Fields: It’s bourbon and peach brandy.

Nico (upbeat): Ooh, bourbon!

Fields: It’s very sweet and strong. Janis [Joplin] used to drink it all the time.

Fields drawing any comparison between the two singers, how­ever benign, is still chilling. Though Nico’s ambitions are obvious – wanting to play Carnegie Hall – so is her growing desperation. This is only exacerbated by the fact that her gigs at the Gaslight never happened and a lack of any sort of management or booking agent to represent her. Shortly before the shows were to take place, Nico had to leave the country.

*

Even the ever-supportive Fields has ‘despaired’ at one particular Nico anecdote. Eyewitnesses still cannot agree on what actually occurred, with multiple versions and details added, edited or sub­tracted, depending on who is (re)telling the story. The known facts: sometime in 1971, Nico was sitting in El Quixote, the Spanish restaurant attached to the Chelsea Hotel. A young black woman, Emmaretta Marks, was sitting adjacent to the German singer with another group of people. Marks was a favourite of Jimi Hendrix and had a starring role in the musical Hair. She was talking within earshot of Nico about racial inequality and the challenges that she faced. In Nico’s mind, almost any kind of suffering would have paled by comparison to what she saw and experienced during her early years in Nazi Germany, and Marks’s comments were appar­ently too much for her. From here, however, the account of what happened in the restaurant is inconsistent.

In one version of the tale, John Cale recounts, ‘The woman [Marks] was apparently saying, “How I’ve suffered! How I’ve suf­fered!” Nico didn’t have time for Yanks who claimed to have a raw deal. Nico shouted back, “Suffering? You don’t know what suffer­ing is!” Then – wham! – she threw a glass of beer at the dyke. I can’t remember whether Nico told me she intended only to throw the drink and not the glass … but anyway, she threw the glass with the drink in it and the glass smashed against the woman’s head and cut her face open. The woman needed something like twenty stitches in her face. I can believe it happened. Nico had paid more dues than this woman, but she never spoke about it. That’s what annoyed her. It kind of broke the dam.’ In another interview, Paul Morrissey dismisses race as being the catalyst for the attack, saying, ‘She was black, she was white – who cares, frankly? The only fact you can glean from it is that Nico smashed this glass in the girl’s face. Because of it, Nico said she had a contract out on her from the Black Panthers. Sure …!’

Joe Boyd heard a different version while working on a project about Jimi Hendrix. In his account, it is Nico’s insecurity, not Marks’s race, that caused the altercation. ‘We interviewed a lot of girls who had been involved with Jimi. There was this decadent scene in New York, and a lot of it centred around the Chelsea Hotel – not the Warhol side of the Chelsea, but in the restaur ant [El Quixote] next door. We were talking to two girls, and they talked about another girl [Emmaretta Marks] who had been involved with Jimi or had been around in that scene. This girl [Marks] was really cute, funny and lively. She was the male centre of attention – the men couldn’t get their eyes off her. She was sitting opposite Nico at this booth/table. According to these girls, at a certain point Nico couldn’t take it any more and picked up a beer bottle. She smashed it on this girl’s head and cut her badly. According to them, this girl went to the hospital and filed a complaint with the police, but I don’t think Nico got arrested. They said that Emmaretta’s brother had some friends that basically sent a message to Nico saying, “You’re not welcome in New York any more.” That’s why she left New York and never came back.’ Vincent Fremont also remembered the event, saying, ‘One night she came home with Joe Dallesandro.11 She’d cut somebody’s face in a bar with a glass. We had to whisk her away. Joe took her to the airport and got her out of the country as quickly as possible.’

An interview with Fields in the Guardian featured a similar ver­sion of events. ‘Nico was, I dunno, feeling neglected, or drunk, but suddenly she said, “I hate black people,” and smashed a wineglass on the table and stuck it in the girl’s eye. There was lots of blood and screaming. Fortunately she just twisted it around her eye socket, so the glass never reached [the eye] but it’s not like she was being cau­tious … She had to get out of town. She was away for a while. This crossed the line. I’m being driven beyond reaching towards some­one you love. There’s some point where you have to say, “I love you, but I cannot get close anymore.”’ In another conversation with Fields, he clarified things further, saying that such racial remarks were usually just Nico being ironic or poking fun, and the com­ment itself had been taken out of context. It may have been meant as tongue-in-cheek because she was frustrated and annoyed, rather than it being a confession that she actually ‘hated black people … The time with the broken wineglass, she flew off the handle, as it were, and [it was] obviously an extremely unusual thing for her, i.e. to be violent in any way. Something snapped that evening,’ says Fields. The ramifications of the violence witnessed by Nico in the early part of her life cannot be forgotten, he argues, stating, ‘When you come from Germany in the war, there is a lot that you’re not sure about. You grow up being bombed – this was her childhood.’ Fields is the first to highlight the importance of context, saying that to refer to Nico simply as racist is ‘insufficient, and kind of comical. She loved Leonard Cohen and she loved Lou Reed, she loved Bob Dylan – she loved all these Jewish guys … She didn’t belong to anything. It was news to me that she even registered what colour people were; she seemed above that. It was a pose, an act.’ In another piece, he goes further, saying, ‘She was so far from being a Nazi.’

There have never been definitive answers as to why Nico attacked Marks, what kind of injury was inflicted with the glass, if the Black Panthers were involved or if Marks had any affiliation with them. Based upon her temperament and the circumstances, the most likely explanation is that the outburst was the result of a combin­ation of Nico being frustrated and various intoxicants. What is cer­tain is that Nico believed it was unsafe for her to return to New York for many years after the incident. The repercussions stayed with her long after it happened. ‘I remember one afternoon we decided to have a hamburger at Max’s,’ said Iggy Pop. ‘Just ourselves in the front, no scene or anything. That afternoon, the subject kept com­ing up that there had been a controversial physical altercation with another woman. All I remember is that her reply to me was just very matter-of-fact. She had a very deadpan way of expressing herself. It wasn’t comic at all or odd, but she basically said, “Bitch had it coming.” The concept, although she put it in a different way, was [does impression of Nico] “She was not nice,” or something like that.’

In a 1975 interview, Nico admitted that it was in ‘a fit of mad­ness’ that she ‘cut the face of a young girl, a black panther’,12 going on to claim that ‘The police were looking for me and the black panthers, so I couldn’t go back.’ She also revealed that the attack was ‘not provoked’ and that she had ‘just lost [her] mind’ during the episode. When asked if she had ever done anything to make up for it, Nico responded, ‘I mentioned it in one song. I mean, they are listening to my music all the time anyhow, so they will have understood it.’ In a 1985 Melody Maker piece, she again admits to being inebriated when the incident occurred.13 When asked about her thoughts on the Black Panthers, she answers, ‘I’m a little afraid of them, because I once hurt a girl’s face and she was a member of The Black Panthers. I was high on angel dust and had been drink­ing, not much, and I hit this girl’s eye with a glass, and she had 17 stitches, and they were looking for me. I was hiding in New Jersey, and then I had to leave the country.’ Nico concludes the piece by saying, ‘It was an accident, it wasn’t intentional.’ She retreated back to Philippe Garrel’s dismal flat in Paris, once again seeking refuge from herself in Europe.

*

On the morning of 3 July 1971, Nico saw Jim Morrison for the first time in several years. Morrison had relocated to Paris with his girlfriend Pamela Courson, in an attempt to escape fame and celebrity, while concentrating on his poetry. His once slim physique had become bloated by alcohol, a full beard obscuring the globally famous chiselled cheekbones. Nico, meanwhile, now exiled to the French capital, was living in squalor with Garrel. She had no idea she was in the same city as her former paramour until she caught a glimpse of him in a black car driving past her as she walked down the Avenue de l’Opéra. Though she attempted to wave him down, Morrison didn’t see her. Later that evening, he was declared dead after suffering heart failure. It was exactly two years to the day since Brian Jones had died.

In a letter to Danny Fields, postmarked 16 July, Nico reports hav­ing been to Morrison’s grave. Her disgust at the lack of visit­ors and decoration at his resting place is palpable as she remarks, ‘Jim’s grave did not resemble that of a hero, I had been the only person to visit & it struck me very hard.’ Indeed, for his first several years in the legendary Père Lachaise Cemetery, the final resting place of other legendary figures such as Oscar Wilde and Edith Piaf, Morrison’s body lay in an unmarked grave.14 Nico also voices concern for the repercussions of the incident with Marks and clearly wants to return from her exile in Paris to New York:

Can you give me some information about the Girl Emeretta, please. Will I be able to return soon. Though I do not desire anything now and I hope that there won’t be much to take … Can you give me an answer.

Love & kisses Nico