Chapter 21: AVERIE - A Street King's Widow

“Yes,” I moaned. “Right there, Q.”

Q gripped my hips tight as he thrust into me, making my ass shake like an earthquake. For weeks now, I let my guard down and from that day on, Q had been satisfying me sexually and mentally. With all the funds that Rah had left me, I hired a nanny and started living my life. For years, all I did was work and take care of my kids. Q came along and brought some light. Now, did I feel guilty for completely cutting off the King family? Sometimes. They were calling and popping up, but my nanny was given instructions not to answer my damn door. Shameek would FaceTime the kids and that was the most he would get. I figured removing myself would help me get to know Q better. The shit worked. I didn’t wake up every day with Rah on my damn mind. What I did know was whenever I did run into any of the Kings, it wasn’t going to be a pretty situation. All that bending for them was over. Besides my kids, my connection to them was over. It was starting to feel great.

Q slapped my ass and went straight into the bathroom as I laid stretched out in his bed trying to catch my breath. That man had worn my ass out and still had enough energy to walk around like he hadn't put in a full damn shift. I pulled the sheet over me and reached for my phone. There were six missed calls. Kyenna had called me and Ms. Lorraine. Kyenna had called at least once a week trying to get the kids. Her ass was cut off, too. She was a King. It was the missed calls from my son that made me sit up. I dialed him back immediately.

“Hey baby. What happened? I saw you called me a few times.”

“I was just asking what time you were coming home. Ms. Nia said you told her you might be late, but you didn’t tell us that.”

His tone had changed so much over the last few weeks that I could feel the attitude even when he was trying to hide it. Kaiden had gotten quieter with me. Every question sounded like he was one answer away from telling me how he really damn felt.

“I’ll be home in a little bit. I didn’t realize it had gotten this late. Did you eat?”

“Yeah, Ms. Nia cooked.”

“Okay, I love you. I’ll see you when I get home.”

“I love you, too,” he said, hanging up.

Kaiden wasn’t rude, but I knew my child. Something was bothering him, and I knew exactly what it was. Q walked back in the room wearing nothing but a pair of sweats.

“You good?” he asked.

“My son called. I need to be heading home.”

Q nodded as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“You been saying little man been acting different. You ever ask him what’s on his mind?”

“I haven’t had the time to sit down and really talk to him. Between work, football, and everything else, it’s been a lot.”

He looked at me for a second before speaking, and one thing I learned about Q, he didn’t rush his words when he gave advice.

“I’m not telling you how to raise your son, Averie, because I know better than that. But twelve is old enough to notice when shit changes. You got a nanny now, you’re spending more time out, and from what you told me, he used to spend time with his daddy’s side of the family. If all that changed around the same time, he might be connecting the changes to me.”

“I needed some distance from them. Every time somebody from the King family called, it was Rah this, Rah that. I was trying to move on with my damn life, and I couldn’t do that with them constantly pulling me back into that family dynamic.”

“I understand why you needed distance. I’m asking if the kids needed the same distance.”

“They’re my kids, Q.”

“I know they are your kids. That’s why I started the conversation with I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just asking questions.”

I got out of bed and grabbed my clothes from the chair.

“Kaiden still talks to Shameek. I’m just not interested in being a part of their family dynamic anymore. I’m allowed to build my own life.”

“You absolutely are. Just make sure the kids aren’t paying the price for you wanting out.”

I got quiet. I hated when somebody told me something I already knew. That was the exact reason I had been avoiding a real conversation with Kaiden. Q walked me to the door and kissed my forehead before opening it.

“Go talk to your son before he stops talking to you altogether.”

“Good night,” I told him.

“Text me when you make it home.”

The entire ride home I thought about what he said. I didn’t regret distancing myself from the Kings. One weekend the kids were over at the compound doing whatever they wanted. The next, I had hired a nanny and started telling everybody we were busy. At the time, it felt like boundaries. Now I wasn’t sure if it looked like punishment. When I walked through the door, the house was quiet. Nia was sitting in the living room watching television with the volume low.

“Hey. How did it go?”

“Everything was fine. Khari went to bed around nine. Kaiden just left the kitchen getting some water. He’s been a little moody today.”

“I figured. You can head home. I got it from here.”

She gathered her things while I took my heels off near the stairs. Once she left, I went upstairs and stopped outside of Kaiden’s bedroom. His light was still on underneath the door. I knocked twice before pushing the door open. He was sitting against the headboard with his laptop open and headphones around his neck.

“You got a minute to talk with your mama?”

“Yes,” he said, closing his laptop.

“You’ve been acting different with me lately. I figured you would come to me when you were ready, but I don’t like the way things feel between us. If I did something to make you mad, I need you to tell me instead of walking around here holding it in.”

“I don’t understand why we can’t go to the compound and be with daddy’s side of the family.”

“You can see them.”

“No, Mama. We’re only allowed FaceTime calls. That’s not the same. Uncle Meek asked me if I wanted to go to a game with him, and you said I was busy. I wasn’t busy. I was just sitting there. Khari asked if she could go see Kyenna and get her nails done. You told her no. Grandma came over, and Ms. Nia wouldn’t answer the door.”

My throat became dry as he was naming off the shit I’d done.

“Those were decisions I made because I needed some time and space from everything. It wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you or your sister.”

“You needed distance. We didn’t.”

“Listen to me.” I grabbed his hand. “I would never intentionally take your family away from you. I was so caught up in trying to figure out how to have a life outside of your daddy, that I didn’t stop to think about what it would do to y’all. That was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

“Is it because of your boyfriend?”

“Partly.”

“Then I don’t like him.”

“Hold on. He never told me to stop dealing with your family. Actually, it was him who told me the exact opposite.”

“You spend all your time with him.”

“I have been spending a lot of time with him. I like him, Kaiden. I’m allowed to have something outside of being your mama and going to work. That doesn’t mean you and Khari are less important.”

“That’s how it feels, though.”

“Then I’ll fix it. And I’ll call your uncle tomorrow and work something out. Is that okay?”

Kaiden leaned over and hugged me. The tears I had been holding back came falling down.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay.”

I had to stop acting like choosing a new life meant I had to destroy the old one. After talking to Kaiden, I walked in my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed before pulling my phone out and dialing Shameek’s number.

“Averie, before you start wit’ whatever shit you been on lately, let me say this. I have respected the fact that they yo’ kids, but you not finna keep my nephew and niece away from us ‘cause you woke up one day and decided you wanted to fuck on another nigga.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Of course, Shameek was going to call me on my shit.

“I’m not calling to argue. I actually do agree with you,” I said.

“Come again.”

“I said I was wrong, Shameek. The cold turkey cut off was uncalled for. I needed some space, but I shouldn’t have taken the kids from y’all. Kaiden wants to spend a few days with his grandparents and I’m sure Khari is going to pack her whole damn room the second I tell her.”

“I can pick them up tomorrow after school. And before you ask, yeah, they probably gone see everybody. My mama already been asking for them, Jaharee misses them, Pops acting like he don’t care, but we kno’ his ass do. And Kyenna–.”

“I know,” I interrupted. “She misses Khari, and Khari misses her, too. If the kids want to see her, let them.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Good night, Shameek.”

“Night,” he said, hanging up.