Chapter 22: SHAMEEK - A Street King's Widow

Spending the last few days with my nieces and nephew was what I needed. They spent three days with us and the whole time Kyenna was avoiding me. I got that she didn’t want to make things weird while the kids were on the compound. Hell, she took Khari and Ryleigh and hauled ass for a whole day. Then dropped Khari off at my parents’, and her and Ryleigh went to her place. She didn’t say shit else for a whole day. I left the shit alone. I dropped the kids off at home and had now been at Nikki’s house for the last two hours. My mind was so clouded that I couldn’t tell you what the fuck she had said since I’d been here.

Normally, when I came over here, especially after we had been going through one of our rough patches, I made an effort to actually be present. Nikki could tell when my head was somewhere else. She knew my facial expressions and the way I got quiet. After dealing with me for years, she had learned most of my habits. Tonight, I was trying my best not to give her another one to study. She had cooked, poured us one of her fruity ass drinks, and put on a movie she swore I needed to watch. I was stretched across the sofa with my arm around her while she leaned on me, but my mind was going back to Kyenna.

The sound of her moaning my name had been stuck in my head since that night. I could be checking numbers at the warehouse and suddenly remember the way her legs shook. The way her skin felt in my hands and the perfume would come back to me out of nowhere. Soft as hell. Sweet without smelling childish with a touch of musk underneath, stayed on my clothes until I dropped that suit off to the cleaners. I didn’t even rush and brush my teeth that night because I just wanted to sniff my beard. That’s how I knew I had a problem. Nikki shifted beside me and looked up.

“You haven’t laughed once, and this is supposed to be funny,” she said.

I looked towards the television like I had been watching it the whole time.

“I’m payin’ attention.”

“No, you’re sitting here and you’re spaced out.”

I rubbed my hand down her arm to reassure her.

“I got a lot on my mind, baby. I’m still here wit’ you, though. I could’ve stayed home or went to handle business, but I wanted to come see you.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about, Shameek. You always being with me sounds like you squeezed me in between everything else you would rather be doing.”

I sighed because I could tell where this shit was headed.

“Nikki, I didn’t say that. Don’t twist my words because you’re already irritated. I said I have shit on my mind and still wanted to spend time wit’ you. That should mean somethin’.”

“It used to.”

Nikki pulled herself away from me and sat on the other end of the sofa.

“You know what I’ve realized? I spend more time trying to get your attention than actually having it. You’ll buy me something, come over, and we fuck. You lay around for a day or two and then the second your phone goes off, or your family needs something, I disappear.”

“You know that’s not fair,” I told her.

“Oh, it’s fair. You just don’t want to hear it.”

I sat up and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.

“I’m not finna sit here and act like I don’t have responsibilities ‘cause you want more time. My family is dealin’ wit’ shit. My business just took a hit and I’m still trying to figure out who killed my brother. You knew I wasn’t some nine-to-five nigga when you met me.”

“Your family looked fine to me the other night.”

“So, you think some annual shit makes shit better.”

“You know, Shameek. Every time I say I need more time with you, you throw the family shit up in my face. Yes, I know how you make your money. I just thought eventually I would become important enough for you to slow down.”

She never saw how I adjusted for her. I had slowed down if you asked me. I had spent money to make shit right. Changed plans for her ass and stayed over when I had things to handle. It’s been times I let calls go unanswered just to keep the peace.

“I don’t kno’ what the fuck else you want from me, Nikki. I’m not changin’ who I am to prove I love you. If you need a nigga that comes home every night at six, eats dinner at the table, and spends weekends planted on the fuckin’ sofa, I’m not him. And I’ll never pretend to be.”

She stared at me for a long time before looking away.

“I’m not asking you to become somebody else. I’m asking you to stop making me feel like I’m always waiting for my turn.”

I knew what she meant, but my mind was betraying me, and I wasn’t into the conversation anymore. Kyenna was on my mind again. The way she looked at me after, like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to slap me or pull me back between her legs. My phone was sitting on the coffee table, and I was fighting the urge to grab it all evening. All I wanted to do was send one text to see where her head was since she had been avoiding me. Nikki followed my eyes.

“You waiting on somebody to call or something?”

“What?”

“You keep looking at your phone like you’re expecting something.”

“I always look at my phone. That shit could be business.”

“Could be,” she said with an attitude.

“Fuck that mean?”

“It means exactly what I said. You’re distracted. I’m not stupid enough to sit here pretending I don’t notice when a man I’ve been dealing with for years is physically beside me and mentally somewhere else.”

I stood up. “See, this is what I wasn’t tryin’ to do tonight. I came over here to spend time wit’ you and now we arguin’ ‘cause I’m not performin’ enough happiness for you.”

Nikki stood up, too.

“You’re looking for an excuse to leave.”

“I’d rather leave than say somethin’ out of anger that I can’t take back.”

Nikki laughed. “Go ahead.”

I stood there for a second. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Do whatever you want.”

I walked out before the argument could grow another head. The second I got in my truck, my hand went straight to my phone. Kyenna’s name was right there.

“Man, fuck this.” I threw the phone in the cup holder and headed home.

I needed to go home, smoke something, and get my head straight. Nikki had a valid point, and I was moving funny since I started sneaking around with Kyenna. Every time we were alone, we crossed the line a little more each time. It was probably best we stayed away from each other. Kyenna was more than likely thinking the feelings between us would die down if we avoided each other. That was easier said than done. My mind was on her the whole ride home until I pulled in the main gate and got close to my parents’ house and saw her and my mama outside talking. What I should’ve done was ride by. Instead, I pulled my ass up the long driveway. As soon as she saw my car, her smile disappeared. I didn’t know what the fuck that was about.

“Everything cool?” I asked them, stepping out the truck.

“We’re fine. Kyenna just stopped by for a little while. Where you coming from?” My mama asked.

“Nikki’s,” I said, making eye contact with Kyenna.

“Everything cool with y’all?” My mama asked.

“We cool.”

“Goodnight, Ma. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay, baby.” She hugged her.

My mama walked back towards the house, and neither Kyenna nor I said another word until the front door closed behind her. Then Kyenna turned towards me.

“This is not the place.”

I backed up and threw my hands up. Her tone let me know she was pissed about something.

“You mad ‘bout some shit or somethin’? It feels like you got an attitude.”

“I said not here. Your mama probably looking out the damn window.”

“Aight, then where?”

“Not my place.”

“Come to mine,” I told her.

“Oh, hell no. I am not coming to your place.”

“You scared?” I asked, smiling.

“You just left Nikki’s house. There is nothing to be scared of. I’m sure you handled your business over there.”

“That’s what you got from that? Come over so we can talk.”

“I can’t. It will be too obvious.”

“I’ll come scoop you up in the golf cart in an hour. By then, my mama will be on her second glass of wine and in the bed.”

“This shit is crazy.”

Kyenna didn’t agree, but I knew she would come when I pulled up. We grabbed her door handle at the same time.

“Move yo’ hand,” I warned her, and she instantly moved it. I opened the car door and let her climb in. “I’ll see you in an hour. Don’t have me out there waitin’ either. We both kno’ I’ll come in.”

An hour exactly, I was pulling up to Kyenna’s front door in a pair of grey jogging pants and a tank top. I sent her a text, and she popped out the door in a pair of jeans and a shirt. I laughed inside because she really went out of her way to change into some fucking jeans like them bitches couldn’t come off.

“Do not drive fast on this thing,” she said.

I hit the gas, making her head jerk just for the fuck of it. I made sure to stop at her security guard and give that nigga some cash. It was important to keep their pockets laid because they knew what the fuck was going on, and I needed them to keep the shit quiet. I parked the golf cart in the garage and closed the door. I opened the door and let her go in first. The last time she was here, she had stopped by with Rah, and that was over two years ago.

“I had lunch with Jaharee a few days ago,” she said before I could ask her ass if she was thirsty.

“And? Y’all do that shit all the time.”

“She noticed you watching me and Lloyd at the event. She also noticed the two of us disappeared around the same time. Thankfully, she assumed you pulled me aside because you were being overbearing about Lloyd again, and I let her believe it.”

“She say anything else?”

“No, but that isn’t even the part that has me pissed.”

“Speak on it,” I told her, leaning against the wall. We hadn't even made it all the way in the damn house.

“She told me Nikki was looking for you while we were gone. Then she told me when you finally came back in the ballroom, you were holding hands with Nikki,” she said, crossing her arms.

“This what you mad ‘bout?” I laughed. “Man, I’m thinkin’ you trippin’ on some shit I did that was bad.”

“Oh, so I’m being dramatic? You the same nigga that be acting a damn fool when Lloyd in my face. You pulled my ass in a private room and kissed me. Then you take your ass back in that ballroom with that girl like y’all the happiest damn couple.”

“Ky–”

She stopped me.

“Then you bring your ass to my house, that I shared with your brother like a fucking possessed person, because I won’t let you in. You force your way in and then eat my pussy like it was the best thing you ever had. You see my issue with you ?”

All I could do was stare at her because I often wondered if this was the feistiness that my brother loved so much. He always talked about how Kyenna would check his ass at any moment.

“I didn’t go back in that ballroom pretending shit. She caught a glimpse of yo’ ass leavin’, and I had to distract her fuckin’ ass before it became somethin’ more.”

“You can’t demand honesty from me, and Lloyd and you move however you want. You were just at the girl’s house, and yet here you are in my damn face. You admitted that you’re bothered when Lloyd is around me. Meanwhile, you have a woman calling you, fucking you, telling you she loves you, and you telling her you love her back.”

“I do love Nikki.”

Kyenna shook her head and laughed. “Then why the fuck are you hounding me, Meek? When I can go do me with Lloyd.”

“Kyenna, you tryin’ to piss me the fuck off?”

She shrugged, and it was something about that that made me back her ass into a wall.

“If you love a woman, this is not what you do to her. Or is that what you tell her to get her off your back?”

I didn’t answer fast enough.

“That’s all I needed to know.” She pushed me to put some space in between us.

“Nah, don’t do that. I been wit’ Nikki for years, so the love is there. That doesn’t mean that what’s happenin’ wit’ us ain’t real.”

“I’m not interested in being the other woman, Meek. I’m muthafuckin’ Kyenna King. The fuck I look like being your side bitch. I know how it feels to be sitting at home while a man you love is somewhere doing something he has no business doing. I will never knowingly put another woman in that position. I don’t give a fuck how attracted I am to you.”

When I heard her say she was attracted to me, it shifted something in me. We both knew something was there, but to hear her say it was different. I moved closer to her.

“Say that last part for me again.”

“This is exactly why talking to you is pointless. I’m trying to tell you why this can’t continue, and your ass heard one part you liked.”

“I heard every muthafuckin’ word you said. I’m askin’ you to stop actin’ like I’m imaginin’ the shit between us. You want me, too.”

“Yes, I do,” she said.

I didn’t have anything to throw back to her. We would usually go back and forth with shots at each other, but there was nothing left to say. We both were clear on what we wanted. The shit wasn’t going to be easy.

“I ain’t tryin’ to make you my side bitch,” I told her.

“Then what are you trying to make me, Meek?”

Still didn’t have a clear answer. We hadn't gotten that far to put a name on the shit. All I knew was I wanted her.

“I don’t kno’ what the fuck this is yet. That’s the truth. I ain’t planned on lookin’ at you different, Kyenna. I damn sure ain’t planned on endin’ up in yo’ bedroom, but the shit happened, and now I’m trying to figure out why I spent all night at Nikki’s thinkin’ ‘bout you. I kno’ the shit ain’t right and I’m not pretendin’ it is.”

“I came here to tell you that we can’t do this,” she said.

“Then tell me.” I kissed her lips, and she moved her head.

“I just did.”

“Look up at me and say it. Tell me you don’t want me touchin’ you again.”

She looked at me. “I don’t want you touching me anymore.”

“Yet you haven’t moved. You like this shit just as much as me.” I kissed her again.

“It’s hard to move when you got me pinned to a wall, Meek. So, move, and I’ll walk home.”

I didn’t move. Kyenna looked at my chest and back up at me. She placed her hands against my chest and thought she was going to just push me away. I grabbed her wrist and placed her hands above her head and kissed her ass before she could fuss. Every bit of frustration we had thrown at each other ended up in that kiss. Whatever argument we were having died right there. I didn’t think we would make it upstairs, so I picked her ass up and took her to the den and slicked her ass right out them tight ass jeans she called herself putting on. I licked my lips because I was able to see her pretty pussy in full this time.

“This muthafucka so pretty. All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout is you. I don’t kno’ where this shit gon’ go, but I’ll never do anything to fuck this up.”

She opened her mouth to say something. Knowing her, she was about to say what she couldn’t do, so I ate her pussy to shut her up. As she was shaking, I pulled my sweats down and slapped my hard dick on her glistening wet pussy before slowly sliding that bitch in her tight ass pussy. In my head, I knew I had taken this shit too far with her. We were too far gone this time. Kyenna scratched my back and moaned my name. The sound of her voice and her wetness would make any man lose their damn mind. Nikki was completely gone out of my mind. As I stroked her, I just kept telling myself that I was going to kill Lloyd the next time he got close to her. And when I nutted in her, I knew for sure I was going to lose my shit if she even looked at another nigga the way she was looking at me right now.

We both stayed in position for a minute until Kyenna pushed me to let her up. I could tell the guilt had left her because she wasn’t panicking like before. She grabbed her jeans and shirt.

“Where you goin’?”

“I’m going home, Meek.”

“You can’t stay?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to stay. You got what you wanted and so did I.”

“Damn, you brushin’ me off like my shit was trash.”

“No, it was great.”

“Fuck are you rushin’ off for then?”

“I’m not doing this while you run back and forth with Nikki like nothing is happening.”

“Man, I’ll handle that.”

“And if you come around me acting jealous over Lloyd while you’re still with her, I’m going to embarrass the fuck out of you.”

“Man, fuck all that. Come here.

I snatched her ass up and took her upstairs and fucked the shit out of her, making sure her ass was going to be left with marks on her skin and a tender pussy.