Chapter 39: Stephen - Reckless Love

I’m living my life balanced on a tightrope. If I fall, on either side lies danger.

To the left is Celia and whatever she accumulated on me during the years I worked for her. In some ways, that’s the safer option, the one I’m better equipped to deal with. She may have something substantial on me, but I can guarantee I have something equally damning on her. All those files, cases, and reports didn’t write themselves, and I kept careful, detailed notes, some secret, some right on the department server under code names and dummy case numbers.

To the right is what happens when Raul wakes up, and it’s the side that scares me more. He’s volatile. Even when he’ll wake up is unpredictable. On the phone the other day, I overheard Ava talking to the hospital. Raul isn’t awake, but his latest tests suggest he could be conscious soon. Then who knows if he’ll be the same man? So much uncertainty. The only thing I do know is that he may not be able to force Ava to stay in the marriage, but he can make her withdrawal as painful and lengthy as possible. If he hurts her, I’ll want to kill him, and that’s no good for any of us. Could be really, really bad, actually.

“What are you thinking about?” Ava asks from the passenger seat beside me. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Always running scenarios,” I say, easing my palm along her skirt-clad leg and resting it on her bare knee.

“For work?” Ava asks.

“Are we almost there?” Landon asks from the back seat.

“Not long now, buddy,” I say, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.

We’re going to visit my parents, and as much as it’s dangerous to pretend Ava and Landon are mine, I can’t seem to help myself. I’m manifesting this reality in probably the unhealthiest way. Take them to visit my parents. Fake a family until we become a family.

At the care home, I lead them through the maze of rooms to where my parents are located. Ava’s hand is in mine, and I briefly wonder about dropping it. There’s pretending in my mind and then there’s making it very public across Bellerive. Affair is written all over our joined hands. I wish I cared more.

As usual, my parents are on the terrace with the friends they’ve made. They’re playing a game of Monopoly, and Landon tugs on my pocket when we get close.

“Will I be able to play?” he whispers.

“Doubtful,” I say. “From those money piles, I’d say they’ve been playing a while.”

“Oh,” my mother exclaims. “It’s my favorite son.”

“I’m your only son,” I say, leaning down to kiss my mother and never letting go of Ava’s hand. Part of me never wants to let any part of her go ever again.

I catch my father eyeing our joined hands, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he pats his knee. “Landon, I could use some help. I have all this money, and I’m not sure how to spend it.”

“I’m too far behind,” my mother declares, pushing back from the table. “I’ll forfeit my finish for a chance to visit with my son and his…” She glances at our joined hands. “Very close friend.”

Taking her walker, she leads Ava and me back into the care home and into their room. There are two recliners in the room now, and my mother gestures to them for us to sit.

“Where’d these come from?” I ask, nestling in.

“Vanessa ordered them and had them delivered. Space is tight, but Vanessa found these gems on some website. Your dad and I didn’t want to be stuck lying in bed whenever we were in our room. Plus it’s nice when we have visitors. Somewhere more comfortable to sit.”

“I could have done that,” I say.

“You’ve had a lot on your plate with taking over at the security company and then Ava and Landon’s injuries. Besides, Vanessa isn’t working right now.”

“She’s not?”

“Got let go from The Nile after the negotiation. Guess they found out what she’d been up to. I thought it was illegal to fire someone for forming a union. Then that parking garage she’d been working on while they were on strike wouldn’t take her back. When I questioned Vanessa, she told me not to worry, that she’d find something.” My mother examines our hands again. “Forgive an old lady,” she says to Ava, “but I thought you were married?”

“We’re getting a divorce,” Ava says with surprising firmness. “Once Raul is recovered, it’ll be public knowledge.”

“I’d just be careful about making this too public before that,” she says, waggling her finger between the two of us. “Bellerive society can be thorny with its disapproval. With you trying to get a lot of them as clients, Stephen, you’d best be careful.” Then she looks at me, scanning my face. “But I can see how happy you are, and I haven’t seen you this… sure of yourself in a long time. Maybe that’s all that matters.”

Ava squeezes my hand, and then she reaches over to sandwich my hand with both of her own. “I really love your son, Mrs. Foster. Truly. You and Walter raised an incredibly good man who loves with his whole heart. And we’re finally in a place where we can give that love and receive it in a healthier way than we could before.”

Ava’s declaration causes a light, bubbly feeling to overtake my body. Her certainty is so solid and steady, which is something I’ve never experienced with her before. We were always falling apart and coming back together, an endless loop.

This time, our relationship is different. We’re different. It was one thing for her to admit her feelings in private, but for her to state them with such confidence to my mother is something I never knew I needed. But I did need her to acknowledge that what we’re doing isn’t just for now, that there’s a future here. That maybe this time, we won’t fall apart at the first obstacle.

“Is Ava Tucker the reason no one else ever worked out?” my mother asks.

“She is,” I confirm. “For me, she’s been the one right from the start.”

“Oh,” she says, and that single word trembles with emotion. “I love that for you both. Even if the road isn’t smooth. Now, we just need Vanessa to find her person. Or any person, really.” She lets out a little laugh. “That girl hasn’t had much of a life since she dropped out of university to look after your dad and me.”

I frown, even though I know it’s true, have often felt guilty about everything Vanessa gave up when I was too far away to be much use.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I drag it out to see it’s Owen. “I need to take this.” I rise and wander a little ways from them in the room before answering. Ava and my mother’s soft voices are in the background when I say, “Hello?”

“I need you at my house as soon as you can.”

“New client?”

“No,” he says. “It’s personal. Get here when you can.”

I hang up and stare at my phone for a beat, wondering if it’s his personal favor or something to do with me.

“I’ll need to take you and Landon home,” I say. “Owen needs me at the office.”

Ava hugs my mom, and we collect Landon from where my father’s pile of money has been substantially diminished. I’m not convinced Landon was much help, but he can’t stop talking about how great my dad is all the way back to my house. My heart swells at the realization that someday soon, I’ll be able to tell him and my parents that they’re related. That this really great old man who lets him sit on his lap and play games is actually his grandfather.

God. My parents are going to be thrilled.

In the driveway, Landon rushes toward the house, which gives me a chance to give Ava a quick kiss. Holding her hand is one thing, but we keep the other PDA to when it’s just us.

Nothing is for sure yet, even if it feels sure in my heart.

“Will you be late?” Ava asks.

“I don’t know,” I say. “Owen didn’t tell me what this is about.”

* * *

When Owen answers his door, his expression is grim.

“Your personal emergency or mine?” I ask, stepping past him into the front foyer. His best friend, Ren, is a train wreck. Owen spends as much time bailing out his friend as he does running his company. I’ve started to question—not out loud, I wouldn’t dare—whether he gets Ren out of trouble for Ren, or if he does it for Ren’s wife, Rebecca. Whenever I’ve been around them, I’ve seen the way he looks at her when he thinks no one will notice.

“This is your life, I’m afraid,” he says, leading me back to his home office. “More specifically, your family.”

Shit. Vanessa. That’s the only thing that makes sense.

Owen slides into his leather chair and gestures for me to take a seat across from him. “Vanessa?” I guess.

“Indeed. I’m not quite sure how to break this to you.”

“I just found out from my mother that she’s been fired from The Nile. It’s more than that?”

“I just came from the police station. I was there on another matter, and one of my contacts called me into her office. She told me they’ve got evidence that points to Vanessa being an accessory to murder. From what the police have put together, your sister knew their union organization was planning a car accident. Your sister may not have known when or where it would happen, but she knew it was in the mix. They have clear documentation.”

My throat tightens at the realization. “She knew Landon and Ava would be targeted too?”

“I don’t know.” Owen releases a deep sigh. “You know your sister better than me. Would she agree to that kind of risk just to get to Raul?”

No. Maybe. God, I don’t know anymore. “It was a stupid plan.”

“Very,” Owen agrees. “But desperate people do desperate things.”

“It’s unforgiveable.” My disbelief is slowly being replaced with anger. “She lied to me about her involvement. She lied to my face.”

“I don’t know when they’re laying charges and bringing people in. If you’ve still got contacts with the force, you may want to apply some pressure. Up to you, obviously. I’ll stand behind whatever you decide. You’re in a tough spot.”

Part of me thinks, fuck it, she can rot in jail, but another part of me can’t let go of my little sister that easily. If she hadn’t lied to me, this truth would be slightly easier to swallow. Maybe not easier, but at least I’d have felt like she was prepared to own up to her mistake. We could have talked it out. I could have helped her come up with a plan. Hell, I could have helped her cover up her involvement if it came to that.

Instead, she lied. Refused to take responsibility for her irresponsible actions.

“I don’t know what I’ll do,” I admit. “I’ll be in touch.” I heave myself out of the chair, and I storm through his house back to my vehicle.

The first thing I need to do is confront Vanessa. Whatever she says will determine her fate.

* * *

I drove Ava and Landon to Sawyer and Logan’s mansion as soon as I got back to the house. Whatever goes down between me and Vanessa, I don’t want them within hearing range. Since Landon had been invited to some sort of Tucker cousin mini-sticks tournament, luck was in my favor. When Ava had asked why I wasn’t staying, why I seemed so tense, I’d had a hard time not spilling everything at her feet. Instead, I’d claimed a work complication and promised to get them by Landon’s bedtime.

In Vanessa’s apartment, I pack her things. Wherever she is, she’s going to come home to an empty apartment. Fucking lying to me. Putting the two most important people in the world in jeopardy. For what? Better work conditions? A bit more money? It’s such bullshit that it makes my chest fill with rage.

The lock tumbles on the door, but I don’t stop packing. Bags and boxes litter the floor. In her bedroom, there’s a suitcase on the bed where I’ve tossed her clothes. The fact that she has so little, that I’ve packed so much of her life so quickly, sends a little frisson of regret down my spine. But it’s not enough to push out my fury.

“What’s going on?” Vanessa asks, flicking on the bigger overhead light and taking in the boxes and bags scattered around the room. “Was there a break-in?”

I let out a huff, and I turn to face her. Something in my expression must tell her that I know. She goes pale.

“I can explain,” she says, holding up her hands.

“The time for explaining was when I asked if you had a part in the accident. That was the time to explain. Because I fucking warned you, Van. I warned you. If you had anything to do with the accident, and you didn’t come clean with me, I’d disown you.”

“Fuck you, Stephen. What difference would it have made? Disown me then or disown me now? We both know Ava Tucker has somehow become a hell of a lot more important than your own family. Which is really on brand for you, isn’t it? If it’s not work, it’s a woman.”

“Don’t make me sound like I’m some feckless playboy who can’t keep his dick in his pants. For fourteen years, it’s been the same woman. Just one. Her. That’s it. But you wouldn’t know what that’s like because you’ve never been in love with someone for fourteen years.”

“I’ve never been in love at all. When was I supposed to do that? In between working multiple jobs? Scheduling nursing visits for our parents? Nagging you to go to your therapy? You pile all this on me and then you criticize how I handle it.”

“Because you almost fucking killed them, Van. They almost died. Ava is my whole god-damned world, and Landon,” my voice catches, “he’s my son. You almost killed your nephew.”

“What?” Van sinks to the floor as though her legs gave out. “What?” She stares up at me. “How?”

“That doesn’t matter. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the last piece of my life you get to know anything about.”

“Stephen,” she says, her voice catching on a sob. “No.”

“If you’d been honest, I’d have been mad. But I’d have helped you. It didn’t need to come to this. You didn’t trust me, and now I don’t trust you. You put my family in danger.”

“I didn’t trust you?” she asks, her tone returning to steel. “You just told me I have a nephew, and it’s clear you’ve known for a while. I don’t know what’s happened to us, Stephen, but we’re a long way from okay.”

“I agree with that,” I say, straightening. She’s right to call me out, but it doesn’t dull my rage at her involvement in Ava and Landon’s accident.

“I have nowhere else to go. I don’t have a job right now.”

“You have a car, so you’ll have a roof over your head. But I can’t have someone who would be so careless with the people I love living under the same roof. I can’t trust you.”

“You’re not even going to let me explain?”

“I have one question. Just one. Did you know Landon and Ava would be in the car?”

“No!” Vanessa cries. “No. I swear. It was supposed to happen when we knew he was alone. Late at night. Coming home from work. Not—not after a charity event. I didn’t agree to any of that. You have my word.”

“I just wish your word still meant something.” I gesture to all her things scattered across the floor. “You need to be cleared out by the morning, or I’ll call to have everything removed. Your time in this house is done.”