Chapter 5: Proverbs 26:5 - The Cell Next Door

Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.

Around 4:30 p.m., we would let out to go to wreck or gym depending on the weather.  On this particular day, we were at the gym.  Everyone decided it would be unit 11 versus the GP workers who were exceptionally good at basketball.  However, Chris and I were a little better, so we got stuck with the misfits.  One misfit named Collins didn't even know which end of the court to shoot from.  The one shot he did make he scored from the wrong basket.  I kept using him as a pick as well.  It was hilarious.  We still won.  After the game, Chris, me, Collins, and some other guys were standing around talking.  “Collins, you are a virgin, so how do you even know that you are the way you are?  I ask him.  He was claiming to be transgender.  “I don't know, I haven't been with anyone, but I would like to be with a woman, maybe.”  Collins said.  "You are just confused.  You believe in the Bible, right?”  I asked.  “Well yeah.” Collins answered.  "You cannot put your bra and panties on a lamp, otherwise it won't light up the whole room.” Chris said.  "I almost died laughing.  Jesus said that?” I said laughing.  Jesus actually said, "Don't put a lamp stand under a basket or it won't light up the whole room." While we were all talking, the COs came over the loudspeaker and announced that recreation was over. 

On our way back, there was this female CO walking directly in front of Chris and me.  Her hips were swinging so hard that she may as well have been on a stage.  I pointed at her ass and told Chris, "Bro look!”  I pointed at her voluptuous figure snaking her way along in front of us.  “No!” Chris replied, looking away and down.  “You mean to tell me that you can't notice that nasty walk she's got on her?”  I questioned.  “I think your horns are pointed in the wrong direction.”  Chris pointed to my hair which was in long twist pointed out everywhere.  My hair looks stupid due to COVID our barbering was scarce.  “So, you can't notice?”  I reiterated.  “It's kind of hard not to man.”  Chris finally admitted.  We followed that ass all the way back to unit 11.  She has a mother by the name of Turner that works there, and she's beautiful, too. 

That night, Chris called his girl Anna, as I called Christa.  She was telling me about some detective who wanted to help Chris, wished to speak to him.  I told her I would pass the message.  It was not even 10 minutes before I had already compartmentalized the request from Christa to least important shit and close the door.  It felt good to talk to a woman.  However, I knew she was not 100% about a lot of stuff in her life.  She had ulterior motives. 

A fight just ensued that caused our day room to close, and we had to lock back in our cells.  I won’t be able to call my mother tonight.  Dodge was a boring prison.  All they did was lock us in our cells.  I was stuck on this probation hold for almost a year now.  I was in possession of an alleged six ecstasy pills only, and on a hold this long, and more to go.  Probation and parole already got 11 years out of me, incarcerated at this point, and they still wanted more. 

Since we were already locked in, I sent my fishing line over to Chris's cell to get some food.  The line was made out of dental floss with the comb at the end.  He would see my line and then slide his out under the door to catch mine.  Then he would pull it under his door.  Next, he would attach the food, which was chips, flatten them and hit the wall, meaning it was time for me to pull them in.  Chris looked out for me on canteen.  He was also allowed to order from the catalogues.  I was not.  He ordered me clothes as well.  He gave me a brand new thermal shirt and boxers.  They had his name and DOC numbers stamped in them that I could not erase.  It wouldn't come out. 

That night, there was an argument between two guys.  I would just say a black guy a Puerto Rican to disguise their identities.  They had some words and then decided they would fight when the doors popped open.  This was normal on unit 11.  We went to sleep after we prayed and ate. 

It was morning and the doors were popping open.  Two at a time for cell cleanup.  I was tired.  I was up and washing my face when I heard thumping and radios going off with keys jingling.  The two guys were fighting; it didn't last long because 20 staff showed up to break it up and haul the guys off to segregation.  They were both maced, so the pepper spray was in the air, and we were all choking on the spray.  Chris was very quiet on this particular morning.  Finally, my cell popped open for cell cleanup.  The “tall swamper” inmate worker came into my cell to put the cleaning solution in my toilet.  I started giving him body punches.  We did this every other morning.  Well, I gave him punches that he tried to block and failed.  It was fun.  “You guys, please stop.”  Chris said in a worried manner.  We stopped the horse play.  Chris was scared for us.  He didn't like us fighting and was worried we would get hurt.  I thought to myself that this man supposedly killed his family so how did a hint of violence scare him?  Plus, with the fight just taking place with the other two guys, it was probably best for us not to be fighting either, playing or not. 

I was getting restless.  I wanted to go back home to my family.  I wanted to be laid up with the woman.  I wanted to be able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted.  I wanted to have my phone, no lock doors, and I wanted my real clothes instead of prison greens.  I don't know why I was stressing when my spiritual brother next door had a lifetime to do in prison.  I knew a lot of brothers that are never going home.  So, my situation was nothing to complain about.