Chapter 46 - Life

Unlike Michelle’s trip the previous day, the flight to LA felt like a long, drawn-out walk to death row for Cam. She’d left early that morning when the sun was barely up, and a low mist hung eerily in the air. Usually, she would be buzzing to return and get back to doing what she loved, seeing those she loved. But this time, it felt very different.

She loped down the flight of steps and straight into a waiting car, mobile in hand.

“Erin? It’s me, Cam. Yeah, I know you can read your screen. Listen, I’m in town and I’ll be popping by in about 45 minutes, if the traffic is good.”

“Okay, see you then,” Erin said before quickly disconnecting.

Cam slid her phone back into her pocket and looked out of the window as the world passed by her. Such a familiar scene. Everything blurred into one memory as her mind flashed back to all those years ago to when she had first arrived, meeting Erin outside of OUT.

She smiled to herself and how one moment can change everything. And here she was, about to change everything again.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as the car pulled up outside of OUT. She took a moment to think about things before opening the door and climbing out. The building looked the same. New posters were up advertising the next events and special guest DJs, but other than that, it was just the same as it had always been.

Walking inside, she could smell that familiar mixture of cleaning products and alcohol that no matter what they did, always permeated the air a little. It was comforting, especially today as she took it all in, and the reality of all that was changing began to really hit her.

Olivia waved across the bar at her. Clipboard in hand, she was going through something with Kim, who threw a quick jut of her chin in acknowledgment of her boss’s arrival. Cam waved back before turning towards the stairs.

Assuming Erin was upstairs in her office, Cam headed up, each step feeling heavier until finally she stood outside of the door. She had a fleeting memory of Gavin standing here while she and Michelle fumbled about with clothing on the other side of it. Smiling at the image, she knocked once, and then opened the door.

Erin sat in her chair and swiveled to see who was entering. She went to stand, but Cam held a hand out. “Don’t get up.” She took the seat opposite her friend and smiled. “I’m gonna get straight to it.”

“Shit, you’re firing me?” Erin gasped, both palms slamming to the desk.

Cam frowned. “What? No, why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, but you’ve been gone weeks and then you call out of the blue and say that you’re 45 minutes away and you’re coming straight here, and then you hit me with an ‘I’ll get straight to the point.’” She said everything without a breath and Cam almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

“Seriously, me coming in nowadays means that I must be going to fire you, that’s hysterical.” There was another knock at the door and Olivia popped her head around.

“Did you want anything sent up?”

“Coffee, please,” Cam answered without needing to think. “White, no sugar. Thank you.”

“Sure, I’ll have the usual,” Erin added, watching as Olivia nodded, her long dark hair swinging with the movement before she closed the door.

“So, why are you here then?” Her tone was sharp and intent. “Not that we don’t want you here,” she quickly added, realizing how that had sounded. “Sorry, how’s Michelle, the kids?”

“They’re good, in fact, never been better…that’s kind of why I am here.” Her eyes met with Erin and held. “We’re going to stay.”

“At the lake?” Erin clarified. She sat back in her chair and relaxed a little. Not much, but a little.

Cam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Michelle feels like it’s the best place to raise the kids and…she needs a break from the whole Hollywood scene, try and find her love for acting again.  So, we’re going to stay there and see how things go.”

“And what about here? Are you going to sell?”

Shaking her head, Cam stood up quickly and walked to the window, looking out over the parking lot. The image of herself stripping down to her underwear in order to make a point with Erin, and to give Michelle something to look at, popped into her head, and she chuckled to herself. It was a day for memories, that was for sure.

“Nah, I’m never selling this place. There are too many happy memories.” She turned back to Erin. “But I will be placing you fully in charge, if you want that?” She stepped back towards the chair and sat down again. “You’ll have full control over everything.”

“I already do.” She grinned.

Cam grinned back. “Yeah, well that’s unofficially. This will be official. And as an incentive to keep you, because I need someone I can trust to love this place as much as I do…I’m giving you a 10% stake in it.”

Now Erin relaxed. Sinking back into the seat, she ran a hand through her pink hair. “I’ll own part of this?” she said, her hand moving from her head to wave around the room.

“If you want it.”

“If I want it? Are you crazy? Sure I want it. This place means everything to me too, Cam, you know that.”

The knock at the door stopped Erin from rambling further. Kim opened the door and wandered in with a tray carrying two coffees.

“Olivia said you needed refreshments?”

“Yes, thank you,” Cam replied, moving the paperwork from the corner of the desk so that Kim could settle the tray down on the edge.

“One white, no sugar, for you?” She smiled, handing Cam her mug.

“Yep, that’s me.”

Erin reached across and took her own drink before Kim could pick it up.

“Thanks, Kim. I’ll be down in a moment; can you get everyone together for a quick staff meeting?” Erin asked, and then re-thinking, turned to Cam for assurance that this was the right thing to do next.

“You’re the boss,” Cam said, lifting her mug and grinning.

* * *

Her next stop was going to be the most difficult. Maria. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Her palms were sweaty, and she needed several deep breaths to calm herself.

The cab dropped her off outside of her beachside home, and for a second, she considered just getting back in it and heading for the airport, chickening out of the biggest conversation of her life, bar anything with Michelle and her parents. Maria was the closest thing she’d had to a mother for a long time. She still was, really.

She twisted the key in the lock and stepped inside. A light breeze blew through from where the windows and doors were opened to allow some air in. Maria always liked to air the house, even in the winter. It still felt warm outside to Cam. The sunshine was welcomed and the temperature of 23 degrees was comfortable, and yet she felt the cold dread drifting over her and chilling her bones to the marrow.

“Maria, it’s me,” she shouted out, not wanting to scare the woman who wasn’t expecting her. In hindsight, she should have called ahead; instead she’d half hoped Maria wouldn’t be here, but really, she knew she would. Even with them not being here, Maria would never shirk her duties.

“You home?” She heard the words just as she saw the shorter, older woman bustling out of the kitchen and into the hallway, wiping her hands on a towel as she moved with force towards her. Cam was grabbed and hugged like her last day on earth was imminent, and after this conversation, she wasn’t so sure that it wouldn’t be her last day. “Why you no call, I have nothing cooked,” Maria scolded, whipping her gently with the towel.

“I just…” Her words dried up in her throat. She felt her heart race as she looked down and into the kindest eyes that had ever looked at her. “Spur of the moment, you know?” she finally got out as Maria turned and walked back to the kitchen, beckoning her to follow. Which of course she did.

“Sit, I get you something,” Maria ordered, pointing at one of the bar stools that lined the island. “You want some leftovers? I have some in the freezer. I no cook now you away, so no fresh food in the house,” she explained, pulling the freezer door open and rifling through the drawers. Cam smiled to herself. How many times had she sat in this room while Maria fed her and imparted her words of wisdom? Without Maria, Cam would never have sorted things out with Michelle way back when it was all heading south. Without Maria she would have continued to spiral into a vodka-laden oblivion. This woman had made such a difference to her life, in so many ways.

“Maria, come sit with me. I need to tell you something,” Cam said, pulling the stool next to her our and patting the seat.

Slowly, Maria turned to her. “You firing me?”

Cam threw her hands up in the air, “Why does everyone think I’m going to fire them whenever I wanna talk?”

Maria closed the freezer and came over to sit beside Cam at the island. “I don’t know, maybe cos you been away for weeks, and things change, huh?”

Cam nodded. “Yeah, things do change, but I’m not firing you.”

“You not?” Maria looked serious and concerned.

“No, I’d never do that to you,” Cam reassured, reaching out a hand and taking the other woman’s. “But…the thing is…” Cam fidgeted on her seat.

“Just spit it out, Camryn.”

Cam sucked in a deep breath and then said what she needed to say. “Michelle and I are moving to the lake…permanently.”

Maria sat quietly, thinking those words over in her mind while Cam sat watching and waiting for the response.

“So, why are you not firing me? You sell this house; you move to where you want to live?”

“Firstly, I’m not selling this house, it’s my home,” Cam answered honestly. “And secondly, I have a question to ask…”

“Go on.” Maria nodded.

“I know that now the boys have moved out, you’re by yourself at home, and well, I thought maybe you’d come with us.”

Maria stood up and began to busy herself around the kitchen, wiping invisible marks from the immaculately clean surface. “You want me to come with you, to live by the lake?”

“Yeah. I do, that’s what I want.”

“You know you can’t always have whatever you want, right, Camryn?” She stopped rubbing and stared at Cam.

Tears had filled her eyes, yet to overflow and travel her cheeks, but she felt the tight clench of her chin as she desperately tried not to cry. “I know, but you asked, and I’m answering,” she finally stuttered out.

Maria shook her head. “I can’t, I can’t leave all this…my friends, my life.”

“I understand,” Cam responded sadly. It was the answer she had expected, even if she had hoped for a different outcome.

Maria came around the island and stood in front of Cam, cupping her cheek gently and wiping away the tears that now flowed easily. “But…I can visit.”

It wouldn’t be the same, but Cam understood; how could she not? She knew how hard it was for herself to do this, to up sticks and move away from everyone and everything she loved. Even asking Maria to contemplate it felt somewhat wrong, but she had had to know. 

“And you can visit?” Maria continued. “And I look after the house for you, I work when you here.”

Cam nodded. “That would be lovely, and I will pay you as normal. I don’t want you to have to work anywhere else.”

Maria shook her head. “No, that’s not…”

“It’s what I want. And on this, I can have it, I can afford it, and I want to do it. For selfish reasons. I’m not letting anyone else find out how wonderful you are and have them steal you off me.” She grinned, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

Maria laughed at her. “You are the kindest woman I ever knew. And I am proud to have played a part in your life.” She kissed her cheek. “I accept your offer.”

Cam jumped down from the stool and bear hugged her. “Good. And we will be back often, holidays and work, et cetera, and you can visit as often as you want to. I want my children to know you, and to speak Spanish, so you better come often.”

“I will. Now, you want food?”

Laughing and feeling at ease, Cam took her seat on the stool again. “Yes, I want food.”