Chapter 18 - I'll Be a Home for You

i get to second base

(and i’m chill about it)

(literally, i’ve never been more at ease in my life)

(WHY DO YOU NOT BELIEVE ME?)

Aang

“Let’s start the warm-up!” JJ jumps up from the bleachers the second I enter the gym.

“Hello to you, too.” I throw my bag on the floor and switch off my headphones. I spent the thirty-minute break after Mathletes listening to a podcast on Chinese classifiers, and I still only remember ten. I bet Michael knows fifty. Or a hundred. How many classifiers are there?

“Yes, hello, I’ve never been happier to see you!” JJ grabs my arm, and classifiers fly to the back of my brain. She pulls me into the middle of the gym, where Monique finishes laying down a mat and Bryn’s holding a speaker. After hearing we were going to try some partner stunts two days ago, they volunteered to help.

JJ lets go of my arm. The outline of her hand is warm on my skin.

Bryn puts the speaker on the floor, and cheerleading music blasts from it. I’m afforded the privilege of joining in on a series of jumping jacks and squats.

“Your timing is off!” Monique shouts at me.

I speed up. If I reported her for bullying me, would it be considered “unnecessary contact” by our guidance counselor? I tried emailing Ms. Foster about how to incorporate cheerleading into my college application, but she responded with, “Your application is a year away. Leave me alone.” At least, that was the spirit of the message. She sounded more professional, I’ll give her that.

The music stops. We end the warm-up and get a drink of water. Bryn reties her shoes, Monique does a couple of push-ups, and JJ pulls her T-shirt over her head.

Which is completely fine by me since this is the thirty-seventh time I’m seeing it happen, so really, my heart is beating faster because the warm-up was extremely effective.

Monique raises her eyebrows at me, and I find the most interesting stain on the ceiling.

JJ turns to me, doing arm circles. “Did you watch the videos I sent?”

“Yes, I’ve watched over an hour of the cheerleading content you managed to send me in two days.”

“Great! What are we doing, then?”

“On one, I grab your waist, and you put your hands on my wrists. On three, we dip. On five, I throw you up in a vertical line, and on seven, I catch your feet in my hands.”

“Perfect.” She rubs her hands. “Let’s do it, then.” She stands in front of me.

“Hold up!” Monique raises her hand. “We’re going to go way slower than that. Start by just getting the timing right. Go until five, but do a tiny jump.”

“Killjoy,” JJ mutters, and my lips quirk up.

Bryn claps. “And five, six, seven, eight!”

I curl my fingers around JJ’s waist and force myself not to stroke her hips. Months of cheerleading, and this is getting harder instead of easier. We dip, and I lightly throw her up.

“And again,” Monique orders.

We repeat it until she’s fully satisfied with the timings. “Okay. Now, I’ll hold one of JJ’s legs and help propel her up. Bryn, stand behind Aang and make sure she doesn’t die.”

Bryn salutes her and jogs behind me.

Monique squats in front of JJ, grabbing her foot. We throw her up, but her feet don’t go past my belly button.

My stomach constricts. That was way too low. Brad probably got her all the way up on his first try.

“Good height for the first one,” JJ says when her feet touch the ground. “Let’s go again!”

But after ten repetitions, the most I can manage is for my hand to graze her foot.

“Let’s take a break,” Monique says. She and JJ walk toward the bleachers, speaking in hushed tones, with my flyer gesticulating wildly. I bite my lip. I need to be better.

Bryn’s wide grin appears right in front of my face, and I suppress a yell. “You coming to Brad’s party next week?” she asks.

I could be unconscious, and Remy would still drag me there.

I shrug. “We’ll see.”

“It’ll be so much fun! Monique had to pull some strings to get our costumes last minute, but even she’s not regretting her decision. They’re so pretty.” She tilts her head. “Especially JJ’s.”

Jealousy prickles my neck when it shouldn’t. JJ has refused to tell me what her costume is, but Bryn knows. And that should not be surprising. It’s only been a week since Thanksgiving, and though we’re crawling around in friend territory, she doesn’t owe me anything.

Bryn bumps my elbow. “You should definitely come!” She skips toward the bleachers, where she lunges at Monique. Before Monique can swat her away, JJ grabs her arms. She laughs while Bryn tickles their friend. They stop when Monique starts kicking.

I realize my nails are digging into my palms, and I force them to relax. It’s my fault I missed a whole year of seeing her laugh.

JJ jogs back to me, while Monique curses her from the bleachers. “Next time, you should join us in torturing Monique.”

I force myself to nod.

“You know, even if we can’t do the stunt, I’m happy we’re here.” She smiles.

I translate her words in my head. Don’t worry if you fail at it. You’re not Brad.

I bite my lip. “We should go again.” I shout for Monique and Bryn to join us.

“Oh …” She tucks a loose curl behind her ear. “Okay.” She moves into position when the girls jog over.

This time, I count. “And five, six, seven, eight!” I squat deeper and throw harder.

And she gets there. She flies all the way to my shoulders. Which is so unexpected, I forget to grab her feet.

She squeaks when there’s nothing to land on in the air and falls down. We catch her. I hold my breath, waiting for her annoyed expression, but instead she beams at me. “We were so close. Go again!”

I throw her again, ready to catch her feet this time. But nothing prepares you for the impact of a human landing on your hands. My wrists bend inwards, and JJ tilts, going over my head.

Fuck.

My hands automatically tighten around her ankles, but that doesn’t stop her from falling backward. My heart stops, expecting the thud of her hitting the mat.

Bryn catches JJ’s head, only letting her hair brush the ground.

My heart revives itself. Before I can ask if she’s okay, Monique pokes me in the chest. “Are you stu—”

“Hey.” JJ shoots her a look. “Be nice.”

Monique closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she speaks again, her voice strains to contain itself to a non-shouting volume. “If the flyer is falling backward, the best thing you can do is let go of the feet, move back, and catch the torso. Coach has said it so many times.”

I nod quickly. “I know, I just didn’t think and …” I turn to JJ. “I’m sorry.”

She waves my apology away. “Everyone’s first instinct is to grab the feet. And Monique is conveniently forgetting she’s had ten years to fight that instinct, not barely three months.” She stands up. “Bryn, help stabilize Aang’s wrists once I land on his hands. Let’s go again.”

I throw JJ up and brace my wrists for the impact. My hands tremble, but Bryn wraps her hands around my wrists, reducing the shaking. It doesn’t matter, because JJ tilts backward again. Not as much as before, though. A small enough tilt that she should be able to right herself. But the fear clouds my judgment, and I let go of her feet to get her down. I wrap my arms around her trunk, and when her feet softly touch the ground, I exhale, squeezing her tighter to me.

“That was … a good catch.” There’s an edge to her voice.

I look at where my arms are wrapped around her. My right hand is squeezing her left boob.

It’s like I put my hand in a fire.

I disentangle myself and jump away from her. What is my life? The closest to a kiss I’ve ever gotten was a peck on the cheek from a girl at math camp, but in the last three months, my hands have been on multiple girls’ waists and butts. And now I’ve gotten to second base. I don’t think this is the sequence of events promised to me by baseball metaphors.

Hot splotches pop up on my cheeks.

“Should we … finish for today?” Bryn asks.

JJ’s mouth makes the shape of a no.

I’m beginning to hyperventilate. Calm down. Do not look like you liked it. Act like it’s not a big deal.

I shrug.

Monique furrows her brow. “Is that a yes or a no?”

I shrug again.

The three of them survey me skeptically. “Monique, Bryn …” JJ says. “Maybe you should get some water.”

When they walk away, I focus on JJ’s face. And nothing below it. She has dark-brown eyes, but there are also patches of green in the irises. Maybe she got them from her mom.

JJ takes a step toward me. “You okay?”

“Yes!” I squeal. “I mean, nothing happened to not be okay about! I am your backspot, and I was just doing my job!”

“Yes, you were.” Her voice is slow, like she’s talking down a wild animal. “I’m not upset about anything. Are you?”

I shake my head so fast that the world goes blurry. Her cheek twitches, amusement playing in her eyes.

I blink. “Are you trying not to laugh at me?”

She nods.

“This isn’t funny.”

She bursts out laughing, and my lips pull up against my will.

“Let’s finish for today. Try not to grab anyone’s chest on your way home, perv.”

I hide my face in my hands. “This is bullying.”

“And I missed it so much.” She rests an elbow on my shoulder. She’s not an adequate height for it, so she contorts herself to get there.

I look down and meet her eyes. There are definitely patches of green there. “I missed you bullying me, too.”

“Great friendship we’re having here.”

Yes. I’m happy that we’re friends again.

I’m happy that we’re friends.

Me. Happy. Us. Friends.